Gotta love the new twitter handle @grocerieswegner.
Shit like that almost makes me reconsider my aversion to twitter. Almost.
Regardless, in my mind, the entire crudite vs. veggie tray throwdown is the best political jab moment since I can't remember. Seriously, it's up there with Lloyd Benson and Dan Quayle back in '88 - "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."
But this one just has so many more angles. It's the shit that keeps on giving. 'Dat shit is timeless. Speaking of shit, and in lieu of rambling on and on, here are today's latest "Trump Dumps."
 | |||
| Spotted outside a relatively new restaurant... "The Eagle" on Penn Ave. In the heart of the Theatre District no less. Most likely doggie defecation. Although I can't entirely rule out the possibility of human excrement. Extra! Extra! Some in the background! | |
 |
| Point State Park, in the loop area just before the Ft. Duquesne bridge. A very unusual, three dimensional, prominent block of triangulated shit. Never seen anything like it. Wouldn't rule out the possibility of a random bear, pig man, Bigfoot, distant relative of Andre the Giant, or a determined German Shepherd. |
Newsflash: I've entered into a new phase. In the future I will be shifting my focus to an increasingly shitty, more turd-oriented premise... to properly honor last night's campaign appearances of Ron DeSanSHIT and Doug ASStriano. Starting tomorrow, all new flags will simply read... #TrumpDump.
Let's Go! Let's Go!
Crudite
sonofsaf
Pennsylvania’s not in play
Oz likes the crudite
Pennsylvania’s not in play
Oz likes his crudite
Campaign was never to be won
The big lie is dumb
Pennsylvania’s not in play
Oz likes his crudite
Pennsylvania’s not in play
Oz like the crudite
Pennsylvania’s not in play
Oz likes his crudite
Campaign is tougher when you’re scum
Has homes near and far
Pennsylvania’s not in play
Oz likes his crudite
Holiday
Scorpions
Let me take you far away
You'd like a holiday
Let me take you far away
You'd like a holiday
Exchange the cold days for the sun
A good time and fun
Let me take you far away
You'd like a holiday
Let me take you far away
You'd like a holiday
Let me take you far away
You'd like a holiday
Exchange your troubles for some love
Wherever you are
Let me take you far away
You'd like a holiday
Great ballad. World Wide Live baby!
My least favorite Scorpions song might just be The Zoo. Overplayed.
Oh yeah, and Rock You Like A Hurricane. I've heard that tune to the point of utter exhaustion.
Scorpions:
9-21-88, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH
6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
6-23-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH
6-15-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Big Lie 100: (#585)
#1301. Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)
#1302. Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)
#1303. Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)
#1304. Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)#1305. Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)
#1306. Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)
#1307. Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)
#1308. Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)
#1309. Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)
#1310. The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1311. Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
#1312. Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)
#1313. Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)
#1314. McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)
#1315. Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1316. Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)
#1317. Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)
#1318. Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)
#1319. Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)
#1320. Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)
#1321. The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)
#1322. Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)
#1323. Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)
#1324. Huckabee (Faithfully --- Journey)
#1325. Herschel Walker (I'm A Rocker --- Judas Priest)
#1326. Hern's The Fuck To Blame (Burning Like A Flame --- Dokken)
