Friday, September 29, 2023

#2091. Birdbrain

Out of all the Republican clowns running for President, I think Nikki Haley stands the best shot to actually defeat Joe Biden.  

Why would the Orange Prolapse take a dump... with his clothes on?

Unfortunately for Haley, independent voters will play the decisive role in 2024.  And she's firmly positioned herself as an incontrovertible loser regarding the two major hot-button social issues.  Guns and abortion.  Immigration and the Southern border is still a wildcard.

But in all candor, all Nikki Haley would need, or Trump for that matter as well, is a 9/11-type black swan event that would result in the immediate resignation of Joe Biden.  Then, it's Haley or Trump vs. Kamala.  Think about it.

Hint #1: Eight NFL games being played concurrently with 15 MLB games.  Timing.

Hint #2:  A generic hypothetical scenario --- the internet being saturated and bombarded with phony AI generated video clips of hijacked planes hitting stadiums and ballparks, viral bomb threats, active shooter alerts, etc.

Hint #3:  Wireless hyper-connective environments in multiple Tier Level 1 Department of Homeland Security locations.  Many of them with 1,000+ WiFi hubs in a quarter square mile.

Hint #4:  Everyone has a cell phone.

Hint #5:  Line of sight, panic & herding instincts.

Hint #6:  Undiscussibility regarding outdated emergency evac protocol and a universal unwillingness to challenge the status quo.

Hint #7:  The discernible inevitability of an AI generated, social media-driven, mass casualty event.

Hint #8:  The cellular equivalent of "shouting FIRE in a crowded theater."  Artificially generated stampedes, dominipede, viral blitzkrieg, etc.

Hint #9:  Asymmetric cyber-threats and the next stage of generational warfare (mass, decentralized killing without conventional weapons)

Hint #10:  Hubris, plausible deniability, hypothetical litigation concerns, $$$, etc.

I could list another 100 hints.  But if you don't get the gist of what I'm inferring here...

October 1, 2023 around 3pm.  

Meanwhile everyone's worried about a government shutdown and whether or not Taylor Swift attends the Chiefs/Jets game at MetLife Stadium (chapter 9).  Yep, sounds about right.  

Gimme a fuckin' break!




Forty-five adorer
Coup d’etat’s the plan
Asshole cannot be best ‘cause Stormy has a chest
But me I ain’t a Donald Trump fan

Lying about the election
Insurrection crimes
And I know this fuckin’ could sound terse
But Donald’s toupee’s a disguise


Now Trump is quite a wanker
And Junior is a jerk
Ending our democracy ain’t funny
Maybe Kristi Noem he’ll bork

Donald is a liar
Maybe even gay
He is the ultimate piece of fuckin’ shit
Has dandruff uses Head’n Shoulders ‘cause P&G let’s pray


Lake Tahoe’s the place for romancing
It’s a resort where you can bork
‘Cause the Proud Boys and the Oath Keepers
Only want Melania to squirt

Congresswoman Greene shows no restraint
Congresswoman Boebert always lies
Their toilets are a fuckin’ royal flush
And it makes me wanna cry

Stormy D.’s cunt queefed out a fart
McDonald’s with their quarter pound of bullshit
Kushner’s a cunt who’s eatin’ a la carte
She shouldn’t want to be a clown that fakes it

Birdbrain Birdbrain
Birdbrain Birdbrain
Birdbrain Birdbrain
Birdbrain, oh my Birdbrain


Sweet Jane
The Velvet Underground

Standing on the corner
Suitcase in my hand
Jack is in his corset and Jane is in her vest
And me I'm in a rock and roll band

Riding in a Stutz Bearcat Jim
Those were different times
And the poets studied rules of verse
And all the ladies rolled there eyes

Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane

Now Jack he is a banker
And Jane she is a clerk
And they're both saving up all their money
And when they come home from work

Sitting by the fire
Radios a-play
A little classical music for you kids
To the march of the wooden soldiers and you can hear Jack say

Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane

Some people like to go out dancing
Other people they got to work
And there's always some evil mothers
I tell you life is just full of dirt

And the women never really faint
And the villains always blink their eyes
And children are the only ones that blush
And that life is just to die

But anyone who had a heart
He wouldn't want to turn around and break it
And anyone who ever played a part
He wouldn't want to turn around and hate it

Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane, oh my sweet Jane


Love this song.  My favorite name for a girl is... drumroll please... Jane.  Very girl-next-doorish.

