Tuesday, October 12, 2021

#748. Gruden

What is it about multi-billionaire gingers and their bad hair cuts?

Of course there's the Orange Prolapse.

No introduction necessary.

And then there's Zuck...

Kyle Brovloski sports an impressive Jew-fro.

He normally wears a ball cap much like myself.

Eric Cartman briefly flirted with a ginger existence as well.

What about Raiders owner Mark Davis?   In a single word, the Cartman resemblance is... striking.

Could Cartman be the true source of inspiration for Davis?  Not his father Al?  I do not know.

Truth be told, even with the move to Las Vegas and a brand new stadium, the Raiders owner still ain't a billionaire.  As is reflected in the money-saving, anti-retro bowl cut.  Makes you wonder about his shampoo preference.  I'm guessing something old school.  Head & Shoulders?  Maybe Irish Spring soap?

Speaking of the Raiders, head coach Jon Gruden just resigned after a tranche of homophobic emails surfaced.  Whoa!  Didn't see that one coming.  The NFL quickly issued a statement about how Gruden's conduct was appalling, abhorrent and wholly contrary to the NFL's values.  Uh yeah, whatever.

In 2018, Gruden signed the wealthiest head coaching contract in NFL history.  10 years, 100 million.  Damn!  You gotta wonder how many years it'll take the lawyers to sift through that one.

Transition: I always got a kick out of the old Newhart episodes.  On the set of his local tv show, Vermont Today, the announcer would deliberately butcher Dick Loudon's name... calling him Dick Luden.  Funny shit.

But with the exception of Luden's (cough drops), not much rhymes with Gruden.  So we'll give it a couple of shots.  Hmm, let's see here.

"If you hate gays with all of your might, you might be a Gruden-ite." (2021)

"No throat tickle will you have at night, if you’re but a Luden-ite." (1917)
William H. Luden

Emails Gruden shared — Hates faggots, queers, anti-football pussies. (2021)

"Trusted Luden’s care — Everyone needs a little TLC.
Prestige Consumer Healthcare marketing 


Not that anyone would remotely give a shit, but I prefer the cherry flavored.  As opposed to the honey lemon.

Oakland Raiders:

9-15-02, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

12-7-03, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

12-6-09, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

11-21-10, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

11-8-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

I missed the 2021 home opener against the Raiders.  Went down to the stadium but just wasn't feeling it.

Please do not share this material with Las Vegas Raiders former head coach Jon Gruden.

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