#2710. J.D. Vance

Back in 2016, Hillary Clinton had a campaign rally in the Great Hall of Heinz Field.  Mt. Lebanon's very own Mark Cuban spoke at the event (chapter 19).  Huzzah!

A decade later... rumor has it that J.D. Vance wants to replicate that similar vibe and all the accompanying excitement.  

Vance is gonna bring his Browns shitshow n'at.

J.D. is gonna speak at Acrisure!  TBD.

Patriotic sprinkles AND black and yellow jimmies.  New territory indeed.

Little does he know that the National Football League is about to implode.

 

The Next 9/11?

Dominipede Day - September 15, 2024

Stampedes will likely commence between 3:00 pm - 3:04pm

 

NFL Stadiums

Baltimore
Charlotte
Dallas (Arlington)
Detroit
Green Bay
Jacksonville
Minnesota (Minneapolis)
New England (Foxborough)
Tennessee (Nashville)
Washington (Landover)

MLB Ballparks

Detroit
Minnesota (Minneapolis)
New York Yankees (The Bronx)
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
Washington, DC (Landover)
Toronto
Cleveland
Chicago (White Sox)
Colorado (Denver)

… and God knows where else.
May D-g forgive us.

 

Fortunately, Acrisure ain't on the list.  But what about PNC Puke?  

The good news... our last place status brings with it predictably minimal attendance.

Seriously though, a tragedy of this nature could probably be averted if the United States government or a high profile, rational human being had the courage to simply tell people the truth... that stadium emergency evacuation orders would NEVER be initially delivered via your personal cell phone or mobile device.  The cellular protocol's entirely different for mass evacuations regarding wildfires, flash floods, tornadoes, etc.

Dare to dream.  It's admittedly difficult to be proactive on this one.  Easily one the greatest catch-22, black swan hypotheticals in the history of mankind.  Hey, find me a better one. 

 

J.D. Vance
sonofsaf

Gonna stop the stealing
Trump’s a dumbshit clown that’s right
He’s an Orange Prolapse display
Donald’s rectum wants to fight

He is a liar who’s hating
All the way… into a cunt
Forty-five’s gonna wear some Depends
Toilet stall isn’t much fun

It’s Senator J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
He is a shithead with a cash advance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance

The Donald’s pies of cream
That clown will cream all night and day
Chris Christie wants Krispy Creme
The Orange Prolapse is gay

A coup d’etat to foment
Insurrection for you
Shit’s so fucking tragic on the right
The hatred of a Jew

It’s Senator J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance
It’s Senator J.D. Vance
He is a shithead with a cash advance
Fake tits a stormy romance
In Ohio J.D. Vance

 

Song And Dance
John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band

There's a restless feeling
In this lonesome town tonight
I get up on that highway
And I'm looking for some light

I get so tired of waiting
For some day...it never comes
Just to find myself alone again
After all is said and done

Just another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Another victim of a circumstance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance

Once I had such big dreams
Somehow big dreams they fade away
Help me take just one sweet dream
Into the light of day

If only for one moment
One moment to ring true
Is there something magic in this night
That waits for me and you

Just another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance
Just another song and dance
Another victim of a circumstance
Taking just another chance
On another song and dance

John Cafferty & The Beaver (County) Brown Band played the Burgh twice.  At the Syria Mosque in 1984 and the Civic Arena in 1985.  I was not in attendance.

The Big Lie 100: (#1836)

#2566.  Vance (Chance --- Big Country)

#2567.  Donald Trump Ain't Devout (That's What It's All About --- Brooks & Dunn)

#2568.  Royce White (Love Bites --- Judas Priest)

#2569.  Royce Isn't White (Fight For Your Right --- Beastie Boys)

#2570.  Trump's A Cunt (Light My Love --- Greta Van Fleet)

#2571.  Vincent Fong (We Belong --- Pat Benatar)

#2572.  Fong's A Clown (Long Way Down --- Goo Goo Dolls)

#2573.  Vincent Fong In Trump Tower (All Along The Watchtower --- Grateful Dead)

#2574.  Red Lobster (Rock Lobster --- B-52's)

#2575.  Robert Jr. (Way Cool Jr. --- Ratt)

#2576.  Daines The Cunt (Chains Of Love --- B.B. King)

#2577.  John McGuire (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#2578.  John McGuire (Start The Fire --- Metal Church)

#2579.  John McGuire (I'm On Fire --- Bruce Springsteen)

#2580.  Bill Lee (Billy --- Judge Smails)

#2581.  McGuire (Crossfire --- Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble)

#2582.  McGuire (Live Wire --- Motley Crue)

#2583.  McGuire (Hang Wire --- Pixies)

