I'm very concerned about President Jimmy Carter's inevitable funeral. Because eventually a great man will pass. And predictably, the Orange Prolapse will be in attendance and make this historic occasion all about himself.
I imagine Trump has already picked out a gaudy golden coffin for his own viewing. And a song for his own funeral. Almost certainly gonna be Lee Greenwood's Proud To Be An American.
Instead of that customary faux-patriotic dribble, may I humbly suggest the J-6 choir perform my parody of the Bob Dylan classic "I Shall Be Released."
Trump Shall Be Deceased
sonofsaf
Donald ain’t a king he’s a disgrace
Donald Trump’s a fat ass and a queer
Please dismember this basket case
Coup d’etat plans the puppeteer
Trump wants to fight he’s whinin’
The Be Best clown in defeat
Saudi cash cow, Coco Chow bow
Trump shall be deceased
Donald Trump wants Stormy’s affection
Donald will build a great big wall
But his hair it needs an inspection
Because he’s balder than us all
Trump wants to fight he’s whinin’
The Be Best clown in defeat
Saudi cash cow, Coco Chow bow
Trump shall be deceased
Orange Prolapse has a plan he’s not well-endowed
His mushroom penis is a shame
Tiny dong I fear should not be allowed
More Viagra 'cause he’s ashamed
Trump wants to fight he’s whinin’
The Be Best clown in defeat
Saudi cash cow, Coco Chow bow
Trump shall be deceased
I Shall Be Released
Jerry Garcia
They say everything can be replaced
They say every distance is not near
So I remember every face
Of every man who put me here
I see my light come shinin'
From the west down to the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released
They say every man needs protection
They say that every man must fall
Yet I swear I see my reflection
Somewhere so high above this wall
I see my light come shinin'
From the west down to the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released
Now yonder stands a man in this lonely crowd
A man who swears he's not to blame
All day long I hear him shouting so loud
Just crying out that he was framed
I see my light come shinin'
From the west down to the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released
Never saw the Jerry Garcia Band. Should have shuffled off to Buffalo in 1993 when I was offered a ride. But I didn't.
Fortunately, I did catch a "slew" of shows while the middle finger-less man was still alive.
Even wrote a book about it.
Grateful Dead:
04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN