#2696. Gabbard

Definitely one of my more ambitious parodies.  Even the courageous Weird Al would steer clear the Rolling Stones song "Shattered."  I think he'd drop his accordion and run for the hills of West Virginia.

Well, well, well... Donald Trump just received a "coveted" endorsement from Fox News opportunist Tulsi Gabbard.  

At a speech yesterday in Detroit, Tulsi promises to award Trump with the "Orange Heart."  It's a newly conceived variation of the Purple Heart.

Utter brutality on the Roberto Clemente Bridge ahead of Pup Night at PNC Park.  Trust me, this Dump has it all (including black & yellow jimmies).  Total showstopper.  The picture doesn't even remotely do it justice.  I'm guessing it was expelled by a Great Dane or some breed of Mastiff.  Possibly a gorilla. 

Peculiar that the Orange Prolapse would relish the approval of a Hindu/Samoan former Democrat.  But hey, if you wish to achieve high-end political power and have people kiss your ass, well you gottta rally the troops.  Not with a yellow ribbon around an old oak tree.  Instead you gotta kiss the ring of an Orange Prolapse and suck his tiny, mushroom penis.  Times they've been a changin'.

Tulsi, which means "holy basil"... (whatever the fuck that means) is angling for a job with Trump's potential transition team which already includes Robert F. Kennedy, J.D. Vance, and his kids Beavis & Butthead. 

 

Gabbard
sonofsaf

Tulsi Gabbard, Tulsi Gabbard
Cunt’s a dope who cannot cream
Butt will she lick Orange Prolapse meat
Fuckin’ see, why it matters
Trump loves Gabbard
Gabbard

Donald’s always harming
‘Cause he wants Ukraine disarming
Wife sucks his cock that little MAGA meat
A battle, MAGA’s blessed but not the fags, he's psychopathic
(Fox boobies, Gabbard)
Zero compassion
(Fox boobies, Gabbard)

Dildo toy, that bone is less complex, complex, complex, complex
Fuckin’ see, why it matters
Trump loves Gabbard
Gabbard

Is he fitter-fatter, fitter-fatter, fitter-fatter no doubt
Donald’s fuckin’ daughter, Trump’s Ivanka Kushner is a fuckin’ Jew
Dad clown is so much fatter, uh huh, (Fox boobies, Gabbard)
Twerk and twerk herpes simplex
Any wonder her BeBest, BeBest, BeBest, BeBest
Donald’s fatter. (Gabbard)

Donald’s fatter.

Ahhh, fuckin’ see, Tulsi Gabbard
Tulsi Gabbard
Fuckin’ see, Tulsi Gabbard, meh

Dildo toy insert the rest
Tits are fake that’s Stormy’s chest
Dildo toy it makes her scream, it’s just a different form of meat (Gabbard)
And fuckin’ see, why it matters, yeah (Gabbard)

Why it matters, ‘cause Donald’s fatter (Gabbard)
Donoald’s fatter, uh-huh (Gabbard)
Donald’s fatter. Uh-huh
She’s Gabbard
Mm-mm, she’s Gabbard

The Fox boobies, Gabbard
The Fox boobies, Gabbard
Foc boobies, Gabbard, Gabbard

Make America great but it’s fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked. (Fox boobies, Gabbard)
The Donald’s a clown who’s gonna suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck (Fox boobies, Gabbard) (Fox boobies, Gabbard, Gabbard)

BeBest First Lady lies, husband’s a clown (Fox boobies, Gabbard)
Bigger chest, that clown is fatter, Tulsi Gabbard (Fox boobies, Gabbard)
Our nation’s shattered, shattered all over the homeland (Fox boobies, Gabbard)

Fox boobies, Gabbard, Gabbard
Trump is gay.
Fox boobies, Gabbard
Fox boobies, Gabbard
Fox boobies, Gabbard

A clown’s not a funny blabber
Bad in bed, fights a big battle, but Trump’s a faggot, uh-huh (Fox boobies, Gabbard)

Fox boobies, her face cum-splattered
(Fox boobies, Gabbard, Gabbard)
Stormy D. fucked a clown, who’s fatter, fatter, fatter, fatter, fatter, fatter, fatter
(Fox boobies, Gabbard) (Fox boobies, Gabbard)
Vile shit cunt, vile shit cunt, vile shit lyin’ does matter
(Fox boobies, Gabbard, Gabbard)

 

