#496. He's Jolly Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby got out of a prison today... in my home state.

I actually conceived of this meme back when he got charged.  Then again, so did many.

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled the case had a procedural error somewhere along the way.  

I'll let the song speak for itself.

 

He’s Jolly Bill Cosby
sonofsaf

He’s jolly, Bill Cosby, you make the call, whoo
He’s jolly, Bill Cosby, you make the call
And he’s druggin’ and he’s rapin’
Doesn’t matter at all

Oh the Pennsylvania Supreme
Court is too far to the right
Now he’s out Bill Cosby
Fox News loves that he’s black not white

He’s jolly, Bill Cosby, you make the call
And he’s druggin’ and a rapin’
Doesn’t matter at all

Jello Puddin’ told me
“Bill, you’re losin’ all your pep”
He’s gonna stick it in ya
He spikes the drinks all by himself

He’s jolly, Bill Cosby, you make the call
And he’s druggin’ and a rapin’
Doesn’t matter at all, ahhhhh

He’s jolly, Bill Cosby, you make the call, whoo
He’s jolly, Bill Cosby, you make the call
And he’s druggin’ and a rapin’
Doesn’t matter at all

A comedy performer
‘Cause it used to be his thing
When he drugged them happily
He fuckin’ ring a ding dings

He’s jolly, Bill Cosby, you make the call
And he’s druggin’ and a rapin’
Doesn’t matter at all

Good Golly Miss Molly
Little Richard

Good golly, Miss Molly, sure like to ball, whoo
Good golly, Miss Molly, sure like to ball
When you're rockin' and a rollin'
Can't hear your momma call

From the early, early mornin'
'Til the early, early night
When the caught Miss Molly
Rockin' at the house of blue light

Good golly, Miss Molly, sure like to ball
When you're rockin' and a rollin'
Can't hear your momma call

Momma, poppa told me
"Son, you better watch your step."
If they knew poppa's momma
I have to watch my pa myself

Good golly, Miss Molly, sure like to ball
When you're rockin' and a rollin'
Can't hear your momma call, ahhhhh

Good golly, Miss Molly, sure like to ball, whoo
Good golly, Miss Molly, sure like to ball
When you're rockin' and a rollin'
Can't hear your momma call

I'm going to the corner
Gonna buy a diamond ring
When she hug me and kiss me
Make me ting-a-ling-a-ling

Good golly, Miss Molly, sure like to ball
When you're rockin' and a rollin'
Can't hear your momma call

 

Little Richard has played in Pittsburgh 5 times (from 1956 - 1998).  Syria Mosque twice, I.C. Light Amphitheater, Star Lake and even Three Rivers Stadium.  Although the last venue was admittedly after a Pirates/Cardinals game.  I missed 'em all.  And now he's gone.

Please do not share this material with Bill Cosby and/or the Pennsylvania State Supreme Court.

 

#495. American Lie

Ah, Don McClean's classic "American Pie."  Not a lot of people know this... but his song is "deep" in the Brad Paisley repertoire.

 

 

American Lie
sonofsaf

So, why-why, won’t the Orange Prolapse die
His fat ass is pretty heavy, and he makes children cry
Makin’ lots of noise he keeps on tellin’ big lies
Fuckin’, “He’s a piece of shit kinda guy
He’s a piece of shit kinda guy“


American Lie
sonofsaf

(radio-friendly alternative version)

So, bye-bye, Donald Trump told a lie
His big butt is pretty heavy, as he eats a large fry
He sometimes annoys but doesn’t drink don’t ask why
Thinkin’, this’ll make the Democrats cry
This’ll make the Democrats cry

Don McLean
American Pie

So, bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die"

Naturally, I just did the refrain for this one.  Admittedly a bit of a cop-out.  But hey, this song is hella long.  Naturally that's the rationale for offering an unprecedented, additional, alternative version.  Huzzah!

Brad has played Star Lake 10 times since 2001.  And don't forget Jambo a/k/a Jamboree in the Hills a/k/a Port-a-jon poppin' your pills.

But me and him go way back.  To the days of Linsly and West Lib.  How many Capitol Music Hall rehearsals?  How many band blasts?  How many times have I asked his father Doug to encourage his son to relay generic, undiscussable venue safety information to the masses?  (Hint: Everyone has a cell phone).

My point - I usually list the number of times I've seen a band or musician perform live.  But to be blunt... if Brad don't give a shit about me.  Well then I don't give a fuck about him.  More importantly, it would only be an estimate and I like to be precise.

Please do not share this information with Brad Paisley, Don McLean, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#494. Tshibaka

Who the fuck is Kelly Tshibaka?  Fair question.  She's the former Commissioner of the Alaska Department of Administration.  Whatever the hell that means.

Seems a bit pissed off, eh?

Here's the familiar background.  Trump despises Alaska's longtime Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski.  Why?  Because she voted to impeach his truculent ass.  So Trump's all in for Tshibaka.  Alaska could actually be interesting in 2022.  It's a closed primary (only Republicans can vote) and there's a possibility that Alaska's current Governor Mike Dunleavy might enter the race.  Not only him but maybe cast-off reality tv star Sarah Palin as well (doubtful).  Remember that imbecile?  She used to be the Governor.  And Fox News host Laura Ingraham too.  Who the hell even knew that bitch had a residence in Alaska of all places?

If any of these other candidates enter the race, would the Orange Prolapse support them instead?

Hard to say.  But for the time being, it's Tshibaka.