#2584.  Tim Sheehy (Faithfully --- Journey) 

#2585.  No Tim Sheehy (No Sympathy --- Bob Marley)

#2586.  Joseph McGuire (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#2587.  Tim Sheehy (Thirty Three --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#2588.  Jared's A Jew (No One Like You --- Scorpions)

#2589.  Kicker Harrison Butker (The Mother of All Fuckers --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2590.  McGuire (Hang Fire --- Rolling Stones)

#2591.  Fuck Harrison Butker (Hello From The Gutter --- Overkill)

#2592.  U.S. Jews (U.S. Blues --- Grateful Dead)

#2593.  Jeff Van Drew (Black And Blue --- Van Halen)

#2594.  Alex Jones (Game Of Thrones --- HBO)

#2595.  Ed Martin (The Curtain --- Phish)

#2596.  Trumpin' (Women --- Def Leppard)

#2597.  Mike Roman (Bad Omen --- Megadeth) 

#2598.  Trump Is A Clown (Farewell For Now --- Greta Van Fleet)

#2599.  Sam Brown (This Town --- Neil Young)

#2600.  Sam Brown (Showdown --- E.L.O.)

#2601.  Sam Brown (Ghost Town --- The Vaccines)

#2602.  Sam Brown's A Clown (Don't Let Me Down --- The Beatles)

#2603.  Lies Of Nancy Mace (Eyes Without A Face --- Billy Idol)

#2604.  Trump Romancer (Tiny Dancer --- Elton John)

#2605.  Downing (Drowning --- Radio Company)

#2606.  Orange Prolapsin' Fart (Listen To Your Heart --- Roxette)

#2607.  Donald's Dildo Toys (Come On Feel The Noize --- Quiet Riot)

#2608.  Trump Dumps Ain't A Crime (One Day At A Time --- Cristy Lane)

#2609.  All You Need Is Trump (All You Need Is Love ---The Beatles)

#2610.  O'Brien (O'Brien --- Seinfeld episode)

#2611.  Tenney Is A Whore (Penny On The Floor --- The Clarks)

#2612.  Trump Is Great (Born Too Late --- The Clarks)

#2613.  Gabe (Babe --- Styx)

#2614.  Doug Burgum's A Cunt (I Want A New Drug --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2615.  Pastor John Mark Burns (As the World Burns --- Kreator)

#2616.  Deepfake (Jailbreak --- Anthrax)

#2617.  Buckhout (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#2618.  Deepfaker (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2619.  Donald Trump (Tainted Love --- Soft Cell)

#2620.  Donald Trump (Icky Thump --- White Stripes)

#2621.  Steve Daines (The Plains --- Wilco)

#2622.  Deepfaker (Heartbreaker --- Free)

#2623.  Trump's A Clown (All Right Now --- Queen w/ Paul Rodgers)

#2624.  Donald Trump Is Tragic (Listen To The Music --- Doobie Brothers)

#2625.  Greenwood (Falsehood --- Alpha Wolf)

#2626.  Orange Prolapse (Built To Last --- Grateful Dead)

#2627.  The Donald's A Clown From Florida (The Devil Went Down To Georgia --- Charlie Daniels Band) 

#2628.  Trump Dump (Love Dump --- Static-X)

#2629.  Missouri Doctor Bob Onder (Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder --- Dean Martin)

#2630.  Bobb (Job --- Iggy Pop & The Stooges)

#2631.  Kremer (Dreamer --- Supertramp)

#2632.  Amy Fuckin' Kremer (Jesus, My Redeemer --- Chris Tomlin)

#2633.  Amy Kremer (Jesus Screamer --- Sodom)

#2634.  Donald Trump Is Shitty (Isn't It A Pity --- My Morning Jacket)

#2635.  McGuire (Crossfire --- Judas Priest)

#2636.  Arizona Cunt Nancy Cottle (If I Could Make Love To A Bottle --- Weird Al Yankovic)

#2637.  Cottle Fuck (Bottled Up --- DEVO)

#2638.  Grothman (Loves The Orange Prolapse --- Caution: Do Not Stop On Tracks --- Grateful Dead)

#2639.  Crooks Will Kill (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

#2640.  Priebus Is Fuckin' White (Jesus Is Just Alright --- Doobie Brothers)

#2641.  Priebus (Jesus --- Velvet Underground)

#2642.  He'll Defend Donald Reince Priebus (What A Friend We Have In Jesus --- Alan Jackson)

#2643.  Priebus Cuming From A Stormy Wet Dream (Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam --- Nirvana)

#2644.  Rubio (I Don't Know --- Beastie Boys)

#2645.  Cao (Pow --- Beastie Boys)

#2646.  Kamala (Shambala --- Beastie Boys)

