Yesterday, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un arrived in the obscure tourist destination of "Komsolosk-On-Amur" via an armored train.
Lil' Kim awkwardly shook hands with Vladimir Putin for about 40 seconds. Apparently, Putin is running out of long range missiles necessary for targeting Ukranian elementary schools and nursing homes. So the Kimster is lending a helpful hand. Those two just ain't got no Seoul. And neither do atheists.
Hint: Steve Martin and Martin Short are at the Benedum tonight.
Whazzup with Putin and his desire to greet weirdos with strange haircuts for extended handshakes?
Vladimir Putin digitally embraces the Orange Prolapse. |
Whatever. Un and Putin shalt both be awarded with a Trump Dump.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Kim Jong Un
sonofsaf
Kushner’s a little kosher
The orthodox will pray
Much like Trumpers creepin’
MAGA mushrooms on display
‘Cause Donald Trump is lyin’
And romancin’ the far right
He’d blow a Proud Boy who’s gay and
An Oath Keeper who’s white
Jared Kushner’s a fuckin’ Jew
North Korea he will defend
Jared Kushner’s a fuckin’ Jew
Suckin’ Kim Jong Un
Russia’s in danger
Trump Vodka in a jar
Soon you’ll discover
An Orange Prolapse mushroom fart
Make America great
Insurrection you’ll deny
It’s our collective fate
When you keep on spreadin’ lies
Jared Kushner’s a fuckin’ Jew
North Korea he will defend
Jared Kushner’s a fuckin’ Jew
Suckin’ Kim Jong Un
Jared Kushner’s a fuckin’ Jew
North Korea he will defend
Jared Kushner’s a fuckin’ Jew
Suckin’ Kim Jong Un
Harvest Moon
Neil Young
Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away
But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night
Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon
When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart
But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eyes
Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon
Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon
I knew this parody seemed familiar. Why? Because I already wrote it. Different version though.
#1713. Kim Jong Un
From 1983 to the present, Neil Young has rocked the Burgh a grand total of 13 times.
Neil Young:
8-21-97 Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA *
9-21-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Farm Aid)
6-16-03, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA *
11-9-12, Peterson Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA *
9-16-17, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Farm Aid)
* - w/ Crazy Horse
The Big Lie 100: (#1226)
#1939. Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)
#1940. Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)
#1941. Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)
#1942. Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)#1943. Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)
#1944. Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)
#1945. Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)
#1947. Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)
#1948. Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)
#1949. Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)
#1950. Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)
#1951. Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)
#1952. Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)
#1953. Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)
#1954. Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)
#1955. Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)
#1956. Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)
#1957. Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)
#1958. A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)
#1959. Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)
#1960. Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)
#1961. Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)
#1962. Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)
#1963. Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)
#1964. Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)
#1965. Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
#1966. The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)
#1967. I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
#1968. Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)
#1969. Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)
#1970. I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)
#1971. Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)
#1972. Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)
#1973. Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)
#1974. Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1975. Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)
#1976. Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)
#1977. Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)
#1978. Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)
#1979. His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)
#1980. Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)
#1981. Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)
#1982. Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)
#1983. Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)
#1984. Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)
#1985. Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)
#1986. Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)
#1987. Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)
#1988. Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)
#1989. Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)
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