 

Tshibaka
sonofsaf

Tshibaka!
(Raaar, etc)
Kelly!
(Raaar, etc)
Tshibaka!
(Raaar, etc)
Kelly!
(Raaar, etc)
Kelly, is that you?
(Raaaring continues)
OooOOOOHWHAT A TRUMPER!

Chewbacca
Supernova

Chewbacca!
(Raaar, etc)
Chewie!
(Raaar, etc)
Chewbacca!
(Raaar, etc)
Chewie!
(Raaar, etc)
Chewie, is that you?
(Raaaring continues)
OooOOOOHWHAT A WOOKIE!

Never heard of the band Supernova.  Only that Champagne Supernova song by Oasis.  Come to think of it, I really like the vocal prowess of Gaz Coomes from the band Supergrass.

Please do not share this information with Kelly Tshibaka and/or any of the 2022 Alaskan candidates for United States Senate.

#493. Joe Lombardo

Yesterday, Clark County Republican Joe Lombardo announced his campaign for Nevada Governor.  He's basically the "Sheriff of Las Vegas."  So naturally he's gonna occupy the far right lane on a "restore law and order" platform.  Seems desperate to align himself with the residual Trumper base.

Sheriff Joe salutes the Orange Prolapse.

It's already a crowded Republican primary ticket.  And a few other high profile names could enter the fray.  So it could get pretty contentious.  Incumbent Governor Steve Sisolak (D) will likely be favored in 2022.  However, Nevada's generally regarded as a pure toss up.  The population of Las Vegas and Reno trend blue.  But the rest of the state is redder than Donald's eternal case of rosacea.

 

Joe Lombardo
sonofsaf

Joe Lombardo, you sound so fucking demented
You've been Mike’n the Pences mother and how
Oh, you're a retard
I know it’s election season
The voters appeasing you
In the here and now

Show off your seven deadly sins, Joe
All over Fox News cable
You blow the Orange Prolapse and have no regrets
But the President’s, not a king
That fat douchebag is unstable
Not to mention both his sons have hair that's wet

Joe Lombardo, oh, your sin city’s a blunder
Weight gain it’s no wonder, that buffet’s like home
And you’re in, oh urine well, it comes out of your cock and
Your penis is showing off its cop testosterone

Aren’t you offended by the Donald’s crimes
Deny the show as the Trumps all whine
The fake news sells his big crimes all the way
You’re choosin’ all the lies you know
Take the money now the dealing’s here to play

Joe Lombardo, you sound so fucking demented
Still Mike’n the Pences, it’s not too late
Dems may be gainin’, but there’s a rural vote for you
You’re gonna screw Nevada fuck you
(Screw Nevada fuck you)
You’re gonna screw Nevada fuck and we’ll just have to wait

 

Desperado
The Eagles

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You've been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
(Let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you before it's too late 

Eagles:

8-15-94, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

Since way back in 1974, The Eagles have frequented Pittsburgh a grand total of 13 times.  I saw 'em once. Good time.  Scalped the hell out of it as well.  Never cared much for the song Desperado.  Kinda drags.

Please do not share this information with Clark County Sheriff Joe Lombardo and/or any candidates running for Governor of Nevada in 2022.

#492. O Cardi B.

I often think about "baby bump bling."  Despite the fact that I have no children (except the cats), I'm seriously considering starting a line of premium "Orthodox Jew baby bump garb."  Mostly in the realm of colorful, yarmalke adornments and traditional Tzitzit.  Think in terms of Cardi B.... but with a George Costanza vibe.  I'm calling it "Oy Vey."  That's short for "Oy Voy is the Way."

Cardi B. shows off her zygotic, embryonic, fetalistic, hippity-hoppin' bump at last night's BET Awards.

 

 

O Cardi B
sonofsaf

O Cardi B, O Cardi B
Your baby bump is hanging
O Cardi B, O Cardi B
Your baby bump is hanging
It’s more than gunt the FUPA’s near
But midsection is not your rear
O Cardi B, O Cardi B
Your baby bump is hanging

O Cardi B, O Cardi B
We’ll measure you completely
O Cardi B, O Cardi B
We’ll measure you completely
Do not drink beer O Cardi B
Do not fuss when you pee pee
O Cardi B, O Cardi B
We’ll measure you completely

O Cardi B, O Cardi B
Your baby bump is hanging
A signal that you’re so fucked up
Your baby bump is hanging
Will all your might, and show and tell
No muff to dive that fishy smell
O Cardi B, O Cardi B
Your baby bump is hanging

 

O Christmas Tree
Unknown

O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Thy leaves are so unchanging
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Thy leaves are so unchanging
Not only green when summer's here
But also when it's cold and drear
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Thy leaves are so unchanging


O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Such pleasure do you bring me
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Such pleasure do you bring me
For every year this Christmas tree
Brings to us such joy and glee
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Such pleasure do you bring me

O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
You'll ever be unchanging
A symbol of goodwill and love
You'll ever be unchanging
Each shining light, each silver bell
No one alive spreads cheer so well
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
You'll ever be unchanging

Never seen Cardi B.  No desire really.  'Cause what if someone asked me, "Saf, what did you do last night?"  And I was forced to say, "Ooooh, yeah boy, I went to see Cardi B." 

Please do not share this material with Cardi B.

#491. Jill Baby Jill!

Politics has always had its fair share of dumbshit slogans and catchy jingles.  That'll probably never fade.  But things took a really bad turn for the worse when Alaska Governor Sarah Palin entered the VP fray back in 2008.  I realize that Mama Grizzly was an exemplary Christian hockey mom with an extensive brood of her own (Bristol, Trig, Track, Willow, and Piper).  Compliments of a welcoming vagina I suppose.  Three girls, two boys.  She should have named the kids (Clit, Cooch, Snatch, Dong, and Wang).  Honorable mention: Bong Hit.  Anyhoo, I digress.  

