#2079. Ted Cruz

In the event of a dominipede (domino stampede), this year it would probably take place at 3 pm on Sunday, October 1.  Less than 10 days from now.  Eight NFL stadiums and 15 major league ballparks.   

Ouch.

It most certainly would be a case of "bad news traveling like wildfire."  Or in this case, an artificially generated wildfire.  And speaking of bad news... here's Ted Cruz.

Gotta be honest.  I like him more with the beard.  Previously, he just had that clean shaven, smarmy used car salesman look.  Not to denigrate the integrity of used car salesmen.

He thinks Biden will bow out in 2024 and they'll "parachute in" Michelle Obama.  Exceedingly doubtful.  But I've heard crazier.  But hear me out here.  Hey now, 'cause there's an Orange Prolapse with 91 felony charges lookin' to be the Republican nominee.  Like I said, crazier things have happened.

 

Ted Cruz
sonofsaf

Blah blah blah cum on Ted Cruz blah blah
Well Ted Cruz battles like a fat liar for the Trump shit show
Still Donald’s the fattest liar ha ha cock’s a mushroom, tiny show
He’s Ted Cruz and has a job to blow
Stormy Daniels on the double he’s cheating with a girl that hotel Lake Tahoe
He lied ‘bout the insurrection and coup d’etat doncha know
An Orange Prolapse joke provoke the woke an affair in Lake Tahoe
He’s Ted Cruz and has a job to blow
Stormy Daniels on the double he’s cheating with a girl that hotel Lake Tahoe
Big Macs in his mouth meat’s the best McDonald’s is to blame
Donald’s fate you’ll discover is all part of the game
He’s Ted Cruz and has a job to blow
Stormy Daniels on the double he’s cheating with a girl that hotel Lake Tahoe

Well he’s a dick in Mar-A-Lago an asshole and a pain
He’s a mother fucker and failed friend of a clown such a shame
He’s Ted Cruz and has a job to blow
Stormy Daniels on the double he’s cheating with a girl that hotel Lake Tahoe

 

Bad News
Johnny Cash

Ha ha ha come on bad news ha ha
Well bad news travels like wild fire goodnews travels slow
They all call me Wildfire ha ha cause everybody knows
I'm bad news everywhere I go
Always gettin' in a trouble and leaving little girls that hate to see me go
They tried to hang me in Oakland and the did in Francisco
But I wouldn't choke I broke their rope and they had to let me go
Cause I'm bad news everywhere I go
Always gettin' in a trouble and leaving little girls that hate to see me go
Now from north to south east to west the story is the same
From one state to another I have to change my name
Cause I'm bad news everywhere I go
Always gettin' in a trouble and leaving little girls that hate to see me go

Well now I've picked peaches in Georgia I lumberjacked in Maine
I've been hired fired and jailed in any town you can name
Cause I'm bad news everywhere I go
Always gettin' in a trouble and leaving little girls that hate to see me go

From 1957 to 1993, the Man In Black played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.  Never had the opportunity to see him perform live.  The combined vocal strength of Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon in Walk The Line could offer up the best duet in movie history.  No joke.  Certainly worthy of a dump.

A spectacular cemented Trump Dump right outside of Point State Park.  Note the embryonic clutches of the baby octopussy.  Spotted just ahead of tomorrow night's Pitt home game vs. North Carolina (-7.5) 

The Big Lie 100: (#1235)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1949.  Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)

#1950.  Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1951.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)

#1952.  Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)

#1953.  Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

#1954.  Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)

#1955.  Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)

#1956.  Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)

#1957.  Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)

#1958.  A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)

#1959.  Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1960.  Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)

#1961.  Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)

#1962.  Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

#1963.  Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)

#1964.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#1965.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1966.  The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)

#1967.  I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1968.  Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)

#1969.  Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)

#1970.  I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)

#1971.  Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)

#1972.  Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)

#1973.  Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)

#1974.  Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1975.  Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#1976.  Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1977.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)

#1978.  Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)

#1979.  His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)

#1980.  Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)

#1981.  Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)

#1982.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)

#1983.  Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)

#1984.  Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)

#1985.  Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)

#1986.  Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)

#1987.  Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)

#1988.  Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)

#1989.  Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)

#1990.  Ayotte (Slipknot --- Grateful Dead)

#1991.  Hawley (Polly --- Nirvana)

#1992.  Proud Boys Love Trump The Clown (The Boys Are Back In Town --- Thin Lizzy)

#1993.  Cornyn (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

#1994.  Mittens Romney (Hot Pastrami --- The Ronettes)

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Sweet Caroline --- James Taylor)

#1996.  John Cornyn (Red, Red Wine --- Neil Diamond)

#1997.  Timothy Shea (Come Out And Play --- The Offspring)

#1998.  Shithead Fred Keller (Rats In The Cellar --- Aerosmith)

#1999.  Timothy Shea (Games People Play --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2000.  Trump's A Fuckin' Orange Clown (Try That In A Small Town --- Jason Aldean)

