Monday, August 01, 2022

#1375. Crane

The Orange Prolapse endorsed Eli Crane in Arizona's 2nd Congressional District.  

Sporting an obligatory "We the People" tattoo.  How cool is that!  Tangible evidence that he truly loves America.

Having built a successful "militarized bottle opener" website, Crane has basically become the "MAGA My Pillow" guy of the southwest.  He also hocks overpriced t-shirts, ball caps, coozies, etc.

A good question to ask this former veteran... Eli, in the wake of the recent Uvalde school massacre and endless string of mass shootings on American soil, do you feel any sense of guilt or remorse having profited from peddling anything bullet inspired, gun related, and killing-infused?



 

Crane
sonofsaf

Well he always feeds and McDonald’s sucks
And he always needs Viagra to fuck
Well he never cedes it’s his MAGA cause
He’s a fat ass creep needs Viagra to fuck, yeah

Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane

Well he always feeds and McDonald’s sucks
And he always needs Viagra to fuck
Well he never cedes it’s his MAGA cause
He’s a fat ass creep needs Viagra to fuck, yeah

Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane

Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane

Well he always feeds and McDonald’s sucks
And he always needs Viagra to fuck
Well he never cedes it’s his MAGA cause
He’s a fat ass creep needs Viagra to fuck, yeah

Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane
Eli Crane

 

Stain
Nirvana

Well he never bleeds and he never fucks
And he never leaves cause he's got bad luck
Well he never reads and he never draws
And he never sleeps cause he's got bad luck, yeah

I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain

Well he never bleeds and he never fucks
And he never leaves cause he's got bad luck
Well he never reads and he never draws
And he never sleeps cause he's got bad luck, yeah

I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain

I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain

Well he never bleeds and he never fucks
And he never leaves cause he's got bad luck
Well he never reads and he never draws
And he never sleeps cause he's got bad luck, yeah

I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain
I'm a stain


 

Nirvana played the Burgh just twice.  Once in 1989 at the Sonic Temple in Wilkinsburg.  The other time in 1991 at The Graffiti in Oakland.  Didn't see 'em.


The Big Lie 100: (#551)

#1301.  Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)

#1302.  Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)

#1303.  Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)

#1304.  Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)

#1305.  Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)

#1306.  Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)

#1307.  Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1308.  Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)

#1309.  Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)

#1310.  The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1311.  Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1312.  Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)

#1313.  Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)

#1314.  McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)

#1315.  Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1316.  Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)

#1317.  Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)

#1318.  Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1320.  Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)

#1321.  The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)

#1322.  Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#1323.  Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)

#1324.  Huckabee (Faithfully --- Journey)

#1325.  Herschel Walker (I'm A Rocker --- Judas Priest)

#1326.  Hern's The Fuck To Blame (Burning Like A Flame --- Dokken)

#1328.  Donald Trump's A Piece Of Shit (I'm A Little Rocket Ship --- Cracker)

#1329.  Kelley Rat (Smelly Cat --- Phoebe Buffay)

#1330.  He's Mark Green (I'm Eighteen --- Alice Cooper)

#1331.  Nunn Is So Gay (One Of These Days --- Pink Floyd)

#1332.  Nunn (One --- Three Dog Night)

#1333.  Donald Trump Is Fucking Gay (Living In The U.S.A. --- Steve Miller)

#1334.  Nunn (One --- Metallica)

#1335.  Cline (Time --- Alan Parsons Project)

#1336.  Hal Rogers, Fat Fuck (Like Father, Like Son --- Exodus)

#1337.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Bee Gees)

#1338.  Face Mullin (Space Truckin' --- Deep Purple)

#1339.  He's Jim Pillen (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1340.  Steve Bannon (Rhiannon --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1341.  Janae Is A Shamp (Lady Is A Tramp --- Tony Bennett)

#1342.  Scott Perry Will Fuck You (The Very Thought Of You --- Rod Stewart)

#1343.  Scantlebury Suicide (Mandatory Suicide --- Slayer)

#1344.  Yost Is Toast (Coast to Coast --- Scorpions)

#1345.  Masters (Bastard --- Motley Crue)

#1346.  Mark Lamb (Burndt Jamb --- Weezer)

#1347.  Ivanka!  (Ah! Leah! --- Donnie Iris)

#1348.  Herschel's Pain (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1349.  You God Damn Jew (Suite Madame Blue --- Styx)

#1350.  Lake Will Not Deliver (Take Me To The River --- Grateful Dead)

#1351.  Lake's A Fucking Cunt (Take It On The Run --- REO Speedwagon)

#1352.  Jew (You --- Radiohead)

#1353.  Hair Hair (There There --- Radiohead)

#1354.  Trump Is King Critical Race (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1355.  Russell Fry (High & Dry --- Radiohead)

#1356.  Lindell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1357.  Scantlebury (Morning Glory --- Oasis)

#1358.  Daniel Cox (Cleveland Rocks --- Presidents Of The United States Of America)

#1359.  Cornyn Has Lied (Thorn In My Pride --- Black Crowes)

#1360.  Blake Will Fuck You (Take Me With U --- Prince) 

#1361.  Tim Walberg (Jitterbug --- Charlie Daniels Band)

#1362.  Donald Trump's A Fucking Whore (25 or 6 to 4 --- Chicago)

#1363.  Mike Lindell (Rebel Yell --- Billy Idol)

#1364.  Dan Cox Wants Anal (She Talks To Angels --- Black Crowes)

#1365.  DeWine (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

#1366.  Lotter (Daughter --- Pearl Jam)

#1367.  Fry Is A Whore (Die By The Sword --- Slayer)

#1368.  Meet Mike DeWine (Sweet Child 'O Mine --- Guns'n'Roses)

#1369.  Gaetz Is A Freak (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1370.  Tudor (Shooter --- Waylon Jennings)

#1371.  Donahue (Black and Blue --- Van Halen) 

#1372.  He's Eli Crane (I Can't Explain --- The Who)

#1373.  Crane (Rain --- The Beatles)

#1374.  Gibbs Fucked America (Kids In America --- Kim Wilde)
 
#1375.  Crane (Stain --- Nirvana)
 

 
Please do not share this material with Eli Crane and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

 



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