In my estimation, one of the worst slogans ever conceived was Palin's go-to line... drill baby drill, drill baby drill.  That is... until the Orange Prolapse came along with his endless MAGA nonsense.  Not to mention all of the accompanying remedial characterizations.  This person is good.  That person is bad.  I like so and so.  We hate so and so.   Strong and beautiful vs. weak and ugly, etc.  The only light at the end of the tunnel, is that no other politician, let alone human being, could possibly replicate his crap.  On second thought, perhaps a 3rd grader with a severe case of Down's syndrome on ritalin and Zyprexa.  Anyhoo, I digress, yet again.

First Lady Jill Biden has been tasked with trying to restore a smidgen of dignity to the White House.  An unenviable task after 4 years of plagiarized convention speeches, gaudy golden toilets, Slovenian white trash, and #BeBest cyber-bullying rhetoric.

Regardless, Jill made the latest cover of Vogue.  And oh yeah, she's a doctor.  Not an obnoxious hooker or some kind of perpetually constipated mail order escort.

So here's what I propose.  In the future, whenever Jill Biden takes the stage, I would encourage those in the crowd to welcome her with the throwback chant... "Jill baby Jill, Jill baby Jill."  You know, go comical retro.  It would drive Fox News personalities to the brink of insanity.

Jill baby Jill!
sonofsaf

Drill baby drill!
Sarah Palin

I ventured to a couple Sarah Palin rallies back in 2008.  Mostly out of demented curiosity.  I just wanted to see how gullible her diehard fans actually were.  As you may expect, I wasn't even remotely disappointed.

Particularly when I heard a crowd at Brush Run Park in St. Clairsville, Ohio start spontaneously chanting... "Mine baby mine! Mine baby mine!"  WTF?!?  Just when you think it couldn't get any worse.  

But then, two consecutive Obama terms later emerged an Orange Prolapse who ushered in a new era of inexplicable idiocracy.  The days of clever, sophisticated propaganda are long gone.  For about 30% of the population, it's strictly personal attacks repeated ad nauseum.  And THAT... is the legacy of Trump.

Please do not share this material with First Lady Dr. Jill Biden and/or former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

#490. E > Waste

This unusual sculpture was erected a few weeks ago near the G-7 summit in Carbis Bay (Cornwall, United Kingdom).  "Mount Recycle-More."  Interesting concept in the realm of "electronic waste."  Constructed from discarded cell phones, tape decks, tablets, calculator watches, and even a rumored TRS-80 a/k/a Trash Eighty.

Leaders from Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the UK and the US.  No Orange Prolapse.  He's Gone.  Although I would've enjoyed the colorful, artistic, electronic interpretation of that clown wig.  

(mark: 1:32:33 - One of my favorite Drumz > Space segments.  Great show too.  6-22-85 (Alpine Valley, WI)

E > Waste
sonofsaf


Drumz > Space
Grateful Dead

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

The Other Ones, 11-29-02, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Dead, Bob Dylan, 8-6-03, Germain Amphitheater, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 11-13-15, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH *

Dead & Company, 8-13-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Dead & Company, 6-15-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-28-17, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 6-20-18, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 7-5-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Dead & Company, 7-6-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Here's a thought.  Maybe the time has finally come for the Dead to rename "space."  May I recommend "piss" instead.  Since so many fans take in most of Drumz... but then suddenly realize how there's still almost an hour to go.  And they had go better pee.  Hence, Drumz > Piss.  It's also okay to urinate during Easy Answers, Women are Smarter and Wave to the Wind.  Just my take.

Please do not share this information with G-7 leaders and/or recycling enthusiasts.

#489. Gimme Delta

Yep, Covid's making a comeback with this new "Delta" variant.  Naturally, it's Dr. Anthony Fauci's fault. 

The Orange Prolapse gives Fauci the "dink eye."  Why?  Because Trump's a loser piece of shit that stinks.

You know... because Fauci loves China and hates the United States.  What a fucking traitor... you know, to Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Donald Dump --- the true patriots.  Perhaps this is why so many Americans, despite the virus, have experienced overwhelming sickness.

 

 

Gimme Delta
sonofsaf

Ooh, virus is threatening
So many died today
If the variant delta
Ooh yeah you’re getting sick today

More, millions
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today
More, millions
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today

Ooh, that damn Covid is creepin’
Oh, we should pray
Churns strife in the stock market
Bullshit’s here to stay

More, millions
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today
More, millions
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today

Dis-order, just take your shot today
Just take your shot today
Dis-order, just take your shot today
Just take your shot today
Dis-order, just take your shot today
Just take your shot today

Mmm, virus is threatening
So many died today
Gimme, gimme Delta
Or you’re getting sick today

Dis-order
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today
Just take your shot today

It’s like a blood, blister
Stop the steal shit today
Stop the steal shit today
Stop the steal shit today
Stop the steal shit today
Stop the steal shit today
Shit today, shit today

 

Gimme Shelter
Rolling Stones

Ooh, a storm is threatening
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Ooh yeah I'm gonna fade away

War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Ooh, see the fire is sweepin'
Our streets today
Burns like a red coal carpet
Mad bull lost its way

War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Rape, murder, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, yeah, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Mmm, a flood is threatening
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or I'm gonna fade away

War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

I tell you love, sister
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
Kiss away, kiss away

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Blind Melon opened... don't remember)

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (Pearl Jam opened... bad ass abbreviated setlist)

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA (AWOL Nation opened... whatever the hell that was/is)

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN (Rascal Flatts opened... skipped 'em)

Easily one of my favorite Stones tunes.  I wish they'd play some more of their more obscure tunes.  Emotional Rescue, Street Fighting Man, Undercover of the Night, Monkey Man, She's So Cold, etc.  Instead of the old reliable standards... Start Me Up, Satisfaction, etc.  With such an extensive library it's difficult to forego some of the well-known classics.  But I think their fans, for the most part, would dig it.  Groovy!