Shattered
Rolling Stones

Uh huh shattered, uh huh shattered
Love and hope and sex and dreams
Are still surviving on the street
Look at me, I'm in tatters
I been shattered
Shattered

Friends are so alarming
And my lover's never charming
Life's just a cocktail party on the street
Big Apple, people dressed in plastic bags, directing traffic
(Shadoobie, shattered)
Some kind of fashion
(Shadoobie, shattered)

Laughter, joy, and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex
Look at me, I'm in tatters
I been shattered
Shattered

All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter about
Shmatta, shmatta, shmatta, I can't give it away on 7th Avenue
This town's been wearing tatters, uh huh (Shadoobie, shattered)
Work and work for love and sex
Ain't you hungry for success, success, success, success
Does it matter? (Shattered)

Does it matter?

Ahhh, look at me, I'm a shattered
I'm a shattered
Look at me, I'm a shattered, yeah

Pride and joy and greed and sex
That's what makes that town the best
Pride and joy and dirty dreams and still surviving on the street (shattered)
And look at me, I'm in tatters, yeah (shattered)

I'm in tatters, what does it matter (shattered)
Does it matter, uh-huh (shattered)
Does it matter? Uh-huh
I'm shattered
Mm-mm, I'm shattered

Huh shadoobie, shattered
Huh shadoobie, shattered
Shadoobie, shattered, shattered

Don't you know the crime rate's going up, up, up, up, up? (Shadoobie, shattered)
To live in this town you must be tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough (Shadoobie, shattered) (Shadoobie, shattered, shattered)

We've got rats on the west side, bed bugs uptown (Shadoobie, shattered)
What a mess, this town's in tatters, I've been shattered (Shadoobie, shattered)
My brain's been battered, splattered all over Manhattan (Shadoobie, shattered)

Shadoobie, shattered, shattered
What I say?
Shadoobie, shattered
Shadoobie, shattered
Shadoobie, shattered

This town's full of money grabbers (Shadoobie, shattered)
Go ahead, bite the Big Apple, don't mind the maggots, uh-huh (Shadoobie, shattered) (Shadoobie, shattered)

Shadoobie, my brain's been battered
(Shadoobie, shattered, shattered)
My friends they come around, they flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter
(Shadoobie, shattered) (Shadoobie, shattered)
Pile it up, pile it up, pile it high on the platter
(Shadoobie, shattered, shattered)

I opted for a live version of Shattered from Sun Devil Stadium - 1981, Tempe, AZ.  We saw the Stones in Glendale, AZ about 3 months ago.  They didn't sound "better than ever."  But for a bunch of 80 year old guys, they sounded pretty damn good.  Anyhoo, we had a blast.  Scored a free ticket and pulled a "barrier stunt" on the outdoor smoking patio.  Snagged some almost front row seats right off the left side of the stage.  Huzzah.

From 1964 to the present, the Stones have played the Burgh a grand total of 11 times.

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN

10-4-21, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

5-7-24, State Farm Stadium, Glendale, AZ

In other news, Jack White just announced a "pop-up" show at Mr. Smalls Theatre about a mile from our house on August 29.  It's part of a 6 show tour.  Tix are $125 and you have to submit your info into a lottery system and hope your "name gets picked."  So the real question is... Saf, will you and Gigi be trying to buy tickets at full price?  And the answer is yes.  Of course. 

Unprecedented! 

 

The Big Lie 100: (#1824)

#2566.  Vance (Chance --- Big Country)

#2567.  Donald Trump Ain't Devout (That's What It's All About --- Brooks & Dunn)

#2568.  Royce White (Love Bites --- Judas Priest)

#2569.  Royce Isn't White (Fight For Your Right --- Beastie Boys)

#2570.  Trump's A Cunt (Light My Love --- Greta Van Fleet)

#2571.  Vincent Fong (We Belong --- Pat Benatar)

#2572.  Fong's A Clown (Long Way Down --- Goo Goo Dolls)

#2573.  Vincent Fong In Trump Tower (All Along The Watchtower --- Grateful Dead)

#2574.  Red Lobster (Rock Lobster --- B-52's)

#2575.  Robert Jr. (Way Cool Jr. --- Ratt)

#2576.  Daines The Cunt (Chains Of Love --- B.B. King)

#2577.  John McGuire (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#2578.  John McGuire (Start The Fire --- Metal Church)

