Monday, September 20, 2021

#704. Asshole Noem


Constructed in 1964, the Houston Astrodome was once hailed as the 8th Wonder of the World.  Even though it currently sits vacant in the shadow of NRG Stadium, it's still considered an iconic landmark.  Thus it cannot be legally razed.  Cue the futility of the parking gods.

Now the state of South Dakota is far removed from the 4th largest city in the country, but here's my idea.  Okay, everyone knows that Mount Rushmore is one of the 7 Wonders of the World.  Right?  Well, not really.  But in the era of the Orange Prolapse, you just say it is.  And repeat it over and over.  Until you accept the nonsensical lie.  Basically until the ad nauseum aspect makes you physically nauseous.  It's called revisionist history.

So anyhoo, here's my idea.  Herewith, whenever someone references South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, they shalt wondrously and gazingly address her as "Asshole Noem."  A fitting tribute to her superstar status in the GOP.


Asshole Noem


Former Houston mayor Roy Hofheinz

For she is the 9th Wonder of the GOP.  

I'm not sure which hypothetical scenario leaves me more palpably ill.  

Pence & Noem?  Pompeo & Noem?  Cruz & Noem?  Covid & Noem?  

God help us.

Governor Kristi Noem:

Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)

Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

Fuck The Leech:  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)

Noem: (Phish --- Foam)

Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)

Please do not share this material with Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD).

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