Here's to hoping they come around in the summer of 2022 I suppose.

Please do not share this material with Dr. Anthony Fauci, former President Donald J. Trump, virologists and/or epidemiologists.

#488. Vito Scuffle

The Sopranos is easily the best television series in the history of HBO, if not all of television.  

Perhaps the biggest curve ball was Vito being spotted in a gay bar in Brooklyn.  Uh, I don't think anyone saw that one cuming.

Vito Scuffle
sonofsaf

Vito sucked him off you say, he’s pitchin’ cock
But then Johnny Cakes kissed, and he’s hard as a rock
In a faggot bar ‘cause Brooklyn ain’t far, Sal made a stop
Like Village People from the good ship Lollipop

Next stop, Fort Lee, Vito received a beat down, pool cue too
He said, “It’s a joke say nothin’ Sal
Some douchebag from Yonkers Sal
Gimme a load“

Vito, whoa, oh-oh-oh
This isn’t funny, he likes to blow
Vito’s an a-recchion
Vito, whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
He said, "It’s a joke say nothin’ Sal
Some douchebag from Yonkers Sal
Yo gimme a load“

Vito be chuggin’, checkin’ Little V until murder he wrote
Sayin’, “Medication caused it," could get a doctor’s note
He be fakin’ up the big lie Trumpin’ up a major crime, he isn’t woke
Sayin', "It’s a joke say nothin’ Sal
Some douchebag from Yonkers Sal
Yo gimme a load“

Vito, whoa, oh-oh-oh
This isn’t funny, he likes to blow
Vito’s an a-recchion
Vito, whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
He said, "It’s a joke say nothin’ Sal
Some douchebag from Yonkers Sal
Yo gimme a load“

Vito, whoa, oh-oh-oh
This isn’t funny, he likes to blow
Vito’s an a-recchion
Vito, whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
“It’s a joke say nothin’ Sal“

 

Lido Shuffle
Boz Scaggs

Lido missed the boat that day, he left the shack
But that was all he missed, and he ain't comin' back
At a tombstone bar in a juke joint car, he made a stop
Just long enough to grab a handle off the top

Next stop, Chi-town, Lido put the money down, let it roll
He said, "One more job oughta get it
One last shot 'fore we quit it
One for the road"

Lido, whoa, oh-oh-oh
He's for the money, he's for the show
Lido's a-waitin' for the go
Lido, whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
He said, "One more job oughta get it
One last shot 'fore we quit it
One more for the road"

Lido be runnin', havin' great big fun until he got the note
Saying, "Tow the line or blow it, " and that was all she wrote
He be makin' like a beeline headin' for the border line, goin' for broke
Sayin', "One more hit oughta do it
This joint, ain't nothin' to it
One more for the road"

Lido, whoa, oh-oh-oh
He's for the money, he's for the show
Lido's a-waitin' for the go
Lido, whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
"One more job oughta get it
One last shot, then we quit it
One more for the road"

Lido, whoa, oh-oh-oh
He's for the money, he's for the show
Lido's a-waitin' for the go
Lido, whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
"One more job oughta get it" 

 

Such a phenomenal tune.  Never gets old.

Since 1973, Boz Scaggs has played the Burgh 13 times.  We got scagged for free.

Boz Scaggs:

July 16, 2017, Hartwood Acres, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with Joseph Gannascoli (Vito) and/or any members of the Sopranos cast and crew.

#487. Donald's Big Lie

Maricopa County is a big deal.  Fourth most populous county in the United States mother fucker.  And now it's ground zero for the stop the steal bullshit.  Been there done that.  Trust me, I've done the Scottsdale Slide.  

Alright enough with the preamble.  Suffice to say, the big lie is BIG NEWS!

Here's how all of this nonsense pans out.  The Cyber Ninjas will eventually report some actual numbers from their exhaustingly strenuous audit.  Finally!  We get the results.  But at the same time, the Cyber Ninja entity has this collective epiphany.  

Cyber Overlord, Doug Logan

You see, under the terms of the contract, Doug Logan is "legally required" to only share the actual results with an exclusive representative from the Arizona Republican State Senate. But that individual must remain nameless and faceless.  Hey, it's for their own physical safety.  Of course this all happens behind closed doors anyway.

The lamest default strategy would be to claim that the results were "simply inverted" via hypothetical internet tampering.  Possible.  But I doubt it.  Just too dumbshit-oriented.  OMG, everything got hacked! And then flipped!

Arizona:

Joe Biden --- 1,672,143 (49.4%)

Donald Trump --- 1,661,686 (49.1%)

 

Maricopa County:

 

Joe Biden --- 1,040,774 (50.3%)

Donald Trump --- 995,665 (48.1%).  I know... this margin is seemingly unthinkable, unimaginable, preposterous.  Biden broke the million vote threshold.  But Trumpy Bear came up short.  Much like his orange mushroom dick. 