From 1973 to 1986, Lou Reed played the Burgh a grand total of 5 times.  Never seen him.

The Big Lie 100: (#1247)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1949.  Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)

#1950.  Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1951.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)

#1952.  Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)

#1953.  Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

#1954.  Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)

#1955.  Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)

#1956.  Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)

#1957.  Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)

#1958.  A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)

#1959.  Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1960.  Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)

#1961.  Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)

#1962.  Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

#1963.  Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)

#1964.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#1965.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1966.  The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)

#1967.  I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1968.  Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)

#1969.  Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)

#1970.  I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)

#1971.  Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)

#1972.  Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)

#1973.  Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)

#1974.  Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1975.  Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#1976.  Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1977.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)

#1978.  Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)

#1979.  His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)

#1980.  Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)

#1981.  Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)

#1982.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)

#1983.  Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)

#1984.  Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)

#1985.  Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)

#1986.  Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)

#1987.  Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)

#1988.  Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)

#1989.  Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)

#1990.  Ayotte (Slipknot --- Grateful Dead)

#1991.  Hawley (Polly --- Nirvana)

#1992.  Proud Boys Love Trump The Clown (The Boys Are Back In Town --- Thin Lizzy)

#1993.  Cornyn (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

#1994.  Mittens Romney (Hot Pastrami --- The Ronettes)

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Sweet Caroline --- James Taylor)

#1996.  John Cornyn (Red, Red Wine --- Neil Diamond)

#1997.  Timothy Shea (Come Out And Play --- The Offspring)

#1998.  Shithead Fred Keller (Rats In The Cellar --- Aerosmith)

#1999.  Timothy Shea (Games People Play --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2000.  Trump's A Fuckin' Orange Clown (Try That In A Small Town --- Jason Aldean)

#2001.  Aldean (Machine --- Black Flag)

#2002.  Aldean (Machine --- Violent Femmes)

#2003.  Chris Sununu (Out Of The Blue --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2004.  Aldean Cunt (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#2005.  Vance Is White And Gay (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#2006.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Billy Ocean)

#2007.  He's Braun (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)
#2008.  Bishop Probes (Bishop's Robes --- Radiohead)

#2009.  Vance, Vance, Vance (Dance, Dance, Dance --- Neil Young)

#2010.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Aretha Franklin)

#2011.  Taylor Greene (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#2012.  An Asshole No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#2013.  Hillbilly J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Santana)

#2014.  Dolan (Stolen --- The Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2015.  Jim Justice (Blind Justice --- Agnostic Front)

#2016.  My God's Donald Trump (My God Is The Sun --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#2017.  Robert T. Bigelow (Moving In Stereo --- The Cars)

#2018.  Joshua Sills (Beverly Hills --- Weezer)

#2019.  Pritt Is An Orange Prolapse Fart (Quit Playin' Games With My Heart --- Backstreet Boys)

#2020.  Pudding Fingers (Crazy Fingers --- Grateful Dead) 

#2021.  Deace (Peace --- Judas Priest)

#2022.  Joshua Stills (Beverly Hills --- Circle Jerks)

#2023.  Deace (Peace -- Weezer)

#2024.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Powerman 5000)

#2025.  Scott Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2026.  Trevian Kutti (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#2027.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Rancid)

