Saturday, October 16, 2021

#759. Mark Lamb, Pinal Jock Itch

Whenever Fox News or any of the other right wing media outlets wish to talk illegal immigration, they dial up charismatic cowboy tough guy, Sheriff Mark Lamb.  

Lamb salivates and prepares to clap like a Pavlovian mutt.

Lamb represents Pinal County, Arizona.  It's the swath of land between Phoenix and Tuscon inhabited by about a half million residents.  Rest assured, Lamb is a Trumper through and through.  All of the customary rhetoric about God, country, and family.  Loves Jesus too.  Predictably though, his passion for law and order does not extend to his fellow police officers killed and maimed during the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol. 

If you routinely read this blog, you'll likely notice a penchant for vulgarity.  Kinda odd, because these days I rarely curse in public.  Over the past 5 years, with all the little kids in the neighborhood, I've made a conscious effort to scale back the profanity.   

However, here's a thought.  One of the most popular American expressions is "God damn son of a bitch!"  Trust me, I've used it often.  It's one of those declarative statements that has simply stood the test of time.  A distant second is Uncle Junior's "Your sister's cunt!"

Anyhoo, herewith, whenever Pinal County Sheriff Mark Lamb shows up on Fox and Friends for a one-sided softball interview about comprehensive immigration reform, I'd prefer it if the hosts use the following introduction...


Mark Lamb Pinal jock itch

God damn son of a bitch
Miscellaneous grumblers

Having family who live out in Arizona, I've been to the state a couple dozen times or so since the mid-90's.  But I've never had an encounter with the "law and order" Sheriff of Penile County.  I doubt he'd care much for the cut of my jib.  Kinda ironic because I enjoy speaking plainly about public safety.  But it's an uncomfortable discussion that would require actual courage to engage in.  I seriously doubt Lamb could summon the requisite bravery. 

Please do not share this material with Pinal County Sheriff Mark Lamb and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

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