#2001.  Aldean (Machine --- Black Flag)

#2002.  Aldean (Machine --- Violent Femmes)

#2003.  Chris Sununu (Out Of The Blue --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2004.  Aldean Cunt (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#2005.  Vance Is White And Gay (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#2006.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Billy Ocean)

#2007.  He's Braun (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2008.  Bishop Probes (Bishop's Robes --- Radiohead)

#2009.  Vance, Vance, Vance (Dance, Dance, Dance --- Neil Young)

#2010.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Aretha Franklin)

#2011.  Taylor Greene (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#2012.  An Asshole No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#2013.  Hillbilly J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Santana)

#2014.  Dolan (Stolen --- The Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2015.  Jim Justice (Blind Justice --- Agnostic Front)

#2016.  My God's Donald Trump (My God Is The Sun --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#2017.  Robert T. Bigelow (Moving In Stereo --- The Cars)

#2018.  Joshua Sills (Beverly Hills --- Weezer)

#2019.  Pritt Is An Orange Prolapse Fart (Quit Playin' Games With My Heart --- Backstreet Boys)

#2020.  Pudding Fingers (Crazy Fingers --- Grateful Dead) 

#2021.  Deace (Peace --- Judas Priest)

#2022.  Joshua Stills (Beverly Hills --- Circle Jerks)

#2023.  Deace (Peace -- Weezer)

#2024.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Powerman 5000)

#2025.  Scott Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2026.  Trevian Kutti (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#2027.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Rancid)

#2028.  CUM (Dumb --- Nirvana)

 

#2029.  Clark (Sparks --- Coldplay)

 

#2030.  DOJ Jeffrey Clark (Saturday In The Park --- Chicago)

 

#2031.  Deace (Grease --- Bee Gees)

 

#2032.  Abigail Jo Shry (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

 

#2033.  Abigail (Abigail --- King Diamond)

 

#2034.  Nauta's Really Gay (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

 

#2035.  Owens (Oceans --- Pearl Jam)

 

#2036.  Jew!  (Who? --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

 

#2037.  Shawn Still's A Creep (Until It Sleeps --- Metallica)

 

#2038.  Findling (Kindling --- Harry Brokensha & Nick Wilson)

 

#2039.  Doug Burgum (Bang The Drum --- Lindsey Buckingham)

 

#2040.  Puddin' Stain (Puddin' Taine --- Primus)

 

#2041.  Harrison Floyd (Into The Void --- Kiss)

 

#2042.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Moby)

 

#2043.  Sadow (Meatplow --- Stone Temple Pilots)

 

#2044.  Lawfare (I Swear --- All 4 One)

 

#2045.  Reddy Really Blows (Steady, As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

 

#2046.  Stormy's Chest (Phone Went West --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2047.  Lake's A Dummy And Cunt (Take The Money And Run --- Steve Miller)

 

#2048.  Lake's A Liar (Lake Of Fire --- Nirvana)

 

#2049.  Assclown (Lowdown --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2050.  Fuck Forty-Five (Love Is Alive --- Gary Wright)

 

#2051.  Lake Will Fuck You (Take Me With You --- Prince)

 

#2052.  Stephen Lee (Let It Be --- The Beatles)

 

#2053.  Pezzola's Bad News (Viola Lee Blues --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2054.  Crow (Snow --- The Chemical Brothers)

 

#2055.  Blow Chesebro (Go With the Flow --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

 

#2056.  Brandon Judd (Book Of Blood --- Armored Saint)

 

#2057.  David Cole (Rock And Roll --- Led Zeppelin)

 

#2058.  David Cole (Heart And Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)

 

#2059.  Senator Cruz (Second Hand News --- Fleetwood Mac)

 

#2060.  Elon (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2061.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz (I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz --- Elton John)

 

#2062.  Kari Lake (Crater Lake --- Liz Phair)

#2063.  Rehl (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2064.  Navarro (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2065.  Navarro (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#2066.  Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)

#2067.  Charles Roy (Corduroy --- Pearl Jam)

#2068.  Shutdown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2069.  Rectum of J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Carole King)

 

#2070.  Kim Jong Un (Harvest Moon --- Neil Young)

 

#2071.  Un (Soon --- My Bloody Valentine)

 

#2072.  Harlan Crow (Let It Snow --- Billy Idol)

 

#2073.  Crow (Low --- Cracker)

 

#2074.  Trump Dump's A Piece Of Shit (Trump Won And You Know It --- Natasha Owens)

 

#2075.  Trump Farts (Doll Parts --- Hole)

 

#2076.  Tuberville (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

 

#2077.  Trump Was Born To Fuck You (I Was Born To Love You --- Ray LaMontagne)

 

#2078.  Harrison Floyd (Nine Inch Nails --- Into The Void)

 

#2079.  Ted Cruz (Bad News --- Johnny Cash)

Please do not share this material with Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.