Kamala Harris and Tim Walz are doing a brief bus tour of Beaver County. As I'm writing this crap, they just finished an event in Rochester, PA.
Some advice for the Harris/Walz campaign. Lean into the "football COACH angle." But explain it in terms of Little League baseball. You know, how the most important aspect of the game is the most obvious aspect of the game. How if you lose, a NORMAL coach would take the responsibility and blame and try to fix or improve the situation. You know, move forward. But a dumbshit, asshole coach would take the exact opposite approach. And just proclaim they suck, they're stupid, we won, they cheated, etc. Sound familiar?
I have a great campaign commercial idea for this shit. Explain it in terms of the ice cream victory celebration. A bunch of second grade boys piling into the back of an old Ford pick-up truck to go get Dairy Queen. But the kids are confused because they all know they got beat 12-0. Yet coach Donald Trump is telling them they won. Huge! Humorous, mocking, demeaning, brutal, etc.
Market Square Power Dump! |
Every 50+ year old, male in a red state would totally identify with the Little League concept. Why? Because they've already seen it play out... for decades.
Tim Walz Inspires
sonofsaf
Jared’s a nerd and Ivanka is lame
Fuckin’ cunt and Orange Prolapse stain
Viagra thrill, Trump’s blue pill
Minnesota’s Tim Walz inspires
Trump is a cunt who wants all of your money
Mushroom ain’t long, tiny and funny
Third world his mind, unkind
Minnesota’s Tim Walz inspires
Trump is lazy, yeah, not good
Stormy baby, opened her cunt to get some tiny wood
His mind, declined
Trumper flags unfurled all the time time time time
Send him to jail ‘cause The Donald’s a cunt
Forty-five fucked us but we didn’t cum
Porno maybe, Stormy’s tasty
Minnesota’s Tim Walz inspires
Trump is lazy, yeah, not good
Stormy baby
opened her cunt to get some tiny wood
His mind, declined
Trumper flags unfurled all the time time time time
Send him to jail ‘cause The Donald’s a cunt
Forty-five fucked us but we didn’t cum
Porno maybe, Stormy’s tasty
Minnesota’s Tim Walz inspires
Great Balls Of Fire
Jerry Lee Lewis
You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
Too much love drives a man insane
You broke my will, what a thrill
Goodness gracious great balls of fire
I learned to love 'cause I thought it was funny
You came along and moved me honey
This world is fine, you're mine
Goodness gracious great balls of fire
Kiss me baby, yeah, feels good
Hold me baby, I want to love you like a lover should
You're fine, so kind
Got to tell this world that you're mine mine mine mine
I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs
I'm surely nervous but it sure is fun
Come on baby, drive me crazy
Goodness gracious great balls of fire
Kiss me baby, oh, feels good
Hold me baby
I wanna love you like a lover should
Your fine, so kind
Got tell this world that your mine mine mine mine
I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs
I'm surely nervous but it sure is fun
Come on baby, drive me crazy
Goodness gracious great balls of fire
I opted for a cover version of the Jerry Lee Lewis classic.
From 1987 to 2016, Chris Isaak crooned the Burgh a grand total of 5 times. Never seen him.