#1328. Donald Trump's A Piece Of Shit (I'm A Little Rocket Ship --- Cracker)
#1329. Kelley Rat (Smelly Cat --- Phoebe Buffay)
#1330. He's Mark Green (I'm Eighteen --- Alice Cooper)
#1331. Nunn Is So Gay (One Of These Days --- Pink Floyd)
#1332. Nunn (One --- Three Dog Night)
#1333. Donald Trump Is Fucking Gay (Living In The U.S.A. --- Steve Miller)
#1334. Nunn (One --- Metallica)
#1335. Cline (Time --- Alan Parsons Project)
#1336. Hal Rogers, Fat Fuck (Like Father, Like Son --- Exodus)
#1337. Huckabee (Suddenly --- Bee Gees)
#1338. Face Mullin (Space Truckin' --- Deep Purple)
#1339. He's Jim Pillen (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)
#1340. Steve Bannon (Rhiannon --- Fleetwood Mac)
#1341. Janae Is A Shamp (Lady Is A Tramp --- Tony Bennett)
#1342. Scott Perry Will Fuck You (The Very Thought Of You --- Rod Stewart)
#1343. Scantlebury Suicide (Mandatory Suicide --- Slayer)
#1344. Yost Is Toast (Coast to Coast --- Scorpions)
#1345. Masters (Bastard --- Motley Crue)
#1346. Mark Lamb (Burndt Jamb --- Weezer)
#1347. Ivanka! (Ah! Leah! --- Donnie Iris)
#1348. Herschel's Pain (Purple Rain --- Prince)
#1349. You God Damn Jew (Suite Madame Blue --- Styx)
#1350. Lake Will Not Deliver (Take Me To The River --- Grateful Dead)
#1351. Lake's A Fucking Cunt (Take It On The Run --- REO Speedwagon)
#1352. Jew (You --- Radiohead)
#1353. Hair Hair (There There --- Radiohead)
#1354. Trump Is King Critical Race (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)
#1355. Russell Fry (High & Dry --- Radiohead)
#1356. Lindell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)
#1357. Scantlebury (Morning Glory --- Oasis)
#1358. Daniel Cox (Cleveland Rocks --- Presidents Of The United States Of America)
#1359. Cornyn Has Lied (Thorn In My Pride --- Black Crowes)
#1360. Blake Will Fuck You (Take Me With U --- Prince)
#1361. Tim Walberg (Jitterbug --- Charlie Daniels Band)
#1362. Donald Trump's A Fucking Whore (25 or 6 to 4 --- Chicago)
#1363. Mike Lindell (Rebel Yell --- Billy Idol)
#1364. Dan Cox Wants Anal (She Talks To Angels --- Black Crowes)
#1365. DeWine (Outshined --- Soundgarden)
#1366. Lotter (Daughter --- Pearl Jam)
#1367. Fry Is A Whore (Die By The Sword --- Slayer)
#1368. Meet Mike DeWine (Sweet Child 'O Mine --- Guns'n'Roses)
#1369. Gaetz Is A Freak (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)
#1370. Tudor (Shooter --- Waylon Jennings)
#1371. Donahue (Black and Blue --- Van Halen)
#1372. He's Eli Crane (I Can't Explain --- The Who)
#1373. Crane (Rain --- The Beatles)
#1380. Rusty Bowers (April Showers --- King's X)
#1381. Lake's An Ass (Take It Back --- Pink Floyd)
#1382. Schmitt Show (Sit There --- Crumbsuckers)
#1383. Diehl Is Gay (Steal Away --- Robbie Dupree)
#1384. Richard Mack's Whiter (Paperback Writer --- The Beatles)
#1385. Geoff Diehl (Bone Meal --- GWAR)
#1386. Diehl Is Gay (Steal Away --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1387. Adam Steen (Dancing Queen --- ABBA)
#1388. David Farnsworth (For What It's Worth --- Buffalo Springfield)
#1389. Finchum Is Scum (Kingdom Of Come --- Soundgarden)
#1390. Ted Cruz Is A Clown (Bad News Comes To Town --- Neil Young)
#1391. Emmer Bites (Tremor Christ --- Pearl Jam)
#1392. R. Kleefisch Is A Retard (When You Wish Upon A Star --- Olivia Newton-John)
#1393. Trump's A Clown (All Right Now --- Free)
#1394. Levy (Easy --- The Commodores)
#1395. Chuck Gray (Birthday --- The Beatles)
#1396. Fucking You Is Eli Crane (Rock You Like A Hurricane --- Scorpions)
#1397. Liar Testify (Fire In The Sky --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1398. Human Clown (Allentown --- Billy Joel)
#1399. Not A Winner (TV Dinners --- ZZ Top)
#1400. White Liar Sick Liar (Fight Fire With Fire --- Metallica)
#1401. Troy E. Nehls (Silver Bells --- John Denver)
#1402. Troy E. Nehls (Jingle Bells -- Frank Sinatra)
#1403. Nehls (Hell --- Foo Fighters
#1404. Troy Nehls (Peace Sells --- Megadeth)
#1405. Levy Lied (Easy Ride --- The Doors)
#1406. He's A Jew (Sad But True --- Metallica)
#1407. Crudite Night Is So Delighting (Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting --- Elton John)
#1408. Crudite (Holiday --- Madonna)
#1409. Crudite (Holiday --- Scorpions)
Please do not share this material with Mehmet Oz and/or former President Donald J. Trump.
No comments:
Post a Comment