In the realm of 2022 impactful governor endorsements, things didn't go so well for the swollen Orange Prolapse.
Tudor Dixon in Michigan... went down the fallopian tubes. Tim Michels in Wisconsin seemed a bit recycled. Dan Cox = Dan Cocks. Kari Lake equals total fake.
Doug Mastriano & Carrie DelRosso in Pennsylvania?
Well, I'll let the political signage speak for itself.
And Heidi Ganahl in Colorado?
Ganahl
sonofsaf
[Chorus:]
Ganahl has a big patootie
Dumb ass Giuliani Rudy
Outta line First Lady was a model porn star soft core, mam
Big crime a coup d’etat’s not easy
MAGA douchebags all believe me
Ganahl Heidi’s a lesbian dyke and stupid whore
She’s shovin’ in an ass toy
A centerfold in Playboy
She’s fuckin’ Heidi Ganahl
Like an Alec Baldwin decoy
Voter fraud ain’t allowed
Coup d’état will make the Boys Proud
Why does Donald lack self-esteem
China virus and the vaccine
Mass shootin’ like Columbine
McDonald’s in the bloodline
Actin’ pissy always been a sissy
Such a little snot in the course of U.S. history
[Chorus]
Yeah she’s losin’
Yeah she’s losin’
Election fraud’s a big crime
And Donald’s on the front line
Yeah she’s losin’
Yeah she’s losin’
Actin’ pissy always been a sissy
Such a little snot in the course of U.S. history
Ganahl has a big patootie
Dumb ass Giuliani Rudy
Outta line First Lady was a model porn star soft core, mam
Big crime a coup d’etat’s not easy
MAGA douchebags all believe me
Ganahl, Heidi’s a lesbian, Heidi’s a lesbian
Heidi’s a lesbian dyke and stupid whore
Yeah she’s losin’
Yeah she’s losin’
Election fraud’s a big crime
She’s lazy at the deadline
Yeah she’s losin’
She’s really losin’
Actin’ shitty, always been a sissy
Such a little snot in the course of U.S. history
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
Rag Doll
Aerosmith
[Chorus:]
Rag Doll livin' in a movie
Hot tramp Daddy's little cutie
You're so fine they'll never see ya leavin' by the back door, mam
Hot time get it while it's easy
Don't mind come on up and see me
Rag Doll baby won't you do me like you done before
I'm feelin' like a bad boy
Mm just a like a bad boy
I'm rippin' up a Rag Doll
Like throwin' away an old toy
Some babe's talkin' real loud
Talkin' all about the new crowd
Try and tell me of an old dream
A new version of the old scene
Speak easy on the grape vine
Keep shufflin' in a shoe shine
Old tin lizzy do it till you're dizzy
Give it all ya got until you're put out of your misery
[Chorus]
Yes I'm movin'
Yes I'm movin'
Get ready for the big time
Tap dancing on a land mine
Yes I'm movin'
Yes I'm movin'
Old tin lizzy do it till you're dizzy
Give it all ya got until you're put out of your misery
Rag Doll livin' in a movie
Hot tramp Daddy's little cutie
You're so fine they'll never see ya leavin' by the back door, mam
Hot time get it while it's easy
Don't mind come on up and see me
Rag Doll, baby won't ya do me, baby won't ya do me,
baby won't ya do me like you done before
Yes I'm movin'
Yes I'm movin'
Get ready for the big time
Get crazy on the moon shine
Yes I'm movin'
I'm really movin'
Sloe Gin Fizzy, do it till you're dizzy
Give it all ya got until you're put out of your misery
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
Challenging parody. Aerosmith relies heavily on those choppy phrases and fragmented lyrics.
But I think I did the song justice. Is there another parody of Rag Doll out there on the internet?
Uh, I seriously doubt it.
* - Mark Madden's all-time favorite concert. I must admit, the energy level in the Civic Center was off the charts.
