Thursday, July 07, 2022

#1329. Kelley Rat

There's an upcoming primary for the Governor of Michigan on August 2.  It's the day after my birthday!  As if any normal person would remotely give a dump.  Anyhoo, one of the candidates, Ryan Kelley (R) just pleaded not guilty to 4 separate charges involving the 1-6 artificially generated stampede at the U.S. Capitol.


At the moment, the Great Laking Republican primary is an absolute mess.  So, there were originally 12 candidates.  However, six of 'em withdrew or were disqualified.  Geesh.

In a crowded primary, I imagine all of this negative publicity will actually help Kelley.  Hey, he's got the right angle.  As he's able to constantly and demonstrably reaffirm his devotion to the Orange Prolapse.


Kelley Rat

Kelley rat, Kelley rat twat of Ivanka screw
Kelley rat, Kelley rat it's all Trump’s fault…
‘Cause fake news is circumspect
The Michigan Governor’s race you’ll regret.
You appeal to militia donors,
Boat parades from all the Trump voters.
In Ryan’s vomitorium,
A special place in hell ohhhh,
Kelley rat, Kelley rat twat of Ivanka screw
Kelley rat, Kelley rat it's all Trump’s fault!


Smelly Cat
Phoebe (Friends sitcom)

Smelly Cat, Smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, smelly cat it's not your fault...
They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favorite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're no friend to those with noses.
I promise you before we're done,
All the world will smell ohhhh,
Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat it's not your fault!

I'll admit it.  I used to watch Friends.  Favorite character?  Gotta go with Chandler Bing.  You know... for all of the sarcasm and insightful quips.

Of the key six, my least favorite character was Neurotica.  Er, I mean Monica.  

Oh I git it.  She's a clean freak.  Trust me, I get it.  #CleverWriters

The Big Lie 100: (#505) 

#1301.  Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)

#1302.  Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)

#1303.  Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)

#1304.  Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)

#1305.  Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)

#1306.  Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)

#1307.  Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1308.  Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)

#1309.  Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)

#1310.  The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1311.  Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1312.  Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)

#1313.  Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)

#1314.  McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)

#1315.  Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1316.  Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)

#1317.  Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)

#1318.  Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1320.  Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)

#1321.  The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)

#1322.  Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#1323.  Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)

#1324.  Huckabee (Faithfully --- Journey)

#1325.  Herschel Walker (I'm A Rocker --- Judas Priest)

#1326.  Hern's The Fuck To Blame (Burning Like A Flame --- Dokken)

#1328.  Donald Trump's A Piece Of Shit (I'm A Little Rocket Ship --- Cracker)

#1329.  Kelley Rat (Smelly Cat --- Phoebe)


Please do not share this material with Ryan Kelley and/or former President Donald J. Trump.


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