#794. Jersey Jack

The latest Monmouth poll has incumbent Governor Phil Murphy (D-NJ) up by double digits over Republican challenger Jack Ciatarelli.

When he gets thoroughly dismantled on Tuesday, perhaps Jersey Jack can take some degree of solace in this unique "Sopranos/Stones" styled parody.  You know, him hailing from the Garden State and all.

 

 

Jersey Jack
sonofsaf

Republican whore and his name is Jersey Jack
His ass is so sore, ‘cause he took it in the back
Don’t you ever wonder why Ralphie is MIA
Chrissy cut off his head but still had time to pray

Feech stole some wedding cars carrier with a rack
Shipped ‘em whole to Newburgh had a deal with Johnny Sack
I’ve seen gangsters filled with lead Palmice on display
Uncle Jew was lucky, got arrested the other day

Be true to thine own self ducks in a pool will quack
Bobby is hardcore, a Blue Comet on the track
Hippie pothead from Texas has gotta shoe in her snatch
You know we’d all be fucked up if Jack Massarone cracked

Mushrooms are peyote Las Vegas trip for two
Visiting Day could not sing Hesh knows a thing or two
Tony called Carmine’s bluff whipped Zellman just for fun
Tony might kill Paulie dump him in the ocean

Republican whore and his name is Jersey Jack
His ass is so sore, ‘cause he took it in the back
Don’t you ever wonder why Ralphie is MIA
Chrissy cut off his head but still had time to pray

Hmm, hmm, hmm...

He ain’t gonna win Jersey, Jersey Jack
Jack is bought, Jack is sold
I wanna be the Pork Store Killer don’t ask why
I wanna be like Jersey, Jersey, Jersey, Jersey Jack

Yeah!

Hmm, hmm, hmm...

 

Paint It Black
Rolling Stones

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a newborn baby, it just happens every day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door, I must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm...

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

Yeah!

Hmm, hmm, hmm...

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN

10-4-21, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

Glad I didn't google the setlist prior to the concert.  Much to my surprise, they played "Paint It Black" late in the set.  Didn't see that coming.  My best advice though... I'd encourage Mick to finally retire Midnight Rambler and that tediously exhaustive harmonica bit.  It's never too late.   

While fans were eating tickets in the $250-$500 range, we snagged 3 tickets off some dude who made the trek from Brooklyn.  He liked my Liverpool jersey.  $20 each.  Then, got a free upgrade to the field.  My only regret was not stealing a few rolls of industrial-strength garbage bags after the show.  But I'll make up for it this Saturday at the Pitt/Miami game.

Please do not share this material with Jack Ciatarelli (R-NJ) and/or fans of the Sopranos.