 

Butt... my hunch... and this might possibly be the biggest, fattest ass in the history of anal... the AZ State Senate won't release the precise vote tallies.  Why?  Well, because there was simply too much manipulation, and delays, and interference, and tampering... and China, and Russia, and North Korea, etc.  You know... days turn to weeks, space lasers, traces of bamboo, faulty equipment, the radical left, Antifa, and so on and so forth.  And of course, there's some credible evidence that the entire audit was rigged from the start.  Many and possibly all the ballots were counterfeit to begin with.  Rigged!

 

However, in their infinite wisdom, the AZ State Senate reports that it seems as though Trump may have won by "a significant margin."

 

Saf, so what's the gist of what you're sayin'?  Uh, duh.  It's merely the umpteenth conspiratorial-leaning narrative in the Trump playbook.   It's called... pass the buck.  The key being... remain relevant at any cost and just don't make it too complex.  Or Trump might fuck it up.  Which he seemingly does on a routine basis regardless. 

Hey, never give up hope.  Eh?  Just as long as you keep the Big Lie going.  I

It's not about the numbers.  It never was.  It's about the show.  It's all about perpetuating the urban legend of an Orange Prolapse.

 

Donald’s Big Lie
sonofsaf

Cyber Ninjas don’t ask why
Their clown is orange not white
Trump is gainin’ Maricopa’s back in play
The seeds you sew
Donald Trump is here to stay, hey hey

Searchin’ for the bad bamboo
See how that China Virus is not pretty
Little feet and hands are shitty
Donald’s big lie is driving us insane, hey hey

Donald’s big lie GOP cries
You have to fight and pray it’s so wrong (so wrong)
On like Donkey Kong

Donald’s big lie GOP cries
You have to fight and pray it’s so wrong (so wrong)
On like Donkey Kong

Fuck you and the Proud Boys race
‘Cause you’ll never make your case
The consternation, Donald’s big lie for the takin’
Oath Keepers are so rotten to the core

Oh Donald’s big lie GOP cries
You have to fight and pray it’s so wrong (so wrong)
On like Donkey Kong

Giuliani too
Paint streams down his face on cue
Sidney Powel is askew
And Jared Kushner’s still a Jew

Giuliani too
Paint streams down his face on cue
Sidney Powel is askew
And Jared Kushner’s still a Jew

Donald Trump, you’re orange not white
But Donald Junior a total blunder
Now isn’t it any wonder
Outta line we’ll dismember your dick
We’ll dismember you today

Oh Donald’s big lie GOP cries
You have to fight and pray it’s so wrong (so wrong)
On like Donkey Kong

Giuliani too (sigh)
We have heard all the fake news (why)
Sidney Powell is askew (boo)
And Jared Kushner’s still a Jew

Mr. Blue Sky
Electric Light Orchestra

Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin' everybody's in the play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day, hey hey

Runnin' down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly in the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mr. Blue Sky is living here today, hey hey

Mr. Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

Mr. Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
A celebration, Mr. Blue Sky's up there waitin'
And today is the day we've waited for

Oh Mr. Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

Hey there Mr. Blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Everybody smiles at you

Hey there Mr. Blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Everybody smiles at you

Mr. Blue, you did it right
But soon comes Mr. Night creepin' over
Now his hand is on your shoulder
Never mind I'll remember you this
I'll remember you this way

Mr. Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

Hey there Mr. Blue (sky)
We're so pleased to be with you (sky)
Look around see what you do (blue)
Everybody smiles at you

Jeff Lynne's ELO:

8-16-18, Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, MI

8-1-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (Which is worse?  Domino's, Little Caesar's, or paint?  Hint: they all suck).  When it comes to pizza, we usually veer in the direction of a Neopolitan from Giorgio's on Western Avenue.  North Side.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or Cyber Ninja CEO Doug Logan.

#486. Ducey

Trump is searching for a Republican candidate to challenge Governor Doug Ducey (R-AZ).  Why?  Because the Arizona gubner ignored his phone call on live tv.  This resulted in the Orange Prolapse turning a brighter shade of crimson red.

 

So here's my suggestion.  From here on out, when a Fox News host invariably ridicules Doug Ducey, (you know, because he took a reasonable, principled stand against Orange Colonic), I would encourage them to go "straight up, homely, dimwitted, functional retard."  Whenever any of 'em specifically mention Doug Ducey by name, make sure to invoke the Seinfeld scene where Elaine gets propositioned. 

Ducey
sonofsaf

I Love Ducey
The Ducey Show
Here’s Ducey

Seinfeld
script

I Love Lucy
The Lucy Show
Here’s Lucy

 

Never much cared for the name Lucille Ball, Loose Lucy, and/or the Lucy character who'd pull the football away from Charlie Brown.  They can all pretty much suck the Peppermint Patty.

Please do not share this information with Governor Doug Ducey (R-AZ).

#485. Max Miller

The Orange Prolapse vengeance tour makes its first official 2021 revenge stop in Wellington, Ohio at the iconic Lorain County Fairgrounds.  That means he'll plop down, piss everyone off, beg for money, and get the hell out... as quickly as is humanly possible.  Trump is campaigning "aggressively" for Republican primary candidate Max Miller. 

Why Maxipad you ask?  Well, their current representative, Anthony Gonzalez, had the unmitigated audacity to vote for Trump's impeachment following the artificially generated stampede at the U.S. Capitol.  And then had the incrementally impudent effrontery to vote for an actual investigation into the 1-6 domestic terrorist attack.   

Trump's not Pro-Max.  He's just Anti-Anthony.