#2028.  CUM (Dumb --- Nirvana)
#2029.  Clark (Sparks --- Coldplay)
#2030.  DOJ Jeffrey Clark (Saturday In The Park --- Chicago)
#2031.  Deace (Grease --- Bee Gees)
#2032.  Abigail Jo Shry (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)
#2033.  Abigail (Abigail --- King Diamond)
#2034.  Nauta's Really Gay (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)
#2035.  Owens (Oceans --- Pearl Jam)
#2036.  Jew!  (Who? --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)
#2037.  Shawn Still's A Creep (Until It Sleeps --- Metallica)
#2038.  Findling (Kindling --- Harry Brokensha & Nick Wilson)
#2039.  Doug Burgum (Bang The Drum --- Lindsey Buckingham)
#2040.  Puddin' Stain (Puddin' Taine --- Primus)
#2041.  Harrison Floyd (Into The Void --- Kiss)
#2042.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Moby)
#2043.  Sadow (Meatplow --- Stone Temple Pilots)
#2044.  Lawfare (I Swear --- All 4 One)
#2045.  Reddy Really Blows (Steady, As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)
#2046.  Stormy's Chest (Phone Went West --- My Morning Jacket)
#2047.  Lake's A Dummy And Cunt (Take The Money And Run --- Steve Miller)
#2048.  Lake's A Liar (Lake Of Fire --- Nirvana)
#2049.  Assclown (Lowdown --- My Morning Jacket)
#2050.  Fuck Forty-Five (Love Is Alive --- Gary Wright)
#2051.  Lake Will Fuck You (Take Me With You --- Prince)
#2052.  Stephen Lee (Let It Be --- The Beatles)
#2053.  Pezzola's Bad News (Viola Lee Blues --- Grateful Dead)
#2054.  Crow (Snow --- The Chemical Brothers)
#2055.  Blow Chesebro (Go With the Flow --- Queens Of The Stone Age)
#2056.  Brandon Judd (Book Of Blood --- Armored Saint)
#2057.  David Cole (Rock And Roll --- Led Zeppelin)
#2058.  David Cole (Heart And Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#2059.  Senator Cruz (Second Hand News --- Fleetwood Mac)
#2060.  Elon (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)
#2061.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz (I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz --- Elton John)
#2062.  Kari Lake (Crater Lake --- Liz Phair)

#2063.  Rehl (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2064.  Navarro (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2065.  Navarro (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#2066.  Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)

#2067.  Charles Roy (Corduroy --- Pearl Jam)

#2068.  Shutdown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2069.  Rectum of J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Carole King)
#2070.  Kim Jong Un (Harvest Moon --- Neil Young)
#2071.  Un (Soon --- My Bloody Valentine)
#2072.  Harlan Crow (Let It Snow --- Billy Idol)
#2073.  Crow (Low --- Cracker)
#2074.  Trump Dump's A Piece Of Shit (Trump Won And You Know It --- Natasha Owens)
#2075.  Trump Farts (Doll Parts --- Hole)
#2076.  Tuberville (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)
#2077.  Trump Was Born To Fuck You (I Was Born To Love You --- Ray LaMontagne)
#2078.  Harrison Floyd (Nine Inch Nails --- Into The Void)
#2079.  Ted Cruz (Bad News --- Johnny Cash)
#2080.  Rand Paul (Snowball --- Jimmy Fallon)
#2081.  Ray Epps (Footsteps --- Pearl Jam)
#2082.  Crow (Low --- Coldplay)
#2083.  Donald Is Gay (Those Were The Days --- All In The Family theme song)
#2084.  Bill Cassidy (Butch Cassidy --- My Morning Jacket)
#2085.  Birdbrain (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
#2086.  McDonald's Meals (Head Over Heels --- The Go-Go's)
#2087.  Birdbrain (Red Rain --- Peter Gabriel)
#2088.  Birdbrain (Love Train --- Rolling Stones)
#2089.  Nikki Haley's A Birdbrain (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- CCR/John Fogerty)
#2090.  Donald Duck (Disco Duck --- Rick Dees And His Cast Of Idiots)
#2091.  Birdbrain (Sweet Jane --- The Velvet Underground)

Please do not share this material with Nikki Haley and/or former President Donald J. Trump.



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