#2647.  Priebus Is Red (Jesus Is Dead --- The Exploited)

#2648.  Usha Vance (In A Trance --- Malcolm Todd)

#2649.  Donald's Jism (Aneurysm --- Nirvana)

#2650.  Rubio (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2651.  Mark Green (Irene --- Grateful Dead)

#2652.  Cheatle Is A Fuckin' Cunt (Needle And The Damage Done --- Neil Young)

#2653.  Kimberly Cheatle (Everyday People --- Sly & The Family Stone)

#2654.  Timmy (Timmy --- South Park)

#2655.  Tim Burchett's Dick (Is Not Long) (Don't Forget Me: When I'm Gone --- Glass Tiger)

#2656.  Donald's Dumpin' (Gets Ya Pumpin' --- Bob Seger)

#2657.  J.D. Vance (Army Ants --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2658.  Vance, Motherfucker, Vance! (Dance, Motherfucker, Dance! --- Violent Femmes)

#2659.  J.D. Vance (And We Danced --- The Hooters)

#2660.  Bitch Forty-Five (Switch 625 --- Def Leppard)

#2661.  Trumpin', Dumpin', Feedin' (Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' --- Journey)

#2662.  Nancy Mace (Off My Face --- Justin Bieber)

#2663.  The Trump Towers (The Small Hours --- Metallica)

#2664.  News Faker (Jawbreaker --- Judas Priest)

#2665.  The V.P. Vance (The Safety Dance --- Men Without Hats)

#2666.  Heap (Creep --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2667.  Heap (Creep --- Radiohead)

#2668.  Make America Great Again (Make America Great Again --- Brian Kelley)

#2669. 'Merican Nation (Terrapin Station --- Grateful Dead)

#2670.  Stormy's Chest Is Plastic On Fake News (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John) 

#2671.  Senator Vance (Shut Up And Dance --- Walk The Moon)

#2672.  America (Hysteria --- Def Leppard)

#2673.  Steele (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2674.  Shitshow Paula Stark (Rainbow In The Dark --- Dio)

#2675.  Paula A. Stark (Shot In The Dark --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2676.  David Shoar (He's A Whore --- Cheap Trick)

#2677.  Tim Walz (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#2678.  Trump Fucks You (I Thank You --- Bonnie Raitt)

#2679.  Big Lies And Adin Ross (Behind The Crooked Cross --- Slayer)

#2680.  Priebus (Jesus -- Phil Thompson)

#2681.  The Big Lie (Frizzle Fry --- Primus)

#2682.  Michelle Morrow (Broken Arrow --- Grateful Dead)

#2683.  The Orange Prolapse Stain (The Last Waltz Refrain --- The Band)

#2684.  Roger Stone (I Alone --- Live)

#2685.  Orange Prolapse Stain (Hamburger Train --- Primus)

#2686.  We'll Sever Donald's Bone (You'll Never Walk Alone --- Liverpool Anthem)

#2687.  Tim Walz Inspires (Great Balls Of Fire --- Chris Isaak)

#2688.  Donald's Fat (My Friend Fats --- Primus)

#2689.  Paula Allene Stark (Lurking In The Dark --- King Diamond)

#2690.  Priebus Stop The Steal (Jesus Take The Wheel --- Carrie Underwood)

#2691.  Kennedy Is Old (Ecstasy Of Gold --- Metallica)

#2692.  Spartz (Hearts --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2693.  Kremer (Dreamer --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2694.  Robert F. Kennedy (Don't Be my Enemy --- Wang Chung)

#2695.  Far-Out Liz Murrill (About A Girl --- Nirvana)

#2696.  Gabbard (Shattered --- Rolling Stones)

#2697.  Sparks (Sparks --- Coldplay)

#2698.  Michael Sparks (Tiny Spark --- American Hi-Fi)

#2699.  Let's Stop The Stealing (That's How I Feeling --- Jack White)

#2700.  Robert Morris (Wordless Chorus --- My Morning Jacket)

#2701.  Gabbard (Shattered --- Dokken)

#2702.  McCormick (Ton Of Bricks --- Metal Church)

#2703.  Go To Hell (Top Yourself --- The Raconteurs)

#2704.  Taylor Greene (Stella Blue --- Grateful Dead)

#2705.  Peter Thiel (Pittsburgh Steel --- Warren Zeiders)

#2706.  Peter Thiel (Dipped In Steel --- Flaming Lips)

#2707.  Mahomes (Them Bones --- Alice In Chains)

#2708.  Thiel (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2709.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Eric Clapton) 

#2710.  J.D. Vance (Song And Dance --- John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band)

Please do not share this material with Senator J.D. Vance (R-OH) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.