#3604. Travis Turner

Since I hail from Western Virginia, I feel compelled to weigh in on the Travis Turner controversy.

Turner's the Union High School football coach and MAGA loyalist affiliated with the Proud Boys who went missing... shortly after revelations of possession of child pornography and solicitation of a minor.

Remnants of a once high-profile Dump on the Ft. Duquesne Bridge.  Yesterday, the Steelers got thumped by the Bills at Acrisure (26-7).

Just when you think things can't get any more preposterous, the Orange Prolapse is currently weighing the pros and cons of issuing a posthumous pardon to the late Jeff Epstein.

Believe it or not, even amidst the embarrassment and all of the adversity, the Union Bears are on a hot streak.  They might even find themselves competing for a state championship title.

You gotta wonder if the Orange Prolapse will pardon another pedophile... convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky!  Hey, what better way to stick it to the pro-pedo sodomizing libtards.

 

Travis Turner
sonofsaf

An Orange Prolapse attack
Stormy in the sack
Big Mac Quarter Pound
Gluttonous sin
Golden toilet flush
Cunt is full of crust
The truth will be obscured
Wishin’ he’d die

Pies are creaming, yearning
Travis Turner, Travis Turner

Spreading the big lie
Hopin’ that he’ll die
Not fade away*
Ivanka’s a god damn Jew
Infection of the yeast
The McDonald’s is greased
Trump’s Filet ‘O Fish breath
He’ll cum on her too

Pies are creaming, yearning
Travis Turner, Travis Turner
Travis Turner, Travis Turner

An Orange Prolapse attack
Stormy in the sack
Not fade away
Ivanka’s a god damn Jew
Golden toilet flush
Cunt is full of crust
Trump’s Filet ‘O Fish breath
He’ll cum on her too

Pies are creaming, yearning
Travis Turner, Travis Turner
Travis Turner, Travis Turner
Travis Turner, Travis Turner
Travis Turner, Travis Turner

 

Afterburner
Saxon

I pull the throttle back
Ready to attack
Turn the bow around
Into the wind
Waiting for the rush
Engines on full thrust
We shoot a metal bird
Into the sky

Power screaming, burning
Afterburner, afterburner

Let the eagle’s cry
Launch into the sky
Like birds of prey
They circle high above you
We on the mighty beast
The challenger unleashed
The messengers of death
Will come among you

Power screaming, burning
Afterburner, afterburner
Afterburner, afterburner

I pull the throttle back
Ready to attack
Like birds of prey
They circle high above you
Waiting for the rush
Engines on full thrust
The messengers of death
Will come among you

Power screaming, burning
Afterburner, afterburner
Afterburner, afterburner
Afterburner, afterburner
Afterburner, afterburner 

Every once in a blue moon, I'll write a parody but not listen to the actual song.  This... was one of those times.

From 1980 to the present, Saxon has invaded the Burgh a grand total of 4 times.  Believe it or not, they played the Roxian Theatre just last year.  Opening for Uriah Heep.  Never seen 'em.

The Big Lie 100:

#3412.  Epstein Files (Million Miles --- Fuel)

#3413.  Nancy Mace (Cyberspace --- AC/DC)

#3414.  Nancy Mace (Paper Chase --- The Academy Is...)

#3415.  Sarah Qudah (Barracuda --- Heart) 

#3416.  Bolton Bummer (Golden Slumbers --- Paul McCartney)

#3417.  Jeff Crank (Blood Bank --- Macabre)

#3418.  Donald Trump's A Total Shitshow (Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go --- Wham)

#3419.  Laura E. Loomer (I Heard A Rumor --- Bananarama)

#3420.  Gor (War --- Son Lux)

#3421.  Gor (War --- The Exploited)

#3422.  Fat Orange Man (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#3423.  Senator Rounds (Comforting Sounds --- Mew)

#3424.  Trump Center (Tormentor --- Kreator)

#3425.  Gor (War --- The Cardigans) 

#3426.  O'Neill (The Wheel --- Grateful Dead)

#3427.  Fuck Ashli Babbitt (I Am A Rabbitt --- The Lemonheads)

#3428.  Ernst Was For Sale (Cursed Female --- Porno For Pyros)

#3429.  Donald Clown (Golden Brown --- The Stranglers)

