#730. Cooper Kupp

This might just be a personal fantasy... but doesn't everyone think that Los Angeles Rams wide receiver Cooper Kupp and Buffalo Bills wide receiver Cole Beasley are the same exact human being?  Maybe it's a case of East Coast/West Coast.  I do not know.

 

 

Who the fuck cares?  Who the fuck knows?

Truth be told, this is my second parody of Cooper Kupp.  The first one dealt with Kupp's penchant for committing acts of domestic violence.  Why do you beat me up?  Cooper Kupp?

 

 

Cooper Kupp
sonofsaf

Name is Cooper Kupp
Name is Cooper Kupp he doesn’t drop
Name is Cooper Kupp
Name is Cooper Kupp he doesn’t drop

Passes he has caught
He’s wide receiving and he ain’t no flop
Name is Cooper Kupp
Name is Cooper Kupp he doesn’t drop
Doesn’t drop, doesn’t drop, doesn’t drop

Start him and don’t ask why
Start him and don’t ask why
Start him and don’t ask why
Chew on tin foil, use the latrine
Doesn’t lose, National Foot, Football league

Cooper Kupp
Name is Cooper Kupp
Shit stirring farter toilet gonna plop, gonna plop, gonna plop
He will defeat all the others in the NFC

If you know wazzup
It’s the shiznit Snoop can Dogg it up, Dogg it up, Dogg it up, Dogg it up

Start him and don’t ask why
Start him and don’t ask why
Start him and don’t ask why
He is so great, a surfer’s dream
Catches aren’t easy
National Foot, Football League

Cooper Kupp
Cooper Kupp
Give it all you got
Toilet gonna plop, gonna, gonna plop

Snoop it up
Doggy biscuit Snoop it up
Cooper Kupp, Cooper Kupp, Cooper Kupp
Gonna, gonna, gonna

Start him and don’t ask why
Start him and don’t ask why
Start him and don’t ask why
He doesn’t sin he don’t smoke weed
That ball he’s chasin’s made of piggy, piggy skin

Name is Cooper Kupp
Toilet stay until you gonna plop, gonna plop, gonna plop, gonna plop
Suck it up
Gonna plop, gonna plop

You, you, you start him don’t ask why
L.A. it’s where he is from
L.A. it’s where he is from

 

Start Me Up
Rolling Stones

If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop

I've been running hot
You got me ticking gonna blow my top
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
Never stop, never stop, never stop

You make a grown man cry
You make a grown man cry
You make a grown man cry
Spread out the oil, the gasoline
I walk smooth, ride in a mean, mean machine

Start it up
If you start it up
Kick on the starter give it all you got, you got to, you got to
I can't compete with the riders in the other heats

If you rough it up
If you like it I can slide it up, slide it up, slide it up, slide it up

Don't make a grown man cry
Don't make a grown man cry
Don't make a grown man cry
My eyes dilate, my lips go green
My hands are greasy
She's a mean, mean machine

Start it up
Start me up
Give it all you got
You got to never, never, never stop

Slide it up
Baby up just slide it up
Start it up, start it up, start it up
Never, never, never

You make a grown man cry
You make a grown man cry
You make a grown man cry
Ride like the wind at double speed
I'll take you places that you've never, never seen

If you start it up
Love the day and we will never stop, never stop, never stop, never stop
Tough me up
Never stop, never stop

You, you, you make a grown man cry
You, you make a dead man cum
You, you make a dead man cum

 

 

 

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Blind Melon opened... don't remember)

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (Pearl Jam opened... bad ass abbreviated setlist)

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA (AWOL Nation opened.  Whatever the hell that was/is)

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN (Rascal Flatts opened.  Skipped 'em)

10-4-21, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA (Ghost Hounds opened.  Skipped 'em.  Billionaire lead guitarist Thomas Tull hates my guts)

The most entertaining part of the Rolling Stones concert last night was watching all the elderly white men defiantly EAT tickets priced in the $250-$500 range.  Now that's some tasty cardboard and/or wireless paper!

We semi-reluctantly paid $20 a piece.  All of 'em on the field.  But we failed to steal rolls of garbage bags after the concert.  Perhaps tonight at Primus.  Testing out a new free front row parking spot gimmick.

Please do not share this information with Los Angeles Rams wide receiver Cooper Kupp and/or Buffalo Bills wide receiver Cole Beasley.