#607. Take It Beasley

Slot receiver a/k/a slit receiver Cold Beasley is a hot commodity.

I just signed a 4 year, $29 million dollar contract with the Bills.  But it still feels like I'm missin' somethin'.  Just can't figure out what it is.  

Perhaps Cole Beasley is an anti-dentite bastard (semi-obscure Seinfeld reference).  Regardless, he really should step up and get the vaccine.  Along with Lamar Jackson and Kirk Cousins.  What the fuck is wrong with these people?  Oh yeah, it's like 40% of the adult American population.  Gotta be honest here.  About half the country is absolutely certain that "Jesus Christ died for their sins."  Truth be told, I have zero idea what that even means.  My point --- If that's the case, it's not really much of a stretch to believe that the Orange Prolapse cares deeply about the welfare of your average American.

Wouldn't it be historically hysterical if the Steelers defeated the Bills in their Orchard Park opener via a Covid forfeit?  How does that work anyway?  With Vegas, the bookies, the line, the money line, future win/loss totals, the over/under, etc?  I guess everything just gets nullified/canceled and goes off the board.  

I'm probably the only NFL fan who's looking forward to the first official forfeit.  Hopefully, it's one of the Florida teams.  Mostly to expose the Governor Ron DeSantis asshole variant.  

 

Take It Beasley
sonofsaf

Well, he’s a-shootin’ all his load
That Buffalo’s fuckin’ cold
He’s got China virus on his mind
Tucker wants to blow him
Hannity will show him
Cole won’t get the shot in time

Take it Beasley, take it Beasley
That god damn shot in your arm might leave you hazy
Moderna makes you a man
Johnson and Johnson has a plan
Just shoot some Pfizer in your ass
And take it Beasley

Well, we’re a-sportin’ Jenna Horner
In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Watch her on the tv
She’s a girl, hardcore
So foxy and more
Wonderin’ if she’ll ever meet me

Cum in his mouth
Semen down South
He’s gonna blow
And drink your blood
There isn’t a doubt
Cole’s aloof and he has sinned
And he will never have any friends
So move on up, he’s Jefferson
And take it Beasley

Well, he’s shooting all his load
That Buffalo’s fuckin’ cold
Got a girl in trouble on his mind
Pregnant with another
Maybe he’ll discover
Cheats on him all the time

Take it Beasley, take it Beasley
That god damn shot in your arm might leave you hazy
Cum in his mouth
Semen down South
He’s gonna blow
And drink your blood
There isn’t a doubt

Fuck you in the Beasley
You oughta take it Beasley

 

Take it Easy
The Eagles

Well, I’m a-running down the road
Tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on my mind
Four that wanna own me
Two that wanna stone me
One says she's a friend of mine

Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand
And take it easy

Well, I'm a-standing on a corner
In Winslow, Arizona
Such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord
In a flat-bed Ford
Slowin' down to take a look at me

Come on, baby
Don't say "Maybe"
I gotta know
If your sweet love
Is gonna save me
We may lose and we may win
Though we will never be here again
So open up, I'm climbin' in
So take it easy

Well, I'm running down the road
Trying to loosen my load
Got a world of trouble on my mind
Lookin' for a lover
Who won't blow my cover
She's so hard to find

Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy
Come on, baby
Don't say "Maybe"
I gotta know
If your sweet love
Is gonna save me

Oh we got it easy
We oughta take it easy

 

The Eagles:

8-15-94, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this information with Buffalo Bills receiver Cole Beasley.