#2053. Pezzola's Bad News

Domenic "Proud Dildo Toy" Pezzola just got sentenced to 10 years.

As Pezzola exited the courtroom, he raised his fist and yelled "Trump won!"

Yeah, right.  I'm sure the Orange Prolapse has this imbecile's back.

 

 

Pezzola’s Bad News
sonofsaf

That Trump is bullshit, fat jerk piece of shit
Jerk piece of shit clown enemy
Trump is bullshit, jerk piece of shit clown
Trump is unrepentant, deserves ground and pound

Ivanka’s cunt, Ivanka’s squalid
Ivanka’s squalid queer enemy
Ivanka’s cunt, Ivanka’s squalid, yeah
Oath Keeper butt buddies suck cock far and near

Stormy is wetter, that Daniels and… her shaved cunt hair wasn’t free
Stormy is wetter, that Daniels cunt hair
Donald Trump is fat but he’s the true cunt hair

Stormy is wetter, that Daniels and… her shaved cunt hair wasn’t free
Stormy is wetter, that Daniels cunt hair
Donald Trump is fat but he’s the true cunt hair

 

Viola Lee Blues
Grateful Dead

The judge decreed it, the clerk he wrote it
Clerk he wrote it down indeed-e
Judge decreed it, clerk he wrote it down
Give you this jail sentence, you'll be Nashville bound

Some got six months, some got one solid
Some got one solid year indeed-e
Some got six months, some got one solid, yeah
But me and my buddies all got lifetime here

I wrote a letter, I mailed in the...mailed it in the air indeed-e
I wrote a letter, I mailed in the air
You may know by that I've got a friend somewhere

I wrote a letter, I mailed in the...mailed it in the air indeed-e
I wrote a letter, I mailed in the air
You may know by that I've got a friend somewhere

In other news, this could be the biggest "concert fail" in the history of PNC Park.  So I'm doing laps around the ballpark for the totally sold-out Morgan Wallen concert.  Out of nowhere, a sharp-dressed man hands me 3 free box tickets.  Totally unsolicited.

(probably worth about $750, maybe more)

 

Long story short, I'm not going inside.  So I try to give them away.  All of a sudden, this awkwardly aggressive cowboy dude 

appears out of nowhere and accuses me of "trying to fuck with people."  I'm like... "Dude, what the hell are you talkin' about?"  He starts yammering about out how I'm giving away counterfeit tickets and how I just wanna be some kind of "country music super-hero." Accuses me of being jealous of Morgan Wallen.  For some bizarre reason, I reply, "Well I do know Brad Paisley.  For whatever that's worth."

This guy was obviously looking for an argument or fight.  Which I had ZERO interest in.  So I just muttered "whatever dumbshit" and walked away.  In retrospect, I should have stabbed him in the neck with my pen.

The irony here?  I could have become famous that night!  

Turns out, it was these ladies who stole the show.

 

Reminds me of an excerpt from my odd-oh biography.

 

Cheeseburger in Port-a-Jon

If there doth be urine, there shalt be shit.  The show had begun.  A spirited Buffett was regaling the crowd with a story about some bozo who loves wine coolers.  Women adorned with inflatable shark hats and men wearing festive coconut bras were filtering in.  I was in a heavily tailgated-upon section.  Remember, it was a Buffett show so the crowd started early.  A microburst was whipping through the area as darkness set in.  It was a torrential downpour.  I recall 2 distinct lightning strikes touching down in the parking lot. 

An innocent man was taking a dump in one of the heavily abused port-a-jons.  Some of his friends gathered round and started to rock the thing back and forth.  Inscribed on this particular port-a-jon was a logo that read "Mr. Clean."  Trust me, it was hardly immaculate at this stage of the game.  And this guy is screaming for help from deep within the bowels of the port-a-potty.  Then all of a sudden, the damn thing tips over - DOOR SIDE DOWN.  All the port-ass-ailants scatter in opposite directions, laughing up a storm, like leprechauns frolicking into the distance.  Nobody else is in the vicinity.  So it's just me and this guy pleading for assistance.  Would I step up?  Would I come to his fecal rescue?  Lamentably the answer is no.  I chose the more cowardly option.  I just walked away.  There were battles to be fought that fateful night.  And this was not one of them.

Even crazier, Jimmy Buffett passed away last night.  Coincidence?  I think not.  

Saf, you killed Jimmy Buffet!

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

Bob Weir / Dead & Company

 

Bob Weir, 7-19-91, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
Bob Weir, 8-31-92, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

Ratdog & Phil Lesh, 7-18-01, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
Ratdog & Rusted Root, 8-12-01, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Other Ones, 11-29-02, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Dead, Bob Dylan, 8-6-03, Germain Amphitheater, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 11-13-15, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 8-13-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Dead & Company, 6-15-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-28-17, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, OH

Dead & Company, 6-20-18, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, OH

Dead & Company, 7-5-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Dead & Company, 7-6-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Dead & Company, 8-28-21, Hershey Stadium, Hershey, PA

Dead & Company, 9-7-21, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, OH

Dead & Company, 7-12-22, The Pavilion at Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA

Dead & Company, 6-1-23, Coastal Credit Union Park at Walnut Creek, Raleigh, NC

Dead & Company, 6-3-23, Jiffy Lube Pavilion, Bristow, VA

Dead & Company, 6-5-23, The Pavilion at Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1209)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1949.  Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)

#1950.  Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1951.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)

#1952.  Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)

#1953.  Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

#1954.  Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)

#1955.  Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)

#1956.  Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)

#1957.  Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)

#1958.  A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)

#1959.  Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1960.  Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)

#1961.  Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)

#1962.  Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

#1963.  Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)

#1964.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#1965.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1966.  The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)

#1967.  I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1968.  Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)

#1969.  Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)

#1970.  I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)

#1971.  Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)

#1972.  Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)

#1973.  Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)

#1974.  Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1975.  Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#1976.  Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1977.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)

#1978.  Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)

#1979.  His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)

#1980.  Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)

#1981.  Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)

#1982.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)

#1983.  Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)

#1984.  Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)

#1985.  Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)

#1986.  Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)

#1987.  Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)

#1988.  Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)

#1989.  Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)

#1990.  Ayotte (Slipknot --- Grateful Dead)

#1991.  Hawley (Polly --- Nirvana)

#1992.  Proud Boys Love Trump The Clown (The Boys Are Back In Town --- Thin Lizzy)

#1993.  Cornyn (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

#1994.  Mittens Romney (Hot Pastrami --- The Ronettes)

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Sweet Caroline --- James Taylor)

#1996.  John Cornyn (Red, Red Wine --- Neil Diamond)

#1997.  Timothy Shea (Come Out And Play --- The Offspring)

#1998.  Shithead Fred Keller (Rats In The Cellar --- Aerosmith)

#1999.  Timothy Shea (Games People Play --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2000.  Trump's A Fuckin' Orange Clown (Try That In A Small Town --- Jason Aldean)

#2001.  Aldean (Machine --- Black Flag)

#2002.  Aldean (Machine --- Violent Femmes)

#2003.  Chris Sununu (Out Of The Blue --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2004.  Aldean Cunt (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#2005.  Vance Is White And Gay (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#2006.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Billy Ocean)

#2007.  He's Braun (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2008.  Bishop Probes (Bishop's Robes --- Radiohead)

#2009.  Vance, Vance, Vance (Dance, Dance, Dance --- Neil Young)

#2010.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Aretha Franklin)

#2011.  Taylor Greene (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#2012.  An Asshole No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#2013.  Hillbilly J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Santana)

#2014.  Dolan (Stolen --- The Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2015.  Jim Justice (Blind Justice --- Agnostic Front)

#2016.  My God's Donald Trump (My God Is The Sun --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#2017.  Robert T. Bigelow (Moving In Stereo --- The Cars)

#2018.  Joshua Sills (Beverly Hills --- Weezer)

#2019.  Pritt Is An Orange Prolapse Fart (Quit Playin' Games With My Heart --- Backstreet Boys)

#2020.  Pudding Fingers (Crazy Fingers --- Grateful Dead) 

#2021.  Deace (Peace --- Judas Priest)

#2022.  Joshua Stills (Beverly Hills --- Circle Jerks)

#2023.  Deace (Peace -- Weezer)

#2024.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Powerman 5000)

#2025.  Scott Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2026.  Trevian Kutti (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#2027.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Rancid)

#2028.  CUM (Dumb --- Nirvana)

 

#2029.  Clark (Sparks --- Coldplay)

 

#2030.  DOJ Jeffrey Clark (Saturday In The Park --- Chicago)

 

#2031.  Deace (Grease --- Bee Gees)

 

#2032.  Abigail Jo Shry (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

 

#2033.  Abigail (Abigail --- King Diamond)

 

#2034.  Nauta's Really Gay (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

 

#2035.  Owens (Oceans --- Pearl Jam)

 

#2036.  Jew!  (Who? --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

 

#2037.  Shawn Still's A Creep (Until It Sleeps --- Metallica)

 

#2038.  Findling (Kindling --- Harry Brokensha & Nick Wilson)

 

#2039.  Doug Burgum (Bang The Drum --- Lindsey Buckingham)

 

#2040.  Puddin' Stain (Puddin' Taine --- Primus)

 

#2041.  Harrison Floyd (Into The Void --- Kiss)

 

#2042.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Moby)

 

#2043.  Sadow (Meatplow --- Stone Temple Pilots)

 

#2044.  Lawfare (I Swear --- All 4 One)

 

#2045.  Reddy Really Blows (Steady, As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

 

#2046.  Stormy's Chest (Phone Went West --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2047.  Lake's A Dummy And Cunt (Take The Money And Run --- Steve Miller)

 

#2048.  Lake's A Liar (Lake Of Fire --- Nirvana)

 

#2049.  Assclown (Lowdown --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2050.  Fuck Forty-Five (Love Is Alive --- Gary Wright)

 

#2051.  Lake Will Fuck You (Take Me With You --- Prince)

 

#2052.  Stephen Lee (Let It Be --- The Beatles)

 

#2053.  Pezzola's Bad News (Viola Lee Blues --- Grateful Dead)

 

 

 Please do not share this material with Dominic Pezzola and/or former President Donald J. Trump.