#3430.  Jim O'Neill (Heart Of Steel --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#3431.  Cracker's A Barrel (Roll Out The Barrel --- West Coast Prost)

#3432.  Scumbag Nancy Mace (Scumbag Human Race --- Destruction)

#3433.  Trump (Plump --- Hole)

#3434.  Laura Loomer (Sense Of Humor --- Daniel Johnston)

#3435.  Ashley Hinson (Turning Crimson --- IAMX)

#3436.  Dana White (Satellite --- Depeche Mode)

#3437.  Dana White (Dynamite --- Scorpions)

#3438.  Dana White (Satellite --- All Time Low)

#3439.  Dana White (One More Night --- Phil Collins)

#3440.  White (Night --- Judy Collins)

#3441.  Dana White (Fly By Night --- Rush)

#3442.  Dana White (Silent Night --- Taylor Swift)

#3443.  White (Fight --- The Cure)

#3444.  Dana White (Satellite --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#3445.  Trump Is Inbred (Over My Head --- Alabama Shakes)

#3446.  Amicola (Ayatollah --- Catfish And The Bottlemen)

#3447.  Charlie Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)

#3448.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#3449.  White's Cum (nightcum --- Corbin)

#3450.  Dana White (Satellite --- Guster)

#3451.  Tyler Robinson (Mrs. Robinson --- Simon & Garfunkel)

#3452.  Dana White (See The Light --- Hillsong Worship)

#3453.  Buffalo Bills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)

#3454.  Russ Diamond (Black Diamond --- Kiss)

#3455.  Tyrus (Iris --- Goo Goo Dolls)

#3456.  Tyrus (Iris --- The Breeders)

#3457.  Tyrus (Iris --- Live)

#3458.  Blow Dana White (Go Fly A Kite --- Bing Crosby)

#3459.  Russ Diamond (Black Diamond --- Bee Gees)

#3460.  Charlie Kirk (Dirty Work --- Sunami)

#3461.  The Orange Prolapse Stain (I Can't Stand The Rain --- Tina Turner)

#3462.  Tyrus (Iris --- Pastel Ghost)

#3463.  Fuck Dana White (The Inner Light --- The Beatles)

#3464.  Antifa (Amnesia --- The Vines)

#3465.  Antifa (Amnesia --- Mr. Kittie)

#3466.  Jimmy Kimmel (Sacrificial --- Death)

#3467.  Tits Are Fake (Cups And Cakes --- Spinal Tap)

#3468.  Dumbfuck Bondi (Must Crush Barbie --- Spinal Tap)

#3469.  Blowing In Mar-a-Lago (Going To California --- Led Zeppelin)

#3470.  The UFC And Dana White (I'm Beginning To See The Light --- Frank Sinatra)

#3471.  Donald Loved Stormy (Gimme Some Money --- Spinal Tap)

#3472.  Jerry Jeudy (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#3473.  Antifa (Amnesia --- Saga)

#3474.  Congressman Don Bacon (Bringing Home The Bacon --- Procol Harum)

#3475.  Brendan Carr (Drive My Car --- The Beatles)

#3476.  Trump Gold Card (Cop Graveyard --- Teen Suicide)

#3477.  Trump Dump Forever (Hell Bent For Leather)

#3478.  Trump Dump World (Stupid Girl --- Garbage)

#3479.  Trump Is A Shitshow (Come To My Window --- Melissa Etheridge) 

#3480.  Gold Card (Graveyard --- Blue Rodeo)

#3481.  Halligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Goodbye --- Hamilton)

#3482.  Prosecutor Halligan (Alexander Hamilton --- Hamilton

#3483.  Dirty Cop (Coffee Shop --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#3484.  Dirty Cop (Lollipop --- The Chordettes)

#3485.  Dirty Cop (Candy Shop --- 50 Cent & Olivia)

#3486.  SLIMEBALL (Rag Doll --- Franki Valli & The Four Seasons)

#3487.  Dirty Cop (Lollipop --- Treblemakers)

#3488.  Trump Shutdown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#3489.  The Donald's Trumpin' And Dumpin' (You've Got Another Thing Comin' --- Judas Priest)

#3490.  Slimeball (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)

