In the upcoming debate for Pennsylvania U.S. Senate, I think John Fetterman should look at Mehmet Oz and say...
Hey, my opponent and I do agree on something. And that's the problem of inflation. The big ones are rent, gas, and food. And I know were not supposed to directly address the opposing candidate, but I'd like to know if my opponent actually bought the crudite. I think Pennsylvania voters here in the commonwealth deserve a simple yes or no. I don't think that's asking too much. Hey, it's an easy question. Either you bought the stuff for your wife or you didn't.
After all, my opponent who's estimated net worth is over 100 million, seemed very passionate about the soaring cost of vegetables and condimments. So Dr. Oz, did you buy the crudite? Yes or no? Because I gotta be honest, I don't think you did. I think the fact that you didn't have a basket or cart strikes me as a little disingenuous. Also, the specific items you pulled from the shelf seemed a bit, shall we say, curious. That was a lot of carrots.
My point: If you can't handle a simple question like that, how on earth can you tackle the more existential issues of our time... climate, women's healthcare and reproductive freedom, gun violence, and so on and so forth. So, if you can look into the camera and unambiguously answer this question, you have my word that I will cease from raising the whole crudite / veggie tray fiasco from this point forward.
Crudite Night Is So Delighting
sonofsaf
Election is great, in the PA state
Doc Oz has homes both far and near
But here in Braddock John Fetterman rocks
Gisele’s Free Store is nothin’ to fear
The Trump train’s a clunker with some horrible flunkies
McDonald’s maybe dinner fare
Ivanka’s a Jew and Gingrich is a Newt
I wonder why they cause despair
Oh, don't give us none of your medication
Your diet pills are full of shit
Oh, crudite night is so delighting
Tequila is a-kickin in
Jumpin’ on and off aboard the Donald train
Do you know he’s orange not white
'Cause Crudite night’s the night I bite
Crudite night he’ll bite, he’ll bite, he’ll bite, you
Oz loves I.C. Light and the Steelers right?
Cheese steaking with the Philly Eagles tonight
Oz loves Big Pharma but not some legalized weed
A marital little stink there’s no doubt, "Stormy D!”
McDonald’s adds the pounds every Big Mac bite
The pounds are not so great ‘cause he’s not outta site
Trump’s a stupid piece of shit and a total ass
Who’s often better known as the Orange Prolapse
Oh, don't give us none of your medication
Your diet pills are full of shit
Oh, crudite night is so delighting
Tequila is a-kickin in
Jumpin’ on and off aboard the Donald train
Do you know he’s orange not white
'Cause Crudite night’s the night I bite
Crudite night he’ll bite, he’ll bite, he’ll bite, you
Oh, don't give us none of your medication
Your diet pills are full of shit
Oh, crudite night is so delighting
Tequila is a-kickin in
Jumpin’ on and off aboard the Donald train
Do you know he’s orange not white
'Cause Crudite night’s the night I bite
Crudite night he’ll bite, he’ll bite, he’ll bite, you
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite!
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite!
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite! Oz will bite
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite!
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite!
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite! Oz will bite
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite!
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite!
Crudite! Crudite! Crudite Oz will bite, you
Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting
Elton John
It's getting late, have you seen my mates?
Ma, tell me when the boys get here
It's seven o'clock and I wanna rock
Wanna get a belly full of beer
My old man's drunker than a barrel full of monkeys
And my old lady, she don't care
My sister looks cute in her braces and boots
A handful of grease in her hair
Oh, don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Oh, Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in
Get about as oiled as a diesel train
Gonna set this dance alight
'Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright, alright, alright, ooh
Well, they're packed pretty tight in here tonight
I'm looking for a dolly who'll see me right
I may use a little muscle to get what I need
I may sink a little drink and shout out, "She's with me!"
A couple of the sounds that I really like
Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike
I'm a juvenile product of the working class
Whose best friend floats in the bottom of a glass
Oh, don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in
Get about as oiled as a diesel train
Gonna set this dance alight
'Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright, alright, alright, ooh
Oh, don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
'Cause Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in
Get about as oiled as a diesel train
Gonna set this dance alight
'Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright, alright, alright, ooh
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday night's alright
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday night's alright
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday night's alright, whoo
Since 1973, Elton John has played the Burgh a grand total of 15 times. He makes his triumphant and final return to PNC Park on September 16, 2022.
This tour, he closes the show with "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting." I checked the set list. As expected, every song smokes. But it's kinda ironic that such a great closer is preceded by "Crocodile Rock." One of the worst and possibly dumbest songs in the history of mankind. Although it does make for a good opportunity to take a late piss break while every person in the venue over the age of 50... does their zany super terrific happy dance. So there's that angle.
