Samuel Graves was elected to Congress back in 2001 as a Republican. His District in rural Missouri is overwhelmingly red. So he'll likely be in office for the rest of his life. Unless he resigns or unexpectedly dies.
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| Aboard Air Force One, eh? These two don't look terribly comfortable together. Trump turning a peculiar shade of burnt siena. Matching the shade of his desk I suppose. |
Vastly more amusing is the Missouri race for U.S. Senate where the Orange Prolapse just endorsed 2 individuals with the same name, my name, ERIC. Eric Greitens (former Governor) and Eric Schmidt (state attorney general).
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| Both Erics fight for the approval of a fat slob (center). |
Seriously, you can't even make this shit up.
So bad. Purposely not clarifying. Even by Trump standards.
Naturally, both of the Erics immediately started claiming credit for the deliberately ambiguous endorsement. And topping it off, there's actually a third Eric in the race. Unknown Missouri resident Eric McElroy.
At 52, I've always liked my name Eric. Until today. Now, from this day forth, it will essentially be a source of shame and embarrassment.
Samuel Graves
sonofsaf
America first, the MAGA boss
Missouri get your salad tossed
A tiny bone for all to see
Inflicting misery
Whore of a wife loves dildo glass
She wants it blown up her own ass
Helluva girl we’re gonna pray
Her asshole’s bored, it’s time to play
Samuel Graves, daughter Megan raped
His daughter’s period is late
Abortion’s not okay
V.D. infect disease you trust
God damn gonorrhea can lead to crust
Protect the presidency
But Donald Trump’s butt’s the enemy
MAGA they cried and still he lies
To confiscate McDonald’s fries
A Big Mac sheer dependency
Incredible the travesty
Samuel Graves, I know he’s gay
The wait for girls had gotten old
Wet dreams are not a lay
Samuel Graves, voting decays
The show-me-state is fake like you
November 8th’s the day
Jesus Saves
Slayer
You go to the church, you kiss the cross
You will be saved at any cost
You have your own reality
Christianity
You spend your life just kissing ass
A trait that's grown as time has passed
You think the world will end today
You praise the Lord, it's all you say
Jesus saves, listen to you pray
You think you'll see the pearly gates
When death takes you away
For all respect you cannot lust
In an invisible man you place your trust
Indirect dependency
Eternal attempt at amnesty
He will decide who lives and dies
Depopulate Satanas rise
You will be an accessory
Irreverence and blasphemy
Jesus saves, no need to pray
The gates of pearl have turned to gold
It seems you've lost your way
Jesus saves, no words of praise
No promised land to take you to
There is no other way
Slayer:
11-17-88, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH
10-26-03, Rostraver Ice Garden, Belle Vernon, PA
8-28-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-31-07, Time Warner Cable Amphitheater, Cleveland, OH
8-1-09, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
11-20-13, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
7-8-15, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-15-16, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
The Big Lie 100: (#554)
#1301. Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)
#1302. Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)
#1303. Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)
#1304. Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)#1305. Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)
#1306. Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)
#1307. Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)
#1308. Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)
#1309. Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)
#1310. The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1311. Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
#1312. Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)
#1313. Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)
#1314. McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)
#1315. Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1316. Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)
#1317. Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)
#1318. Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)
#1319. Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)
#1320. Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)
#1321. The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)
#1322. Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)
#1323. Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)
#1324. Huckabee (Faithfully --- Journey)
#1325. Herschel Walker (I'm A Rocker --- Judas Priest)
#1326. Hern's The Fuck To Blame (Burning Like A Flame --- Dokken)
#1328. Donald Trump's A Piece Of Shit (I'm A Little Rocket Ship --- Cracker)
#1329. Kelley Rat (Smelly Cat --- Phoebe Buffay)
#1330. He's Mark Green (I'm Eighteen --- Alice Cooper)
#1331. Nunn Is So Gay (One Of These Days --- Pink Floyd)
#1332. Nunn (One --- Three Dog Night)
#1333. Donald Trump Is Fucking Gay (Living In The U.S.A. --- Steve Miller)
#1334. Nunn (One --- Metallica)
#1335. Cline (Time --- Alan Parsons Project)
#1336. Hal Rogers, Fat Fuck (Like Father, Like Son --- Exodus)
#1337. Huckabee (Suddenly --- Bee Gees)
#1338. Face Mullin (Space Truckin' --- Deep Purple)
#1339. He's Jim Pillen (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)
#1340. Steve Bannon (Rhiannon --- Fleetwood Mac)
#1341. Janae Is A Shamp (Lady Is A Tramp --- Tony Bennett)
#1342. Scott Perry Will Fuck You (The Very Thought Of You --- Rod Stewart)
#1343. Scantlebury Suicide (Mandatory Suicide --- Slayer)
#1344. Yost Is Toast (Coast to Coast --- Scorpions)
#1345. Masters (Bastard --- Motley Crue)
#1346. Mark Lamb (Burndt Jamb --- Weezer)
#1347. Ivanka! (Ah! Leah! --- Donnie Iris)
#1348. Herschel's Pain (Purple Rain --- Prince)
#1349. You God Damn Jew (Suite Madame Blue --- Styx)
#1350. Lake Will Not Deliver (Take Me To The River --- Grateful Dead)
#1351. Lake's A Fucking Cunt (Take It On The Run --- REO Speedwagon)
#1352. Jew (You --- Radiohead)
#1353. Hair Hair (There There --- Radiohead)
#1354. Trump Is King Critical Race (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)
#1355. Russell Fry (High & Dry --- Radiohead)
#1356. Lindell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)
#1357. Scantlebury (Morning Glory --- Oasis)
#1358. Daniel Cox (Cleveland Rocks --- Presidents Of The United States Of America)
#1359. Cornyn Has Lied (Thorn In My Pride --- Black Crowes)
#1360. Blake Will Fuck You (Take Me With U --- Prince)
#1361. Tim Walberg (Jitterbug --- Charlie Daniels Band)
#1362. Donald Trump's A Fucking Whore (25 or 6 to 4 --- Chicago)
#1363. Mike Lindell (Rebel Yell --- Billy Idol)
#1364. Dan Cox Wants Anal (She Talks To Angels --- Black Crowes)
#1365. DeWine (Outshined --- Soundgarden)
#1366. Lotter (Daughter --- Pearl Jam)
#1367. Fry Is A Whore (Die By The Sword --- Slayer)
#1368. Meet Mike DeWine (Sweet Child 'O Mine --- Guns'n'Roses)
#1369. Gaetz Is A Freak (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)
#1370. Tudor (Shooter --- Waylon Jennings)
#1371. Donahue (Black and Blue --- Van Halen)
#1372. He's Eli Crane (I Can't Explain --- The Who)
#1373. Crane (Rain --- The Beatles)
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