Heidi's Anal Ganahl Cabal Top 5:
#1504. Ganahl (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)
#1543. Ganahl's Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung)
#1549. Fuck Ganahl (Give It All --- Ratt)
#1550. Heidi Ganahl (I Want It All --- Queen)
#1563. Ganahl (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)
The Big Lie 100: (#738)
#1417. Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)
#1418. Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)
#1419. The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)
#1432. Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
#1437. Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)
#1438. Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)
#1439. One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)
#1440. The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)
#1441. Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)
#1442. That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)
#1443. Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)
#1444. Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)
#1445. A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)
#1446. J.D. (Lady --- Styx)
#1447. J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)
#1448. Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)
#1449. Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)
#1450. J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)
#1451. J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)
#1452. Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)
#1453. Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)
#1454. Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)
#1455. Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)
#1456. Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)
#1457. Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)
#1458. Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)
#1459. Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)
#1460. Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)
#1461. Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)
#1462. Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)
#1463. Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)
#1464. Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)
#1465. Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)
#1466. Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)
#1467. A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)
#1468. Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)
#1469. Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)
#1470. I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)
#1471. Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)
#1472. Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)
#1473. Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)
#1474. Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)
#1475. Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)
#1476. Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)
#1477. Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)
#1478. Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)
#1479. Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)
#1480. Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)
#1481. Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)
#1482. Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)
#1483. Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)
#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)
#1485. Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)
#1486. Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)
#1487. Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)
#1488. Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran)
#1489. Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)
#1490. A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)
#1491. Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)
#1492. Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)
#1493. Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)
#1494. Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)
#1495. Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)
#1496. Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)
#1497. Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)
#1498. Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)
#1499. Sinning (Winning --- Santana)
#1500. Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)
#1501. (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)
#1502. Asshole In Trump Tower... Stinking (Standing In The Shower... Thinking --- Jane's Addiction)
#1503. Fuck Cooper (The Trooper --- Iron Maiden)
#1504. Ganahl (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)
#1505. Bannon (Love Gun --- Kiss)
#1506. Marco Rubio's A Clown And A Retard (Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard --- Paul Simon)
#1507. Paul LePage (Turn The Page --- Bob Seger)
#1508. The Donald Is Orange Not White (We Only Come Out At Night --- Smashing Pumpkins)
#1509. Cindy Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)
#1510. Strong And His Mouth (Song Of The South --- Alabama)
#1511. Clarence Thomas (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1512. Jim Marchant (Ants Marching --- Dave Matthews Band)
#1513. Adam Hinojosa (Champagne Supernova --- Oasis)
#1514. Acrisure (Immature --- Bjork)
#1515. Michels The Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)
#1516. Donald's A Liar (Great Balls Of Fire --- Jerry Lee Lewis)
#1517. Mark Amodei (Carry that Weight --- Paul McCartney)
#1518. George Logan (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)
#1519. Mike DeWine (He's So Fine --- The Chiffons)
#1520. Connie Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)
#1521. Colonel Robertson (Mrs. Robisnon --- Paul Simon)
#1522. Mehmet's A Crudite Fan (We're An American Band --- Rob Zombie)
#1523. The Liar Bob Burns (The Fire That Burns --- Twisted Sister)
#1524. Grassley Ass Ass (Blow, Blow, Blow) (Grassy Grass Grass (Grow, Grow, Grow --- Woody Guthrie)
#1525. Fuck Cory Mills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)
#1526. Sununu (Katmandu --- Bob Seger)
#1527. Josh Brecheen (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)
#1528. Lombardo (Touch And Go --- The Cars)
#1529. Gerald Malloy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)
#1530. Ezell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)
#1531. Die Anus Brenna Bird (Fly Famous Mockingbird --- Phish)
#1532. I Hope He Dies (DeSantis DeSantis) (As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) --- Herman Hupfeld)
#1533. Sam Peters (Maneater --- Hall & Oates)
#1534. Houchin Is A Buffoon (Bouncin' Around The Room --- Phish)
#1535. Brenna Bird (Mockingbird --- Carly Simon)
#1536. Eli Crane (On A Plain --- Nirvana)
#1537. Marco Rubio (Sussudio --- Phil Collins)
#1538. Dislike Neil Parrott (Smells Like Teen Spirit --- Nirvana)
#1539. Kirkmeyer (Desire --- U2)
#1540. Bruce Poliquin (Bad Medicine --- Bon Jovi)
#1541. Chavez DeRemer (Daydream Believer --- The Monkees)
#1542. Michelle Steel (Spinning Wheel --- Blood, Sweat & Tears)
#1543. Ganahl's Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung)
#1544. Trump (Jump --- Van Halen)
#1545. Justin Amash (Caught In A Mosh --- Anthrax)
#1546. Senator Chuck Grassley (Tallahassee Lassie --- Rolling Stones)
#1547. Omnibus (Magic Bus --- The Who)
#1548. Bird Whore (3rd Floor --- Death Angel)
#1549. Fuck Ganahl (Give It All --- Ratt)
#1550. Heidi Ganahl (I Want It All --- Queen)
#1551. Aaron Bean (Vasoline --- Stone Temple Pilots)
#1552. Yum Crudite (Run Runaway --- Slade)
#1553. Buy The Crudite (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)
#1554. The Crudite (Come Sail Away --- Styx)
#1555. He's John Cornyn (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)
#1556. Fuck You John Cornyn (You Are My Sunshine --- Johnny Cash)
#1557. Wants The Crudite (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)
#1558. Tuberville (Overkill --- Motorhead)
#1559. The Crudite (Alice In Chains --- The Crudite)
#1560. Kushner's A Jew (With Or Without You --- U2)
#1561. Oz Wants The Crudite (On The Turning Away --- Pink Floyd)
#1562. So Much Pain (The Big Lie) --- (Morning Train (Nine To Five) --- Sheena Easton)
#1563. Ganahl (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)
Please do not share this material with Heidi Ganahl and/or former President Donald J. Trump.
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