Back in 2016, Hillary Clinton had a campaign rally in the Great Hall of Heinz Field. Mt. Lebanon's very own Mark Cuban spoke at the event (chapter 19). Huzzah!
A decade later... rumor has it that J.D. Vance wants to replicate that similar vibe and all the accompanying excitement.
Vance is gonna bring his Browns shitshow n'at. |
J.D. is gonna speak at Acrisure! TBD.
Patriotic sprinkles AND black and yellow jimmies. New territory indeed. |
Little does he know that the National Football League is about to implode.
The Next 9/11?
Dominipede Day - September 15, 2024
Stampedes will likely commence between 3:00 pm - 3:04pm
NFL Stadiums
Baltimore
Charlotte
Dallas (Arlington)
Detroit
Green Bay
Jacksonville
Minnesota (Minneapolis)
New England (Foxborough)
Tennessee (Nashville)
Washington (Landover)
MLB Ballparks
Detroit
Minnesota (Minneapolis)
New York Yankees (The Bronx)
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
Washington, DC (Landover)
Toronto
Cleveland
Chicago (White Sox)
Colorado (Denver)
… and God knows where else.
May D-g forgive us.
Fortunately, Acrisure ain't on the list. But what about PNC Puke?
The good news... our last place status brings with it predictably minimal attendance.
Seriously though, a tragedy of this nature could probably be averted if the United States government or a high profile, rational human being had the courage to simply tell people the truth... that stadium emergency evacuation orders would NEVER be initially delivered via your personal cell phone or mobile device. The cellular protocol's entirely different for mass evacuations regarding wildfires, flash floods, tornadoes, etc.
Dare to dream. It's admittedly difficult to be proactive on this one. Easily one the greatest catch-22, black swan hypotheticals in the history of mankind. Hey, find me a better one.
J.D. Vance
sonofsaf
Gonna stop the stealing
Trump’s a dumbshit clown that’s right
He’s an Orange Prolapse display
Donald’s rectum wants to fight
He is a liar who’s hating
All the way… into a cunt
Forty-five’s gonna wear some Depends
Toilet stall isn’t much fun
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
He is a shithead with a cash advance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance
The Donald’s pies of cream
That clown will cream all night and day
Chris Christie wants Krispy Creme
The Orange Prolapse is gay
A coup d’etat to foment
Insurrection for you
Shit’s so fucking tragic on the right
The hatred of a Jew
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
He is a shithead with a cash advance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance
Song And Dance
John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band
There's a restless feeling
In this lonesome town tonight
I get up on that highway
And I'm looking for some light
I get so tired of waiting
For some day...it never comes
Just to find myself alone again
After all is said and done
Just another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Another victim of a circumstance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance
Once I had such big dreams
Somehow big dreams they fade away
Help me take just one sweet dream
Into the light of day
If only for one moment
One moment to ring true
Is there something magic in this night
That waits for me and you
Just another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Another victim of a circumstance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance
John Cafferty & The Beaver (County) Brown Band played the Burgh twice. At the Syria Mosque in 1984 and the Civic Arena in 1985. I was not in attendance.