#2579.  John McGuire (I'm On Fire --- Bruce Springsteen)

#2580.  Bill Lee (Billy --- Judge Smails)

#2581.  McGuire (Crossfire --- Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble)

#2582.  McGuire (Live Wire --- Motley Crue)

#2583.  McGuire (Hang Wire --- Pixies)

#2584.  Tim Sheehy (Faithfully --- Journey) 

#2585.  No Tim Sheehy (No Sympathy --- Bob Marley)

#2586.  Joseph McGuire (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#2587.  Tim Sheehy (Thirty Three --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#2588.  Jared's A Jew (No One Like You --- Scorpions)

#2589.  Kicker Harrison Butker (The Mother of All Fuckers --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2590.  McGuire (Hang Fire --- Rolling Stones)

#2591.  Fuck Harrison Butker (Hello From The Gutter --- Overkill)

#2592.  U.S. Jews (U.S. Blues --- Grateful Dead)

#2593.  Jeff Van Drew (Black And Blue --- Van Halen)

#2594.  Alex Jones (Game Of Thrones --- HBO)

#2595.  Ed Martin (The Curtain --- Phish)

#2596.  Trumpin' (Women --- Def Leppard)

#2597.  Mike Roman (Bad Omen --- Megadeth) 

#2598.  Trump Is A Clown (Farewell For Now --- Greta Van Fleet)

#2599.  Sam Brown (This Town --- Neil Young)

#2600.  Sam Brown (Showdown --- E.L.O.)

#2601.  Sam Brown (Ghost Town --- The Vaccines)

#2602.  Sam Brown's A Clown (Don't Let Me Down --- The Beatles)

#2603.  Lies Of Nancy Mace (Eyes Without A Face --- Billy Idol)

#2604.  Trump Romancer (Tiny Dancer --- Elton John)

#2605.  Downing (Drowning --- Radio Company)

#2606.  Orange Prolapsin' Fart (Listen To Your Heart --- Roxette)

#2607.  Donald's Dildo Toys (Come On Feel The Noize --- Quiet Riot)

#2608.  Trump Dumps Ain't A Crime (One Day At A Time --- Cristy Lane)

#2609.  All You Need Is Trump (All You Need Is Love ---The Beatles)

#2610.  O'Brien (O'Brien --- Seinfeld episode)

#2611.  Tenney Is A Whore (Penny On The Floor --- The Clarks)

#2612.  Trump Is Great (Born Too Late --- The Clarks)

#2613.  Gabe (Babe --- Styx)

#2614.  Doug Burgum's A Cunt (I Want A New Drug --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2615.  Pastor John Mark Burns (As the World Burns --- Kreator)

#2616.  Deepfake (Jailbreak --- Anthrax)

#2617.  Buckhout (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#2618.  Deepfaker (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2619.  Donald Trump (Tainted Love --- Soft Cell)

#2620.  Donald Trump (Icky Thump --- White Stripes)

#2621.  Steve Daines (The Plains --- Wilco)

#2622.  Deepfaker (Heartbreaker --- Free)

#2623.  Trump's A Clown (All Right Now --- Queen w/ Paul Rodgers)

#2624.  Donald Trump Is Tragic (Listen To The Music --- Doobie Brothers)

#2625.  Greenwood (Falsehood --- Alpha Wolf)

#2626.  Orange Prolapse (Built To Last --- Grateful Dead)

#2627.  The Donald's A Clown From Florida (The Devil Went Down To Georgia --- Charlie Daniels Band) 

#2628.  Trump Dump (Love Dump --- Static-X)

#2629.  Missouri Doctor Bob Onder (Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder --- Dean Martin)

#2630.  Bobb (Job --- Iggy Pop & The Stooges)

#2631.  Kremer (Dreamer --- Supertramp)

#2632.  Amy Fuckin' Kremer (Jesus, My Redeemer --- Chris Tomlin)

#2633.  Amy Kremer (Jesus Screamer --- Sodom)

#2634.  Donald Trump Is Shitty (Isn't It A Pity --- My Morning Jacket)

#2635.  McGuire (Crossfire --- Judas Priest)

#2636.  Arizona Cunt Nancy Cottle (If I Could Make Love To A Bottle --- Weird Al Yankovic)

#2637.  Cottle Fuck (Bottled Up --- DEVO)

#2638.  Grothman (Loves The Orange Prolapse --- Caution: Do Not Stop On Tracks --- Grateful Dead)