Should be an interesting test case to determine if Trump still has a hold on the imbecile faction of the Republican party.  Which, to be honest, probably consists of a majority of Ohio Republicans.  I suppose time will tell.

Max Miller
sonofsaf

Filled with so much bullshit
Masturbating dream
Abortion with coat hanger
The President from Manhattan
Stormy Daniels pornstar
Seething hate and ire
Shitting himself in Depends is why

He is the Max Miller
This is the Max Miller
Mar-A-Lago hated
Orange Prolapse disease
A grifter so fucking unwise
Drop to your god damn knees

The bus you’ll get thrown under
Big Mac is a meal
Sinful gluttony Achilles heel
He is the Max Miller
This is the Max Miller
Ammunition is the bullets
Prouder than the boys pogrom
Consider why we have to settle
The NRA loves their guns

Put him out to pasture
Coward he ain’t brave
Dignity is fractured
Even Jesus Christ can’t save
The dumbshits insurrected
On tv it was live
Legions of voters praying that Trump dies

He is the Max Miller
This is the Max Miller
Money steal Max Miller
Fake news steal Max Miller

He is the Max Miller
This is the Max Miller
He is the Max Miller
This is the Max Miller

Max! Max! Miller! Miller!
Max! Max! Miller! Miller!

Can't stop the Max Miller
Max (Max)

 

Painkiller
Judas Priest

Faster than a bullet
Terrifying scream
Enraged and full of anger
He is half man and half machine
Rides the metal monster
Breathing smoke and fire
Closing in with vengeance soaring high

He is the painkiller
This is the painkiller
Planets devastated
Mankind's on its knees
A savior comes from out the skies
In answer to their pleas

Through boiling clouds if thunder
Blasting bolts of steel
Evils going under deadly wheels
He is the painkiller
This is the painkiller
Faster then a laser bullet
Louder than an atom bomb
Chromium plated boiling metal
Brighter than a thousand suns

Flying high on rapture
Stronger free and brave
Nevermore encaptured
They've been brought back from the grave
With mankind resurrected
Forever to survive
Returns from Armageddon to the skies

He is the painkiller
This is the painkiller
Wings of steel painkiller
Deadly wheels painkiller

He is the painkiller
This is the painkiller
He is the painkiller
This is the painkiller

Pain! Pain! Killer! Killer!
Pain! Pain! Killer! Killer!

Can't stop the painkiller
Pain (pain)

Judas Priest:

8-28-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-16-08, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this material with Anthony Gonzalez (R-OH), Congressional candidate Max Miller and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#484. Milley Talks Smack

Yesterday, General Mark Milley laid the smackdown on Matt Gaetz.  I would've taken it one step further.  "Congressman, with all due respect, I'm not sure I should be taking long-term, strategic military advice from an accused pedophile.  Well, perhaps if you're officially exonerated in a court of law.  But until then sir..."

Gaetz condescendingly shakes his head at the 2:10 mark.  His congressional aides, sensing the poor optics, are labeling it as merely a rebranding attempt.   Gaetz is said to have been surveying interest in the "critical-pedo-chutzpah" lane.  Hey, it's a growing segment of the elderly white male population in the Florida panhandle.

Milley Talks Smack
sonofsaf

Milley talks smack, critical race theory’s whack
Critical race theory’s whack, do not disobey
Milley talks smack, critical race theory’s whack
Critical race theory’s whack, do not disobey

Milley’s well known
In the military zone
He made it on his own
In the human race

Now Milley talks smack, critical race theory’s whack
critical race theory’s whack
Do not disobey

Now Milley talks smack, critical race theory’s whack
critical race theory’s whack
Do not disobey

Milley all the while
Came to Congress in style
GOP’s living in denial
Wishing Trump had stayed

Milley ain’t Matt Gaetz’s brother
A general like no other
But soon he would discover
How Matt Gaetz got laid

Now Milley talks smack, critical race theory’s whack
critical race theory’s whack
Do not disobey

Now Milley talks smack, critical race theory’s whack
critical race theory’s whack
Do not disobey

Now Milley talks smack, critical race theory’s whack
critical race theory’s whack
Do not disobey

Jilly’s On Smack
Primus

Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back, for the holidays
Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back, for the holidays

Jilly left home
Went to pick her own bone
She made her own
In the marketplace

Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For these holidays

Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays

Jilly had a smile
That spanned over a mile
She left him standing in the aisles
Of the big parade

Jilly always phoned her mother
Emailed daily to her brother
'Til she took a junkie lover
And began to fade

Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays

Jilly's on smack and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays

Jilly's on smack and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For them holidays

Primus:

7-21-93, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)

3-14-98, Beaver Dome, Monaca, PA

6-22-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)

5-22-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

4-14-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

7-30-17, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

11-2-17, Goodyear Theatre, Akron, OH

6-8-18, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

As far as live music goes, Primus tops my "to do" list for this summer/fall.  No better way to celebrate the Covid comeback than Les Claypool.  I'd like to see this whole Farewell to Kings tribute more than once. 

So Saf, what are the other major shows?  Alright let's do a dozen in NO PARTICULAR ORDER of preference.  Strictly by the date.

7-15-21: Jimmy Buffett, Star Lake.  I really don't give a damn about the show.  These days, when I think of King Parrothead, the term "repetitious abject stupidity" pops into my head.  I just wanna check out the new generic post-Covid benchmark for what constitutes "middle-aged shenanigans, partying, and alcohol-infused tailgating."   

7-28-21: Black Crowes, Star Lake (The true venue name hath returned.  Let us speak of it ad nauseum and heap praise accordingly).  Yeah, dude, I'm just glad it's back to Star Lake.  Finally! 

