#1430. Mitch McConnell

Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell has a net worth of roughly $150 million.  

I don't normally recommend cosmetic procedures for men.  But maybe it's time to consider a facelift. 

Or at the very least, some kind of "anti-chin-tuck."

Mitch currently resides in a sprawling 13,000-square-foot luxury mansion located in Louisville, Kentucky.  His home comes with the following luxury features and amenities:

• High End Kitchen
• Home Theater
• Tennis Court
• Wine Cellar
• 20-Seater Dining Room
• 3 Swimming Pools
• 10 Bedrooms
• 12 Bathrooms
• Yoga Studio
• Bowling Alley

Not sure if I like the idea of Mitch doing yoga.  Or engaging in any form of physical exercise for that matter whatsoever.

However, the one thing missing from the vast McConnell estate... is a farm.  

So I decided to unilaterally correct this alarming discrepancy.  Herewith, all hail farmer Mitch!

 

 

Mitch McConnell
sonofsaf

Mitch McConnell had a farm
GOP Old Crow
And on his farm he had some Jews
GOP Old Crow
With a Jared here
And a Kushner there
Here a Jew, there a Jew
Everywhere a Jew Jew

Mitch McConnell had a farm
GOP Old Crow
Mitch McConnell has done harm
GOP Old Crow

And on his farm he sucked some dicks
GOP Old Crow
With a suck-suck here
And a fuck-fuck there
Here a suck, there a fuck
Everywhere a suck-fuck

Mitch McConnell had a farm
GOP Old Crow
Mitch McConnell has done harm
GOP Old Crow

And on his farm a drilling rig
GOP Old Crow
With a frack-frack here
And a ball sack there
Here an frack, there a sack
Everywhere a frack sack
Mitch McConnell has done harm
GOP Old Crow

 

Old MacDonald
Unknown

Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o
And on his farm he had some cows
Ee i ee i oh
With a moo-moo here
And a moo-moo there
Here a moo, there a moo
Everywhere a moo-moo

Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o

And on his farm he had some chicks
Ee i ee i o
With a cluck-cluck here
And a cluck-cluck there
Here a cluck, there a cluck
Everywhere a cluck-cluck

Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o

And on his farm he had some pigs
Ee i ee i o
With an oink-oink here
And an oink-oink there
Here an oink, there an oink
Everywhere an oink-oink
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o

This is one of the better nursery rhymes all-time.  Really lends itself to a rousing sing-a-long.  

In an ideal world, I'd like to see Nancy Pelosi teaching my version to her extensive brood of grandchildren.

The "Mitch is a Bitch" Top 10:

#29.  Burn The Mitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#30.  Treason Of The Mitch (Season Of The Witch --- Robert Plant)

#31.  The Mitch Is Back (The Bitch Is Back --- Elton John) 

#33.  Mitchy Lookin' (Witchy Woman --- Eagles)

#169.  Chao (Shout --- Tears For Fears)

#422.  Mitch (Bitch --- Rolling Stones)

#462.  Lazy Mitch (Crazy Bitch --- Buckcherry)

#507.  Kentucky (Get Lucky --- Daft Punk)

#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)

#1430.  Old MacDonald (Mitch McConnell --- Unknown)

The Big Lie 100: (#605)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)

 

#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

 

#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)

 

#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)

 

#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)

 

#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)

 

#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) --- (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)

 

#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)

 

#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)

Please do not share this material with Mitch McConnell and/or former President Donald J. Trump.