#3491.  The Donald Shutdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#3492.  Shutdown (Downtown --- Petula Clark)

#3493.  Shutdown Street (Shakedown Street --- Grateful Dead)

#3494.  Shutdown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3495.  Trump Shut Shit Down (Don't Bring Me Down --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#3496.  Jared Kushner's A Jew (What I Like About You --- The Romantics)

#3497.  Shutdown (Slow Down --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#3498.  Pete Hegseth (Kiss of Death --- Dokken)

#3499.  Peter Hegseth (Angel Of Death --- Slayer)

#3500.  Fake News (Bad News --- Zach Bryan)

#3501.  Trumpin'  (Truckin' --- Grateful Dead)

#3502.  Donald's Hair & Andy Barr (Kitchenwares & Candy Bars --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#3503.  Pete Hegseth (Kiss Of Death --- New Order)

#3504.  Univision (Television --- Stabbing Westward)

#3505.  Nobel Peace Prize (Devil Inside --- INXS)

#3506.  Scavino (Don't You Know --- The Hollies)

#3507.  Trump Fucked Stormy (Pump Dat Party --- Chemical Brothers)

#3508.  Donald J. Trump (Mutual Slump --- DJ Shadow)

#3509.  Scavino (Don't You Know --- DEVO)

#3510.  Trump (Slump --- Ginger Root)

#3511.  Dumping In Mar-A-Lago (Humping On Your Stereo --- Supergrass)

#3512.  Meloni (Bologna --- Oscar Meyer Commercial)

#3513.  Kushner's A Fucking Jew (Making Our Dreams Come True --- Cyndi Grecco)

#3514.  Scott Kenneth Bessent (Under The Crescent --- Lake Of Tears)

#3515.  Disarm (Disarm --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3516.  Vince Fong (Bird Song --- Grateful Dead)

#3517.  Scott Bessent's Face (Incessant Mace --- Soundgarden)

#3518.  Kirk Was A Bitch (Working The Ditch --- Melvins)

#3519.  Blue Slip (One Slip --- Pink Floyd)

#3520.  Gallrein (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

#3521.  Thune Plan (Spoonman --- Soundgarden)

#3522.  Scott Bessent's Gay (Fluorescent Grey)

#3523.  Ed Gallrein (Ball And Chain --- The Who)

#3524.  Matt Van Epps (Baby Steps --- Olivia Dean)

#3525.  William Crain (Mary Jane --- Spin Doctors)

#3526.  William Crain (Gravy Train --- Staus Quo)

#3527.  Cole (Hole --- Jimmie's Chicken Shack)

#3528.  Donald Trump And Paul Gosar (Anyone Can Play Guitar --- Radiohead)

#3529.  Ballroom Shit (Ballroom Blitz --- Krokus)

#3530.  Ballroom (Perfume --- Old 97's)

#3531.  Ballroom Bullshit (Courtroom Spirit --- Annette Soundtrack)

#3532.  Sununu (Who Are You --- Black Sabbath)

#3533.  Brad Little's Turds (Three Little Birds --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

#3534.  'Vanka's A Jew (Still Loving You --- Scorpions)

#3535.  Donald's In Charge (Charles In Charge --- Sitcom theme song)

#3536.  Andrew Clyde (Suicide --- Teen Suicide)

#3537.  (Ice Team) --- ((Nice Dream) --- Radiohead)

#3538.  Arctic Frost (Holocaust --- Ceremony)

#3539.  Arctic Frost (Holocaust --- Dan England & John Ford Coley)

#3540.  Tylenol (Waterfall --- Bananarama)

#3541.  Tylenol (Cannonball --- The Breeders)

#3542.  Arctic Frost (Holocaust --- Son Volt)

#3543.  Melissa (Melissa --- King Diamond)

#3544.  Trump Dumpin' It's The Ballroom Shitshow (She Came In Through The Bathroom Window --- The Beatles)

#3545.  Peace Through Strength (Give Me Strength --- Eric Clapton)

#3546.  Peace Through Strength (Inner Strength --- Hilary Duff)

#3547.  Peace Through Strength (Give Me Strength --- Neil Young)

#3548.  Tylenol (Waterfall --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#3549.  Ballroom (Perfume --- The Jesus And Mary Chain)