8-3-21:  James Taylor, PPG - probably end up bailing last minute.  No sweat.

8-10/11:  One of the Phish concerts in Hershey.  Zip up, zip back.  It does bother me that they're playing indoors.  Not really covid-related.  Just why not embrace the weather?  It's mid-August.

8-15-21:  Brit Floyd, Stage AE (spot-on high profile cover band).  Not a lot of people know this, but Stage AE is the only place in Pittsburgh where 1 = 2.  Hint: think in terms of Scrabble.

8-26-21:  Kiss, Star Lake.  The final tour.  Where I have heard that one before?  Oh yeah, in the year 2000.  Seen 'em nine times since.

8-27-21:  Dave Matthews Band, Star Lake.  Depends on if Kiss kicks my axe.

8-31-21:  The Chrisagis Brothers are playing at the Buckeye Local High School gymnasium along with special guest B- celebs Erik Estrada and Lonnie Anderson.  I met Estrada 10 years ago.  Aside from my deep Chrisagii ties, me and Ponch are long overdue.  Chrisaga-palooza?  Meh, doubtful.  But you never really know for sure.

9-3-21:  KORN, again, the Lake

9-4-21:  Terrapin Flyer in Lawrencville.  Favorite Dead cover band.  I almost like these guys more than DSO.  I know it's crazy, but it's true.  Damn true.  Never seen a concert at The Thunderbird.

9-17-21:  Judas Priest, Covelli Centre in Youngstown, OH.  F'in A... literally, figuratively, and physically.

9-27-21:  Alice Cooper.  Yep, back to Youngstown.  This time it's a new outdoor amphitheater --- The Youngstown Foundation Amphitheater.  Seriously, if I had known, I would've offered up a hundred bucks for the naming rights.  You know... son of shed.

10-5-21:  Primus.  Stage AE.  

10-10-21:  Christopher Cross.  Carnegie Library in Homestead.  Probably a game time decision but leaning affirmative. 

...and throw in a few Dead & company shows.  TBD.

Please do not share this material with Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL) and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mark Milley.

Snapshot of Mark Milley's career:

	Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Chief of Staff of the United States Army United States Army Forces Command III Corps International Security Assistance Force (joint) 10th Mountain Division 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light)
Battles/wars	Operation Just Cause Operation Uphold Democracy Operation Joint Endeavor Iraq War War in Afghanistan
Awards	Defense Distinguished Service Medal (2) Army Distinguished Service Medal (4) Defense Superior Service Medal (3) Legion of Merit (3) Bronze Star Medal (4)
Alma mater	Princeton University (BA) Columbia University (MA) Naval War College (MA)

 

Snapshot of Matt Gaetz's career:

Graduated from Florida State University, facial cum proud boy with a B.S. in bullshit.

Had a "legal threesome" with a teenage boy named William and his girlfriend Mary. 

Shared nude pics of underage female internet escorts with fellow colleagues on the House floor.

Rejected in a quest for an anchor job with right wing, extremist cable network OANN.

#483. Stampede

Dozens of cows escaped their collective fate and broke loose from a slaughterhouse about 10 miles Southeast of Los Angeles.  They roamed the streets of the Pico Rivera neighborhood randomly entering and exiting people's backyards.  It's being hailed as the 2021 Bovine Breakout.  Local vendors made "There's The Beef" t-shirts commemorating the event and sold them accordingly.

 

One cow was executed mirroring the death of fallen police officer Brian Sicknick from the 1-6 artificially generated stampede on the U.S. Capitol.  Perhaps the Orange Prolapse and his family would consider selling limited edition "I Love Trump!  Sicknick was weak!  #BadCop" t-shirts.  Hey, if you can make a buck...  well, the bottom line speaks loudest.  Right?

 

Stampede
sonofsaf

Candede (overture)
Leonard Bernstein

Fittingly, there's a local Pittsburgh band named Stampede.  They're of the country/rock milieu.  

Never seen 'em.  But in the past, I did inadvertently tag them on facebook a few times with my stampede awareness prevention concerns.  Hint: Everyone has a cell phone.

Anyway, here's their tour dates.  

If you go see 'em, tell 'em AGSAF sent you.  

Hmm, maybe I could become their manager.  Or at the very least, a "country music rockin' sugar daddy" of some sort.  Dare to dream.

#482. Roodie!

Ha Ha indeed.

Rudy Giuliani just got stripped of his license to practice law in the state of New York.  Apparently, all the election lies finally caught up with him.

A committee with The Supreme Court of the State of New York, Appellate Division, First Judicial Department said that Giuliani "communicated demonstrably false and misleading statements to courts, lawmakers and the public at large in his capacity as lawyer for the Orange Prolapse."

Furthermore, they concluded that Rudy's conduct "immediately threatens the public interest."

Sounds scary, eh?  So here's what I propose.  In the future, as a reminder, whenever a journalist refers to Giuliani, he should scream... RUDY!  But in the transcript, it shalt be read as "Roodie."  A proper tribute to the epic Caddyshack scene.

 

Roodie!
sonofsaf

Doodie!
Caddyshack  

See?  This way, whenever someone shrieks "RUDY"... he'll be referenced and irrevocably alluded to as a turd.  Or if you will, piece of shit.  Excrementilicious indeed.

I'd take it a step further and suspend his "cybersecurity" company too ---  Giuliani Security and Safety.

Internet savant who didn't understand the concept of a domain name.

