Oh the Congressional triumphs of Lloyd Smucker (R-PA)...
Schmucker speaks to a throng of Orange Prolapse enthusiasts. |
Since 2017, his biggest accomplishment was dodging a metal detector on his way to cast a vote in Congress. Him and a few other MAGA maniacs (Andrew Clyde and Louie Louie Gohmert) were all also fined $5,000 for their disobedience. They promptly appealed their docked pay to the Supreme Court who just issued a ruling today... declining to hear the case.
In common parlance this is known as a "judicial go fuck yourself."
Seems that the Republican party has now officially become the "lawyer up" party. Their slim House majority doesn't really understand the concept of passing legislation or doing their jobs. But they sure know how to follow in the footsteps of their beloved dear leader. Drill baby drill? Uh no, it's more like "sue baby sue."
Joe Biden's in town today! Huzzah.
I wouldn't mind hearing the president's views regarding the "Trump Dump resistance" movement. The opposition has generally relied on natural elements like rain, wind, and flies. But the ultimate solution is greater funding for additional city-county sanitation employees. More brooms, shovels, pressure washers, etc.
Public works. Union strong!
Smucker
sonofsaf
He’d blow on Donald’s tiny pecker
He’d blow that mushroom fuckin’ dry
Lloyd has a cock that’s even smaller
His asshole haunts the smell you die
Forty-five has got no morning wood
Pennsylvania blows for Trump it should
Smucker
He’ll share his shittin’ like a baby
Depends diaper jokes can be wild
A V.P. Noem ‘cause she’s a “crazy, lady.”
A fake news clown and fat orange child
Forty-five has got no morning wood
Pennsylvania blows for Trump it should
Smucker
He’d blow on Donald’s tiny pecker
He’d blow that mushroom fuckin’ dry
Lloyd has a cock that’s even smaller
His asshole haunts the smell you die
Forty-five has got no morning wood
Pennsylvania blows for Trump it should
Smucker
Smucker
Smucker
Strutter
Kiss
I know a thing or two about her
I know she'll only make you cry
She'll let you walk the street beside her
But when she wants she'll pass you by
Everybody says she's looking good
And the lady knows it's understood
Strutter
She wears her satins like a lady
She gets her way just like a child
You take her home and she says, "Maybe, baby."
She takes you down and drives you wild
Everybody says she's looking good
And the lady knows it's understood
Strutter
I know a thing or two about her
I know she'll only make you cry
She'll let you walk the street beside her
But when she wants, she'll pass you by
Everybody says she's looking good
And the lady knows it's understood
Strutter
Strutter
Strutter
My 3rd parody of the Kiss classic:
#588. Conor (regarding our beloved Congressman Conor Lamb)
#2221. Trumper (regarding those who worship at the colonic bulge of the Orange Prolapse)
#2521. Smucker
From 1975 to 2021, KISS has destroyed the Burgh a grand total of 28 times.
Kiss:
3-27-97, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV
5-26-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
8-21-03, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-4-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
12-13-09, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
7-29-10, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-2-12, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
8-24-14, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
8-26-16, Covelli Centre, Youngstown, OH
3-30-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-13-21, The Pavilion at Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA
The Big Lie 100: (#1656)
#2216. For Trump (Her Strut --- Bob Seger)
#2217. Mark Green (Green Beans --- Animal Collective)
#2218. Song For The Trumped (Song For The Dumped --- Ben Folds Five)
#2219. Trumped (Chumped --- Joyce Manor)
#2220. Lahmeyer (Desire --- U2)
#2221. Trumper (Kiss --- Strutter)
#2222. Prolapse Stain: Forty-Five (Morning Train: Nine To Five --- Sheena Easton)
#2223. Strong (Wrong --- Lindsey Buckingham)
#2224. Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Alice Cooper)
#2225. Perry's Pissed (Cherry Twist --- Crystal Method)
#2226. Go Musk Yourself (Go Fuck Yourself --- Two Feet)
#2227. Perry (Cherry - U.F.O.)
#2228. Strong Is A Clown (Wrong Side Of Town)
#2229. Trumpy Little Bitch And Cunt (Crazy Little Thing Called Love --- Queen)
#2230. Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Testament)
#2231. Christian Ziegler (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)
#2232. Forty-Five (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)
#2233. Tesla Sucks (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)
#2234. 5K (Birthday --- Paul McCartney)
#2235. Florida State Got Fuckin' Screwed (Overweight But Over You --- The Vaselines)
#2236. Kennedy (Ecstasy --- PJ Harvey)
#2237. Mr. Kevin Cramer (Mr. Entertainer --- Men At Work)
#2238. Kennedy (Faithfully --- Journey)
#2239. Strong (Wrong --- Waylon Jennings)
#2240. DeNiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)
#2241. Swift (Rift --- Phish)
#2242. Tay Tay Tay (Say Say Say --- Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney)
#2243. Travis (Krampus --- Houndmouth)
#2244. Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Creed)
#2245. Hostetter (Shoplifter --- Green Day)
#2246. Donald Trump Is An Orange Clown (London Bridge Is Falling Down --- Cocomelon)
#2247. Donald Trump Is A Retard (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star --- Olivia Newton-John)
#2248. Bland Is A Cunt (Band On The Run --- Paul McCartney)
#2249. Kennedy (Destiny --- Journey)
#2250. Dictator (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)
#2251. Kenneth Paxton (Love Boat Captain --- Pearl Jam)
#2252. The Digital Mugshot Edition (To Defy The Laws Of Tradition --- Primus)
#2253. Trump Tower (Sunflower --- Neil Diamond)
#2254. Kid Rock Will Dine (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)
#2255. Playin' The Browns (Send In The Clowns --- Barbara Streisand)
#2256. Foxmania (Albania --- Nicholas Colasanto / Cheers Episode)
#2257. Guy Reschenthaler (Dollar For Dollar --- They Might Be Giants)
#2258. Reschenthaler (Dollar, Dollar --- PJ Harvey)
#2259. Kid's Cock (We Rock --- Dio)