#3550.  Nigeria (Albania --- Coach from Cheers)

#3551.  Forty-Five (So Alive --- Love And Rockets)

#3552.  Andrew Clyde (Mama Tried --- Grateful Dead)

#3553.  Stormy's Thong (We Belong --- Pat Benatar)

#3554.  Stormy's Thong Forever (We Belong Together --- Bad Brains)

#3555.  Stormy's Thong Brings Pleasure (We Belong Together --- Ritchie Valens)

#3556.  Andrew Clyde (Suicide --- Puddle of Mudd)

#3557.  Donald Is A Wimp (Danny Is A Wimp --- Screeching Weasel)

#3558.  Scharf Lie (Barfly --- Ray LaMontagne)

#3559.  Ballroom (Perfume --- Marilyn Manson)

#3560.  Seven (Heaven --- Bryan Adams)

#3561.  Casey Means (Pork And Beans --- Weezer)

#3562.  Fuentes Is Inbred (Always In My Head --- Coldplay)

#3563.  Shitshow MAGA Trumper (Hello From The Gutter --- Overkill)

#3564.  Liz Peek (Don't Speak --- No Doubt)

#3565.  Two Thousand Dollars (A Thousand Miles --- Vanessa Carlton)

#3566.  Liz Peek (Boutique --- Love Is Noise)

#3567.  Amon-Ra St. Brown (Runnin' Down A Dream --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3568.  Amon-Ra: St. Brown Clown (Farmingdale: The Downtown --- They Might Be Giants)

#3569.  Amon-Ra St.: Brown Is A Clown) (Shake Your Body: Down To The Ground --- The Jacksons)

#3570.  Amon-Ra St. Brown (Just Another Clown --- Jigsaw Youth)

#3571.  Saint Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3572.  Epstein Hoax (Different Strokes theme song --- Alan Thicke)

#3573.  Stormy D.  (Hard On Me --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3574.  Marjorie (Forgery --- Prong)

#3575.  Fuck Tha Police (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#3576.  The Donald And Marjorie (Cool Amber And Mercury --- Phish)

#3577.  Trumpin' 'n Dumpin' (Money For Nothing --- Dire Straits)

#3578.  Newt (Nude --- Radiohead)

#3579.  Stormy D.  (Jammin' Me -- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3580.  Rod Bray (Good Day --- New Hope Club)

#3581.  Epstein Files (100 Miles --- Bad Company)

#3582.  Jeff Epstein Files (A Hundred Miles --- Meat Puppets)

#3583.  The Epstein Files (A Million Miles --- Heart)

#3584.  Jeff Epstein Files (10,000 Miles --- Mary Chapin Carpenter)

#3585.  Jeff Epstein Files (Five Hundred Miles --- Justin Timberlake)

#3586.  Epstein Files Hooray (Million Miles Away --- The Offspring)

#3587.  Matt Van Epps (Fifteen Steps --- Radiohead)

#3588.  Infection Of The Yeast (The Number Of The Beast --- Iron Maiden)

#3589.  Greene (Green --- The Dandy Warhols)

#3590.  The Orange Prolapse Clown (The Heart Of A Clown --- Willie Nelson)

#3591.  Ivanka (Roseanna --- Toto)

#3592.  Hunt (Hunt --- Oklou)

#3593.  Wesley Hunt (Battlefront --- Rage Of Light)

#3594.  A MAGA Kerfuffle (The Super Bowl Shuffle --- 1985 Chicago Bears team)

#3595.  Hunt's A Clown (Hunted Down --- Soundgarden)

#3596.  Fucking Jew (Wrecking Crew --- Overkill)

#3597.  Has A Job To Blow (Woman From Tokyo --- Deep Purple)

#3598.  Happy Thanksgiving (The Unforgiven --- Metallica)

#3599.  Charlotte's Web (Arrowhead --- Torche)

#3600.  The Epstein Files (2,000 Miles --- The Pretenders)

#3601.  Matty Van Epps (Gimme Three Steps --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#3602.  Orange Clown (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#3603.  Jeff Epstein Files (I Walk For Miles --- Dinosaur Jr.)

#3604.  Travis Turner (Afterburner --- Saxon) 

Please do not share this material with family and friends of Travis Turner and/or President Donald J. Trump.