The Orange Prolapse is making a "Special Announcement" tonight.
Likely his bid for President in 2024. Go figure. Captain obvious.
If I was Trump, I'd tease the announcement with something else beforehand.
Maybe announce an Independent run for the presidency. Just to totally screw the GOP and all the RINOs (a severe case of "You lose - I win" revenge fantasy psychopathic shit).
Or how about a total wildcard? Maybe announce a "private citizen delegation" with Vladmir Putin in Moscow. Bring along Kanye West, Rudy Giuliani and the My Pillow Fuck... to secure the release of WNBA superstar Brittney Griner!
Frame it as a "prelude to a series of future discussions" about ending the war in Ukraine.
Especially with what just happened --- "Russian missile kills 2 in Poland "
Uh, that just happened an hour ago. E-gad! False flag.
Anyhoo, World War III will likely render all of this fatalistic speculation irrelevant.
So fuck it. Here's a couple of Trump Dumps across from the City County building this morning.
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| Grant Ave. dahntahn |
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| Ditto. Probably the same dog. |
Holy shit! Highly visible fecal carnage on the periphery of government.
A prelude to municipal anarchy perhaps.
Just like the ongoing Russian war in Ukraine, there's a similar propaganda war goin' on in the U.S.A. Right here in Kenny Pickett-Burgh. The throbbing heart and soul of our city has been unleashed. Everyone wants answers, dag-nammit!
So is it Acriturd Stadium? Or Acrid Turd Stadium? Obviously, these 2 latest #TrumpDumps would indicate that "Acrid Turd" has taken an early lead. But we'll just have to see about that!
As time goes by...
PSA! Starting now, all future dumps will be assigned a numerical identity. For example, Rooney1, Tomlin2, Kushner3, etc. Thus ushering in an era of fresh distinguishable dumps. In the future, I'll do my best to assign each and every dump to a person who best represents the essence of said dump. Deceased or alive. I'll try to emulate the embodiment of the excrement. That way, all future dumps shalt be inextricably linked to an individual of prominence! Mehmet Oz, Alex Jones, Taylor Swift, etc.
This will naturally require an enduring effort.
Introducing... drumroll please... a brand new, real-time, real-world commitment. It's called being an artist. Love the Yinzer Baby... baby!
No more readi-made dumps. It's called stepping up.
Trump
sonofsaf
He’s fucked up
That Donald Trump’s a clown
We’ve had enough
Deserving of some ground and pound
All a show
Maybe, he’ll stop the steal
It takes a toll
The McDonald’s Big Mac Happy Meal
Oh yeah he’s never drinking beer
Stormy D’s rack’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.
Why is the Orange Prolapse mean?
McDonald’s meat isn’t lean
Go to hell Trump. Trump!
Go to hell Trump
He’s well fed, Trump. Trump!
So well fed that’s Trump
Uh-oh, hey boy are you fat*
Maybe a has been
Had a job to blow
Job to blow loser he can’t win
Oh yeah he’s never drinking beer
And Stormy’s rack’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.
Why is the Orange Prolapse mean?
McDonald’s meat isn’t lean
Go to hell Trump. Trump!
So well fed that’s Trump
Go to hell Trump. Trump!
So well fed that’s Trump
Trump!
Go to hell Trump. Trump!
So well fed that’s Trump
Bullshit and dump. Trump!
So well fed that’s Trump
Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!
Jump
Van Halen
I get up
And nothing gets me down
You got it tough
I've seen the toughest all around
And I know
Baby, just how you feel
You've got to roll
With the punches to get to what's real
Oh can't you see me standing here
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen
Oh can't you see what I mean?
Might as well jump. Jump!
Might as well jump
Go ahead, jump. Jump!
Go ahead and jump
Ah-oh, hey you! Who said that?
Baby, how you been?
You say you don't know
You won't know until you begin
So can't you see me standing here
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen
Oh can't you see what I mean?
Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead and jump
Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead and jump
Jump!
Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead and jump
Get it and jump. Jump!
Go ahead and jump
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
I've always thought Van Halen's super break out hit "Jump" was kinda meh. Seriously, c'mon man. Panama? Hot For Teacher? Plenty of better songs off that album.
Big decision tonight. Trey and Goose at the UPMC Events Center out in Moon. The Toronto Maple Leafs are at PPG Paints. Or just stay in and watch the Orange Prolapse deliver his "special announcement." Currently cold and snowing. Roads are fine. We shall see.
Hint: we wanna stay in.