Elton John:
Elton John, 6-11-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
Elton John, 3-23-11, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
Elton John, 9-18-12, Wesbanco Arena, Wheeling, WV
Elton John, 10-10-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Big Lie 100: (#583)
#1301. Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)
#1302. Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)
#1303. Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)
#1304. Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)#1305. Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)
#1306. Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)
#1307. Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)
#1308. Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)
#1309. Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)
#1310. The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1311. Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
#1312. Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)
#1313. Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)
#1314. McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)
#1315. Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1316. Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)
#1317. Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)
#1318. Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)
#1319. Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)
#1320. Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)
#1321. The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)
#1322. Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)
#1323. Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)
#1324. Huckabee (Faithfully --- Journey)
#1325. Herschel Walker (I'm A Rocker --- Judas Priest)
#1326. Hern's The Fuck To Blame (Burning Like A Flame --- Dokken)
#1328. Donald Trump's A Piece Of Shit (I'm A Little Rocket Ship --- Cracker)
#1329. Kelley Rat (Smelly Cat --- Phoebe Buffay)
#1330. He's Mark Green (I'm Eighteen --- Alice Cooper)
#1331. Nunn Is So Gay (One Of These Days --- Pink Floyd)
#1332. Nunn (One --- Three Dog Night)
#1333. Donald Trump Is Fucking Gay (Living In The U.S.A. --- Steve Miller)
#1334. Nunn (One --- Metallica)
#1335. Cline (Time --- Alan Parsons Project)
#1336. Hal Rogers, Fat Fuck (Like Father, Like Son --- Exodus)
#1337. Huckabee (Suddenly --- Bee Gees)
#1338. Face Mullin (Space Truckin' --- Deep Purple)
#1339. He's Jim Pillen (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)
#1340. Steve Bannon (Rhiannon --- Fleetwood Mac)
#1341. Janae Is A Shamp (Lady Is A Tramp --- Tony Bennett)
#1342. Scott Perry Will Fuck You (The Very Thought Of You --- Rod Stewart)
#1343. Scantlebury Suicide (Mandatory Suicide --- Slayer)
#1344. Yost Is Toast (Coast to Coast --- Scorpions)
#1345. Masters (Bastard --- Motley Crue)
#1346. Mark Lamb (Burndt Jamb --- Weezer)
#1347. Ivanka! (Ah! Leah! --- Donnie Iris)
#1348. Herschel's Pain (Purple Rain --- Prince)
#1349. You God Damn Jew (Suite Madame Blue --- Styx)
#1350. Lake Will Not Deliver (Take Me To The River --- Grateful Dead)
#1351. Lake's A Fucking Cunt (Take It On The Run --- REO Speedwagon)
#1352. Jew (You --- Radiohead)
#1353. Hair Hair (There There --- Radiohead)
#1354. Trump Is King Critical Race (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)
#1355. Russell Fry (High & Dry --- Radiohead)
#1356. Lindell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)
#1357. Scantlebury (Morning Glory --- Oasis)
#1358. Daniel Cox (Cleveland Rocks --- Presidents Of The United States Of America)
#1359. Cornyn Has Lied (Thorn In My Pride --- Black Crowes)
#1360. Blake Will Fuck You (Take Me With U --- Prince)
#1361. Tim Walberg (Jitterbug --- Charlie Daniels Band)
#1362. Donald Trump's A Fucking Whore (25 or 6 to 4 --- Chicago)
#1363. Mike Lindell (Rebel Yell --- Billy Idol)
#1364. Dan Cox Wants Anal (She Talks To Angels --- Black Crowes)
#1365. DeWine (Outshined --- Soundgarden)
#1366. Lotter (Daughter --- Pearl Jam)
#1367. Fry Is A Whore (Die By The Sword --- Slayer)
#1368. Meet Mike DeWine (Sweet Child 'O Mine --- Guns'n'Roses)
#1369. Gaetz Is A Freak (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)
#1370. Tudor (Shooter --- Waylon Jennings)
#1371. Donahue (Black and Blue --- Van Halen)
#1372. He's Eli Crane (I Can't Explain --- The Who)
#1373. Crane (Rain --- The Beatles)
#1380. Rusty Bowers (April Showers --- King's X)
#1381. Lake's An Ass (Take It Back --- Pink Floyd)
#1382. Schmitt Show (Sit There --- Crumbsuckers)
#1383. Diehl Is Gay (Steal Away --- Robbie Dupree)
#1384. Richard Mack's Whiter (Paperback Writer --- The Beatles)
#1385. Geoff Diehl (Bone Meal --- GWAR)
#1386. Diehl Is Gay (Steal Away --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1387. Adam Steen (Dancing Queen --- ABBA)
#1388. David Farnsworth (For What It's Worth --- Buffalo Springfield)
#1389. Finchum Is Scum (Kingdom Of Come --- Soundgarden)
#1390. Ted Cruz Is A Clown (Bad News Comes To Town --- Neil Young)
#1391. Emmer Bites (Tremor Christ --- Pearl Jam)
#1392. R. Kleefisch Is A Retard (When You Wish Upon A Star --- Olivia Newton-John)
#1393. Trump's A Clown (All Right Now --- Free)
#1394. Levy (Easy --- The Commodores)
#1395. Chuck Gray (Birthday --- The Beatles)
#1396. Fucking You Is Eli Crane (Rock You Like A Hurricane --- Scorpions)
#1397. Liar Testify (Fire In The Sky --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1398. Human Clown (Allentown --- Billy Joel)
#1399. Not A Winner (TV Dinners --- ZZ Top)
#1400. White Liar Sick Liar (Fight Fire With Fire --- Metallica)
#1401. Troy E. Nehls (Silver Bells --- John Denver)
#1402. Troy E. Nehls (Jingle Bells -- Frank Sinatra)
#1403. Nehls (Hell --- Foo Fighters
#1404. Troy Nehls (Peace Sells --- Megadeth)
#1405. Levy Lied (Easy Ride --- The Doors)
#1406. He's A Jew (Sad But True --- Metallica)
#1407. Crudite Night Is So Delighting (Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting --- Elton John)
Please do not share this material with Mehmet Oz and/or former President Donald J. Trump.
No comments:
Post a Comment