I've never had an encounter with Rudy Giuliani.  Though rest assured, if I do, he'll get the Roodie Doodie treatment.  I will do everything in my power to make him eat shit.  Or at the a bare minimum, smear his face with feces.  In other news, here's a thorough explanation as to why Rudy's head is actually his ass.  No joke. 

Please do not share this material with Donald Trump attorney and former ex-NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

#481. Spears

Back in 2007, Britney Spears had a nervous breakdown and shaved her head.

Then, she went wolfman berserker and attacked a defenseless Toyota 4Runner with an oversized golf umbrella.  

 

Personally speaking, I think the SUV deserved it.  The Toyota Board of Directors summed it up best... "Oh what a feeling!"

Anyhoo, now she's heading to court to fight her estranged father's conservatorship.  Since she's worth an estimated 60-70 million and isn't even permitted to remodel her kitchen without the consent of daddio... well, that's kind of a big deal.

Spears
sonofsaf

Stealing her pay ‘cause her dad thinks she’s cray
Takes all the bling she’s got
Breaking the bank screw her as you please
Judge was paid and bought
Shouldn’t she get a break today

Cause pop life really blows
It’s all the fortune and the fame
And the money’s all a game
She wants to be all she can be (ah-ah)
She’s gonna file a claim (ah-ah)
She’s gonna receive all the fortune from her name

Cheers
Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart-Angelo

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna be where you can see (ah-ah)
Our troubles are all the same (ah-ah)
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

 

I was a big fan of Shelley Long back in the day.  "She's got a little yellow squirt gun!"  

But when Kirstie Alley entered the fray, that's when the show really started its downhill descent.

Naturally, Kirstie Alley is a hardcore supporter of the Orange Prolapse.

Maybe the world makes sense after all.

 

Please do not share this information with Britney Spears, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

#480. Frank Clark

The fifth highest paid NFL Defensive End just got arrested for felony firearm possession in Los Angeles.  Kansas City Chief's Frank Clark was pulled over for an unspecified violation and the cop saw the tip of an Uzi hangin' out of a gym bag.  #Fail. 

I don't know.  Maybe resist the temptation to be driving around L.A. in a quarter million Lamborghini Urus SUV with a submachine gun in the backseat.  Just my take.

They call it the "Rambo Lambo."

 

 

Poor guy.  Previous mugshot

In 2012 Clark was arrested for felony home-invasion charges.

In 2014 Clark was arrested for domestic violence.

In 2021 Clark was arrested for felony firearm possession.

 

Frank Clark
sonofsaf

Pig turned on his lights
Lambourghini thing
Just pulled over it’s me
Derek Chauvin evil
And he’s gonna take a knee
Nigger just so young not old
I feel the stroke of fear
Why am I out of breath
Could it be the end is near

'Cause I'm druggin’ and I’m thuggin’
Uzi submachine gunning
And I’m takin’ it to the house
'Cause I'm druggin’ and I’m thuggin’
Uzi submachine gunnin’
They’re lockin’ me in jail Frank Clark
Frank Clark

When I complained cop got sore
And called me a bitch
Donut he took a bite
I sacked the quarterback at last
Who is often white
Insurrection very wild
Black Lives Matter is not right
It’s no matter how Antifa feels
The world’s filled with strife

'Cause I'm druggin’ and I’m thuggin’
Uzi submachine gunning
And I’m takin’ it to the house
'Cause I'm druggin’ and I’m thuggin’
Uzi submachine gunnin’
They’re lockin’ me in jail Frank Clark
Clark!

What will I tell my spouse
Who pretends to be my wife
I think she might act shitty
You know try to fuck my life
Wait’n’see what the charges will be
It’s something that I dread
Damn if I was only white
Be getting off instead

'Cause I'm druggin’ and I’m thuggin’
Uzi submachine gunning
And I’m takin’ it to the house
'Cause I'm druggin’ and I’m thuggin’
Uzi submachine gunnin’
They’re lockin’ me in jail Frank Clark

The Dark
Metal Church

It's way past midnight
There's a howling wind
Oh God what can it be?
Something out there evil
And it's coming straight for me
The house is dark and very cold
I know there's no one here
Why am I scared to death
Just petrified with fear

'Cause I'm shakin' and I'm thinkin'
Of something evil lurking
And waiting for me in the house
'Cause I'm shakin' and I'm thinkin'
Of something evil lurking
And waiting for me in the dark
The dark

When I opened up the door
And snapped on the switch
The room was filled with light
Then something black and very fast
Fled upon my sight
What I feared most as a child
Was the coming of the night
Now my horrors have become quite real
My nightmares breathe new life

'Cause I'm shakin' and I'm thinkin'
Of something evil lurking
And waiting for me in the house
Yes, I'm shakin' and I'm thinkin'
Of something evil lurking
And waiting for me in the dark
Dark!

What is it in the house
That the darkness brings to life?
I sense their eyes upon me
As I grab a butcher knife
Whatever it is that waits for me
It hides beneath my bed
If I try to sleep tonight
By morning I'll be dead!

'Cause I'm shakin' and I'm thinkin'
Of something evil lurking
And waiting for me in the house
Yes, I'm shakin' and I'm thinkin'
Of something evil lurking
And waiting for me in the dark

That singer has a respectable, old school, "snarling tang."  But there is no substitute for Mike Howe.

Metal Church:

4-18-89, Newport Music Hall, Columbus, OH

3-39-16, Altar Bar, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with one of the highest paid defensive players in the NFL --- Kansas City Chiefs Defensive End Frank Clark.

5 year, $104 million dollar contract.  62.3 million guaranteed.  $19 million signing bonus.  Average salary 20.8 million.