#752. Captain Kirk

The footage of William Shatner's return to earth is worth checking out.

 

Now may I present the alternative version?  Jeff Bezos was trying to seduce the iconic 90 year old science fiction superstar.  Get him drunk on champagne and elevate the relationship.  That free trip to space?  Bezos was grooming him from the start.  The mega-billionaire Amazon CEO wishes to go where no man has gone before... deep into the rectum of Captain James Tiberius Kirk.

 

Captain Kirk
sonofsaf

Rhyming’s hard
But astronomy is free
The NFL is big money
But Kaepernick took a knee
The Orange Prolapse tried to govern
Amazon’s run by a clown
And the government is stunnin’
When we use some ground and pound

Jeff is cruel but not to Captain Kirk
Oh yeah
Bezos wants to fuck your Captain Kirk
Hardcore
Jeff is cruel but not to Captain Kirk
Oh yeah

Jesus sandals
Mother Mary was a whore
Three’s Company’s Mister Furley
Such a weirdo could not score
Trump’s an asshole daughter’s a whore
Why did they bring us shame
They won’t be here on the double
When the time has come for blame

Jeff is cruel but not to Captain Kirk
Oh yeah
Bezos wants to fuck your Captain Kirk
Hardcore
Jeff is cruel but not to Captain Kirk
Oh yeah

Jeff is cruel but not to Captain Kirk
Oh yeah
Bezos wants to fuck your Captain Kirk
Hardcore
Jeff is cruel but not to Captain Kirk
Oh yeah
Bezos wants to fuck your Captain Kirk
Hardcore
Jeff is cruel but not to Captain Kirk
Oh yeah

 

 

Dirty Work
Steely Dan

Times are hard
You're afraid to pay the fee
So you find yourself somebody
Who can do the job for free
When you need a bit of lovin'
'Cause your man is out of town
That's the time you get me runnin'
And you know I'll be around

I'm a fool to do your dirty work
Oh yeah
I don't wanna do your dirty work
No more
I'm a fool to do your dirty work
Oh yeah

Light the candle
Put the lock upon the door
You have sent the maid home early
Like a thousand times before
Like the castle in its corner
In a medieval game
I foresee terrible trouble
And I stay here just the same

I'm a fool to do your dirty work
Oh yeah
I don't wanna do your dirty work
No more
I'm a fool to do your dirty work
Oh yeah

I'm a fool to do your dirty work
Oh yeah
I don't wanna do your dirty work
No more
I'm a fool to do your dirty work
Oh yeah
I don't wanna do your dirty work
No more
I'm a fool to do your dirty work
Oh yeah

I often wonder what compels people to make this shit like this.

In other news, I have a good friend who went to Kenyon College.  While I doubt he ever performed in an all-male acapella group, he was arrested for stealing a straw dispenser from a local McDonald's.  Decades later, he would became the storied commissioner of our Fantasy Football League.

Steely Dan:

7-2-00, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-30-06, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA 

7-7-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

10-8-18, Heinz Hall, Pittsburgh, PA

 

Please do not share this material with actor/astronaut William Shatner and/or Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos.