Thursday, October 07, 2021

#734. Kash


Young Indian-American dude, Bannon, Meadows, & Scavino.

The 1-6 Commission has started issuing subpoenas.

The major players... Steve Bannon, Mark Meadows, Dan Scavino are all fairly recognizable miscreants from the former Trump administration.  However, there's this one guy who visibly stands apart from the others.

Yup, it's Kashyup Patel, the Artist formerly known as Catsup... a/k/a "Kash."   

On his way out the door, the Orange Prolapse considered removing Gina Haspel and tried to appoint Kash as head of the CIA.  Hardly a menial position in the United States government.  But Trump failed to cash-in with Kash.  Considering his total lack of qualifications, the idea simply didn't go over well with even the most loyal of Trump sycophants.  Instead, Trump installed him Chief of Staff to the Acting Secretary of Defense Chris Miller.  Again, hardly a token job for a visually glazed, cross-eyed Hindu meth addict.

Anyway, the shitstorm has finally come full circle.  Kash will likely be facing some pretty significant legal bills.  And label me crazy, but I seriously doubt he'll be getting any financial assistance from Trump.

So I'd like to lend Kash a helping hand.  No, I won't be contributing to the Kash Patel legal defense fund. However, I do have an idea.

During the resurgence of Johnny Cash in the early 90's, a bunch of my musician friends bought t-shirts that simply stated... CASH.  This understated rock'n'roll garb was all the rage.

Now Trump still sends me about 5 text messages a day begging for money and selling various chachkis.  Trump flags, Trump doormats, Trump signed footballs.  And with the holiday season approaching, I'm guessing he'll once again be hawking Trumpy Christmas tree ornaments.  Hopefully figurines of Don Jr., Ivanka, Jared, and Barron.  Maybe even KellyAnne Conway, Sean Hannity, The My Pillow Fuck, etc.  Who knows?  

OK, allow me to be blunt.  Jesus Christ was a total loser.  He believed in antiquated nonsense like charity and forgiveness.  Worst of all, he'd turn the other cheek as opposed to fighting back.  So now, more than ever before, we need to celebrate the reason for the season and put the Trump back in Christmas with a very special Trump-like imposter angel tree topper.

Anyhoo, my advice for Kash --- simply follow in the footsteps of the Orange Prolapse.



Kashyup Petal

Start selling KASH t-shirts!  Hey, the market might be bigger than you think.  With India spawning a population of 1.36 billion and growing, there could be a lot of sympathy out there for the humiliated, discarded Patel.  Time to fuckin' kash in.

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