Wednesday, October 20, 2021

#770. Fortenberry: The "F" Is For Federal

Looks like Congressman Jeff "Ford" Fortenberry (R-NE) is going the wrong way.  As in down.

Fortenberry (who ironically bears a slight resemblance to sugar cereal icon Frankenberry)...  

... is in the process of being indicted for receiving $30K in campaign contributions from Nigerian billionaire Gilbert Chagoury.  And then repeatedly lied about it to FBI investigators.  So stick a fork in Fort.  He's done.



Fortenberry: The "F" Is For Federal (as in Bureau of Investigation)



Bloody Mary: The "V" Is For Vegetable

V8 marketing department

Love me a decent Sunday morning bloody mary.  Although I'd skip the dash of lime juice and tabasco.  And you certainly don't need to add a punch of salt.  Stalk up on celery.

A few years ago, Mason and I were driving back from Ararat, PA (near Scranton).  And we conceived of a transcendent potato chip flavor.  We devised a clever limerick and made plans to enter the Lay's million dollar "Do Us A Flavor" contest.  But the Lay's bastards ended their promotion that same year in 2017.  

Our flavor?  Spicy Bloody Mary.  

Who the fuck wouldn't wanna try a spicy bloody mary flavored potato chip?  You'd have to be a complete idiot.  Why does this flavor not exist?  Keep in mind, Lay's has manufactured the following chip flavors: Mint Mischief, Cappuccino, and Cinnamon Bun.  Disgusting. (mark 2:44).

I said my peace.


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