#774. Cars

What do Ted Nugent, Yngwie Malmsteen, Ronnie James Dio, members of Blue Öyster Cult, Dokken, Journey, Judas Priest, Mötley Crüe, Night Ranger, Queensrÿche, Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, W.A.S.P., Y&T, and even Spinal Tap... all have in common?

Back in 1984, on a fateful afternoon in Los Angeles, an eclectic group of rock and rollers came together and recorded "Stars."  'Twas the heavy metal equivalent of Band's Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas."  The idea was to sell a bunch of singles and use the proceeds to fight hunger and famine in Africa.  Although "Stars" was musically viable, it never really got off the ground.  Too long for radio airplay.  So it kinda became this obscure, cult hit.

My parody is a tribute to cars and used car dealers.  The lyrics and syllable progressions are spot-on.  Naturally, it would lend itself to any singer who wishes to showcase their range.  Plus, unlike the bulk of my other material, it's not deliberately offensive and explicitly vulgar.

 

Cars
sonofsaf

[Ronnie James Dio (Dio):]
Who drives a Toyota?
Brand new
[Dave Meniketti (Y&T):]
Sometimes it ain’t right
When a vehicle’s sold
[Ronnie James Dio:]
They are crooks they will lie and screw you
[Rob Halford (Judas Priest):]
They are jacking up the price
‘Cause they think you will fold
[Ronnie James Dio:]
They are fucking you, fucking you
Yeah
It is tragic it ain’t right
[Kevin DuBrow (Quiet Riot):]
It’s a low blow, in a fight
[Dave Meniketti:]
Chrysler New Yorkers never cry
[Chorus (vocal lead: Rob Halford):]
Used cars
Used cars
[Eric Bloom (Blue Oyster Cult):]
Dealers are wrong
They use gimmicks and loans
[Paul Shortino (Quiet Riot, Rough Cutt):]
And they all want to fuck your asshole
[Geoff Tate (Queensryche):]
So don’t play along
And do what you’re told
They are fucking you, fucking you
[Don Dokken (Dokken):]
I need more than a golf cart
Motorcycles make me shart
[Paul Shortino:]
New Yorkers have arrived
Yeah
[Chorus (vocal leads: Paul Shortino, Don Dokken, Ronnie James Dio, Geoff Tate):]
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars
[Guitar solos:]
1st solo: Craig Goldie/Eddie Ojeda
2nd solo: Vivian Campbell/Brad Gillis
3rd solo: Neal Schon/George Lynch
4th solo: Yngwie Malmsteen/Vivian Campbell
5th solo: George Lynch/Carlos Cavazo
6th solo: Brad Gillis/Craig Goldie/Donald "Buck Dharma" Roeser
[Kevin DuBrow:]
It is tragic it ain’t right
[Rob Halford:]
It’s a low blow in a fight
[Geoff Tate:]
Chrysler New Yorkers do not cry
[Chorus (vocal leads: Dave Meniketti, Eric Bloom, Rob Halford)]
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars, yeah
Used cars
It’s a low blow in a fight
Used cars
It is tragic it ain’t right
Used cars, oh yeah
Used cars
Used cars
It is tragic it ain’t right
Used cars
It’s a low blow in a fight
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars
It is tragic
Used cars
Used cars
I need more than a golf cart
Used cars
New Yorkers have arrived
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars
Used cars

 

Stars
Hear’n Aid

[Ronnie James Dio (Dio):]
Who cries for the children?
I do
[Dave Meniketti (Y&T):]
Some time in the night
When you're feeling the cold
[Ronnie James Dio:]
Take a look at the sky above you
[Rob Halford (Judas Priest):]
Those are faces in the light
If the story were told
[Ronnie James Dio:]
They are calling you, calling you
Yeah
We are magic in the night
[Kevin DuBrow (Quiet Riot):]
We are shadow, we are light
[Dave Meniketti:]
We are forever you and I
[Chorus (vocal lead: Rob Halford):]
We're stars
We're stars
[Eric Bloom (Blue Oyster Cult):]
We can be strong
We are fire and stone
[Paul Shortino (Quiet Riot, Rough Cutt):]
And we all want to touch a rainbow
[Geoff Tate (Queensryche):]
But singers and songs
Will never change it alone
We are calling you, calling you
[Don Dokken (Dokken):]
We're the beating of a heart
The beginning we're the start
[Paul Shortino:]
Forever we will shine
Yeah
[Chorus (vocal leads: Paul Shortino, Don Dokken, Ronnie James Dio, Geoff Tate):]
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars
[Guitar solos:]
1st solo: Craig Goldie/Eddie Ojeda
2nd solo: Vivian Campbell/Brad Gillis
3rd solo: Neal Schon/George Lynch
4th solo: Yngwie Malmsteen/Vivian Campbell
5th solo: George Lynch/Carlos Cavazo
6th solo: Brad Gillis/Craig Goldie/Donald "Buck Dharma" Roeser
[Kevin DuBrow:]
We are magic in the night
[Rob Halford:]
We are shadow, we are light
[Geoff Tate:]
We are forever you and I
[Chorus (vocal leads: Dave Meniketti, Eric Bloom, Rob Halford)]
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars, yeah
We're stars
We are shadow, we are light
We're stars
We are magic in the night
We're stars, oh yeah
We're stars
We're stars
We are magic in the night
We're stars
We are shadow, we are light
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars
We're the magic
We're stars
We're stars
We're the beating of a heart
We're stars
Forever we will shine
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars
We're stars

 

If you can't feel the overwhelming passion of Don Dokken at the 1:57 mark... you have no god damn soul.  Always liked Geoff Tate's off kilter vocals... we are calling you, calling you (mark 1:45).

I sincerely believe this parody has viral potential.

Please do not share this material with anyone who has ever purchased a used car.