Trump's top 2 lawyers recently ditched him.
|James Trusty left, John Rowley center, Orange Prolapse right
They had serious doubts about their client's fundamental defense strategy. "They're coming after me... so they can get to you! But I'm standing in their way." Incidentally, that particular argument is best made if you say it in a "Trumpy dumbshit" voice.
I sometimes wonder if any of my asymmetric, generational warfare concerns made the trek... to the vicinity of a Mar-A-Lago toilet.
In other news, here's an incredibly rare "Saffy Selfie."
Taylor Swift set an Acrid Turd Stadium attendance record last night (73,117).
|Let's Go Swifting! 2015 (the year I moved to Pittsburgh)
|Before: Spotted directly outside Gate B. 6-17-23.
|After: Spotted directly outside Gate B. 6-18-23.
The main takeaway being.... last night, some Swiftie became a Shitty. Ahh, the innocence of youth.
Mister Rowley, wishes Donald was dead
Oh, Mister Rowley, Donald Trump is inbred
All the while he acted so drastic
With a coup d’etat brawl
Stormy and her chest is so plastic
Hey, maybe he’d Better Call Saul
Mr. Harming, Ron DeSixweeks ma-nure*
The fetus farming, no abortions no more
Reproduction is so overrated
That’s for what it is worth
Believing the lies of his MAGA
Donald’s fatter than his McWorth
Mister Rowley, Trump’s a liar of course
Mister Rowley, Donald has no remorse
The tanning bed crimes of a faggot
His golden toilet stall
Stormy and her fake tits so plastic
Ranting that his penis is small
Trump wants to be president
He wants your dollars and cents
A job to blow, a job to blow no consent, yeah
Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head?
Oh, Mr. Crowley, did you talk to the dead?
Your life style to me seemed so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all the people with magic
Yeah, you waited on Satan's call
Mr. Charming, did you think you were pure?
Mr. Alarming, in nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred
Manifest on this Earth
Conceived in the eye of a secret
And they scattered the afterbirth
Mr. Crowley, won't you ride my white horse?
Mr. Crowley, it's symbolic, of course
Approaching a time that is classic
I hear that maidens call
Approaching a time that is drastic
Standing with their backs to the wall
Was it polemically sent
l want to know what you meant
I want to know, I want to know what you meant, yeah
My 5th parody of the Ozzy classic.
#1065. Adam Crowley (Pittsburgh sports fill-in for Super Genius Mark Madden)
#1066. Dr. Crowley (Fox News host Monica Crowley)
#1434. Mrs. Smiley (Tiffany Smiley, Republican candidate for U.S. Senate in the state of Washington)
#1511. Clarence Thomas (a supreme embarrassment)
#1925. Mr. Rowley (former Trump attorney)
Ozzy Osbourne has played the Burgh a grand total of 15 times. He's probably the "highest profile heavy metal rocker" who has consistently eluded me. Never seen him.