Van Halen:
6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pitttsburgh, PA (Monsters of Rock)
6-23-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Rock)
6-29-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
3-21-08, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
3-30-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA (Kool and the Gang opened - odd pairing)
7-28-15, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Big Lie 100: (#719)
#1417. Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)
#1418. Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)
#1419. The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)
#1432. Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
#1437. Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)
#1438. Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)
#1439. One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)
#1440. The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)
#1441. Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)
#1442. That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)
#1443. Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)
#1444. Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)
#1445. A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)
#1446. J.D. (Lady --- Styx)
#1447. J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)
#1448. Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)
#1449. Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)
#1450. J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)
#1451. J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)
#1452. Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)
#1453. Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)
#1454. Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)
#1455. Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)
#1456. Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)
#1457. Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)
#1458. Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)
#1459. Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)
#1460. Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)
#1461. Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)
#1462. Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)
#1463. Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)
#1464. Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)
#1465. Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)
#1466. Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)
#1467. A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)
#1468. Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)
#1469. Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)
#1470. I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)
#1471. Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)
#1472. Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)
#1473. Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)
#1474. Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)
#1475. Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)
#1476. Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)
#1477. Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)
#1478. Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)
#1479. Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)
#1480. Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)
#1481. Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)
#1482. Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)
#1483. Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)
#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)
#1485. Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)
#1486. Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)
#1487. Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)
#1488. Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran)
#1489. Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)
#1490. A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)
#1491. Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)
#1492. Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)
#1493. Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)
#1494. Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)
#1495. Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)
#1496. Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)
#1497. Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)
#1498. Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)
#1499. Sinning (Winning --- Santana)
#1500. Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)
#1501. (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)
#1502. Asshole In Trump Tower... Stinking (Standing In The Shower... Thinking --- Jane's Addiction)
#1503. Fuck Cooper (The Trooper --- Iron Maiden)
#1504. Ganahl (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)
#1505. Bannon (Love Gun --- Kiss)
#1506. Marco Rubio's A Clown And A Retard (Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard --- Paul Simon)
#1507. Paul LePage (Turn The Page --- Bob Seger)
#1508. The Donald Is Orange Not White (We Only Come Out At Night --- Smashing Pumpkins)
#1509. Cindy Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)
#1510. Strong And His Mouth (Song Of The South --- Alabama)
#1511. Clarence Thomas (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1512. Jim Marchant (Ants Marching --- Dave Matthews Band)
#1513. Adam Hinojosa (Champagne Supernova --- Oasis)
#1514. Acrisure (Immature --- Bjork)
#1515. Michels The Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)
#1516. Donald's A Liar (Great Balls Of Fire --- Jerry Lee Lewis)
#1517. Mark Amodei (Carry that Weight --- Paul McCartney)
#1518. George Logan (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)
#1519. Mike DeWine (He's So Fine --- The Chiffons)
#1520. Connie Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)
#1521. Colonel Robertson (Mrs. Robisnon --- Paul Simon)
#1522. Mehmet's A Crudite Fan (We're An American Band --- Rob Zombie)
#1523. The Liar Bob Burns (The Fire That Burns --- Twisted Sister)
#1524. Grassley Ass Ass (Blow, Blow, Blow) (Grassy Grass Grass (Grow, Grow, Grow --- Woody Guthrie)
#1525. Fuck Cory Mills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)
#1526. Sununu (Katmandu --- Bob Seger)
#1527. Josh Brecheen (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)
#1528. Lombardo (Touch And Go --- The Cars)
#1529. Gerald Malloy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)
#1530. Ezell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)
#1531. Die Anus Brenna Bird (Fly Famous Mockingbird --- Phish)
#1532. I Hope He Dies (DeSantis DeSantis) (As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) --- Herman Hupfeld)
#1533. Sam Peters (Maneater --- Hall & Oates)
#1534. Houchin Is A Buffoon (Bouncin' Around The Room --- Phish)
#1535. Brenna Bird (Mockingbird --- Carly Simon)
#1536. Eli Crane (On A Plain --- Nirvana)
#1537. Marco Rubio (Sussudio --- Phil Collins)
#1538. Dislike Neil Parrott (Smells Like Teen Spirit --- Nirvana)
#1539. Kirkmeyer (Desire --- U2)
#1540. Bruce Poliquin (Bad Medicine --- Bon Jovi)
#1541. Chavez DeRemer (Daydream Believer --- The Monkees)
#1542. Michelle Steel (Spinning Wheel --- Blood, Sweat & Tears)
#1543. Ganahl's Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung)
#1544. Trump (Jump --- Van Halen)
Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.
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