#2639.  Crooks Will Kill (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

#2640.  Priebus Is Fuckin' White (Jesus Is Just Alright --- Doobie Brothers)

#2641.  Priebus (Jesus --- Velvet Underground)

#2642.  He'll Defend Donald Reince Priebus (What A Friend We Have In Jesus --- Alan Jackson)

#2643.  Priebus Cuming From A Stormy Wet Dream (Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam --- Nirvana)

#2644.  Rubio (I Don't Know --- Beastie Boys)

#2645.  Cao (Pow --- Beastie Boys)

#2646.  Kamala (Shambala --- Beastie Boys)

#2647.  Priebus Is Red (Jesus Is Dead --- The Exploited)

#2648.  Usha Vance (In A Trance --- Malcolm Todd)

#2649.  Donald's Jism (Aneurysm --- Nirvana)

#2650.  Rubio (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2651.  Mark Green (Irene --- Grateful Dead)

#2652.  Cheatle Is A Fuckin' Cunt (Needle And The Damage Done --- Neil Young)

#2653.  Kimberly Cheatle (Everyday People --- Sly & The Family Stone)

#2654.  Timmy (Timmy --- South Park)

#2655.  Tim Burchett's Dick (Is Not Long) (Don't Forget Me: When I'm Gone --- Glass Tiger)

#2656.  Donald's Dumpin' (Gets Ya Pumpin' --- Bob Seger)

#2657.  J.D. Vance (Army Ants --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2658.  Vance, Motherfucker, Vance! (Dance, Motherfucker, Dance! --- Violent Femmes)

#2659.  J.D. Vance (And We Danced --- The Hooters)

#2660.  Bitch Forty-Five (Switch 625 --- Def Leppard)

#2661.  Trumpin', Dumpin', Feedin' (Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' --- Journey)

#2662.  Nancy Mace (Off My Face --- Justin Bieber)

#2663.  The Trump Towers (The Small Hours --- Metallica)

#2664.  News Faker (Jawbreaker --- Judas Priest)

#2665.  The V.P. Vance (The Safety Dance --- Men Without Hats)

#2666.  Heap (Creep --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2667.  Heap (Creep --- Radiohead)

#2668.  Make America Great Again (Make America Great Again --- Brian Kelley)

#2669. 'Merican Nation (Terrapin Station --- Grateful Dead)

#2670.  Stormy's Chest Is Plastic On Fake News (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John) 

#2671.  Senator Vance (Shut Up And Dance --- Walk The Moon)

#2672.  America (Hysteria --- Def Leppard)

#2673.  Steele (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2674.  Shitshow Paula Stark (Rainbow In The Dark --- Dio)

#2675.  Paula A. Stark (Shot In The Dark --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2676.  David Shoar (He's A Whore --- Cheap Trick)

#2677.  Tim Walz (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#2678.  Trump Fucks You (I Thank You --- Bonnie Raitt)

#2679.  Big Lies And Adin Ross (Behind The Crooked Cross --- Slayer)

#2680.  Priebus (Jesus -- Phil Thompson)

#2681.  The Big Lie (Frizzle Fry --- Primus)

#2682.  Michelle Morrow (Broken Arrow --- Grateful Dead)

#2683.  The Orange Prolapse Stain (The Last Waltz Refrain --- The Band)

#2684.  Roger Stone (I Alone --- Live)

#2685.  Orange Prolapse Stain (Hamburger Train --- Primus)

#2686.  We'll Sever Donald's Bone (You'll Never Walk Alone --- Liverpool Anthem)

#2687.  Tim Walz Inspires (Great Balls Of Fire --- Chris Isaak)

#2688.  Donald's Fat (My Friend Fats --- Primus)

#2689.  Paula Allene Stark (Lurking In The Dark --- King Diamond)

#2690.  Priebus Stop The Steal (Jesus Take The Wheel --- Carrie Underwood)

#2691.  Kennedy Is Old (Ecstasy Of Gold --- Metallica)

#2692.  Spartz (Hearts --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2693.  Kremer (Dreamer --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2694.  Robert F. Kennedy (Don't Be my Enemy --- Wang Chung)

#2695.  Far-Out Liz Murrill (About A Girl --- Nirvana)

#2696.  Gabbard (Shattered --- Rolling Stones)

Please do not share this material with Tulsi Gabbard and/or former President Donald J. Trump.