#2734. Crank's Small

Yesterday, the Orange Prolapse endorsed Jeff Crank in Colorado's 5th District.

Jeff Crank is running to represent the Fantastic People of Colorado's 5th Congressional District!
 
Jeff is a Conservative Warrior who has incredible support from his Community. In Congress, he will Grow the Economy, Secure our Borders, Stop Migrant Crime, Support our Incredible Military/Vets, Champion American Energy Independence, and Defend our always under siege Second Amendment. He is also endorsed by my friends, Congressmen Jim Banks and Ronny Jackson, and many other Highly Respected America First Patriots.
 
Jeff Crank has my Complete and Total Endorsement - HE WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!

In other news, last weekend the Steelers traveled to Denver, CO and eked out a defensive struggle (13-6) against the Broncos. 

Let's dedicate this special Stiller Dump to Jeff Crank. 

 

Ouch!  Acrisure Stadium Proximity Alert!  Spotted outside Stage AE.  Tonight it's Megadeth.  I remember back when Megadeth was a great band (late 80's).  Nowadays, all their shit sounds hyper-redundant and just really annoying.

 

Anyhoo, this parody's about the Jeff Crank's tiny mushroom penis.

 

 

Crank’s Small
sonofsaf

Masturbating whore on call
That mother fucker, is gonna build a wall
Let’s find the clues for an insurrection
Donald’s the boss of treason

Crank’s small, yeah
Golden toilet stall (ooh)

Jeff’s a cunt, he’s a vaginal crime
He’s fucking you too, and always outta line
Jeff’s gonna stop with stealin’
Jeff’s gonna insert tampon

Crank's small, ow
Golden toilet stall

Fuck yeah, Bud Light
Is a taste that ain’t right
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
A taste that ain’t right
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
Big con, so unkind
Far right!
Ow!

Jared’s a Jew that Kushner’s from hell
Shake and bake ain’t kosher
He’s fakin’ the news
He’s king of the Jews
His toilet stall has tampons

Crank’s small (oh)
Golden toilet stall(uh huh)

Fuck yeah, Bud Light
A taste that ain’t right
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
So sad gonna fight
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
A taste that ain’t right
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
Big con, so unkind
Far right!
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
A taste that ain’t right
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
Big con, so unkind
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
A taste that ain’t right
Fuck yeah, Bud Light
Big con, so unkind
Far right!

 

Crank’s Small
sonofsaf

If you're waiting for a call
There's double trouble, the pressure of it all
This line is due for communication
Not if you've lost all reason

Crank call, yeah
Ain't no fun at all (ooh)

They want love, they want a pantomime
To cut you in two, that's a sexual crime
They dig the dirt they deal in
They dig the dirt they feed on

Crank call, ow
Ain't no fun at all

Oh yeah, all right
We don't waste time tonight
Oh yeah, all right
Why waste time tonight?
Oh yeah, all right
I'm on, I don't mind
Tonight
Ow!

There's nothing new in heaven or hell
Hate has taken control
They're breakin' the kids
They're beating the bids
And that is all they feed on

Crank call (oh)
Ain't no fun at all (uh huh)

Oh yeah, all right
Why waste time tonight?
Oh yeah, all right
I'm mad and I'm right [?]
Oh yeah, all right
Why waste time tonight?
Oh yeah, all right
I'm on, I don't mind
Tonight
Oh yeah, all right
Why waste time tonight?
Oh yeah, all right
I'm on, I don't mind
Oh yeah, all right
Why waste time tonight?
Oh yeah, all right
I'm on, I don't mind
Tonight

Great tune.  Surprised it wasn't released as a single.  Then again, Rebel Yell has absolutely no filler.

It's my second parody of Crank Call.  A couple years ago, I penned #1504.  Ganahl (a tribute to Heidi Ganahl, the failed 2022 Republican candidate for Governor of Colorado)

Billy Idol has rocked the cradle of the Burgh a grand total of 4 times.  

Stanley Theater (1984), Star Lake (1990), I.C. Light Amphitheater (2001), UMPCS Events Center (2023)

Saw him last year at Robert Morris University.

Billy Idol:

5-1-23, UPMC Events Center, Coraopolis, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1860)

#2566.  Vance (Chance --- Big Country)

#2567.  Donald Trump Ain't Devout (That's What It's All About --- Brooks & Dunn)

#2568.  Royce White (Love Bites --- Judas Priest)

#2569.  Royce Isn't White (Fight For Your Right --- Beastie Boys)

#2570.  Trump's A Cunt (Light My Love --- Greta Van Fleet)

#2571.  Vincent Fong (We Belong --- Pat Benatar)

#2572.  Fong's A Clown (Long Way Down --- Goo Goo Dolls)

#2573.  Vincent Fong In Trump Tower (All Along The Watchtower --- Grateful Dead)

#2574.  Red Lobster (Rock Lobster --- B-52's)

#2575.  Robert Jr. (Way Cool Jr. --- Ratt)

#2576.  Daines The Cunt (Chains Of Love --- B.B. King)

#2577.  John McGuire (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#2578.  John McGuire (Start The Fire --- Metal Church)

#2579.  John McGuire (I'm On Fire --- Bruce Springsteen)

#2580.  Bill Lee (Billy --- Judge Smails)

#2581.  McGuire (Crossfire --- Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble)

#2582.  McGuire (Live Wire --- Motley Crue)

#2583.  McGuire (Hang Wire --- Pixies)

#2584.  Tim Sheehy (Faithfully --- Journey) 

#2585.  No Tim Sheehy (No Sympathy --- Bob Marley)

#2586.  Joseph McGuire (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#2587.  Tim Sheehy (Thirty Three --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#2588.  Jared's A Jew (No One Like You --- Scorpions)

#2589.  Kicker Harrison Butker (The Mother of All Fuckers --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2590.  McGuire (Hang Fire --- Rolling Stones)

#2591.  Fuck Harrison Butker (Hello From The Gutter --- Overkill)

#2592.  U.S. Jews (U.S. Blues --- Grateful Dead)

#2593.  Jeff Van Drew (Black And Blue --- Van Halen)

#2594.  Alex Jones (Game Of Thrones --- HBO)

#2595.  Ed Martin (The Curtain --- Phish)

#2596.  Trumpin' (Women --- Def Leppard)

#2597.  Mike Roman (Bad Omen --- Megadeth) 

#2598.  Trump Is A Clown (Farewell For Now --- Greta Van Fleet)

#2599.  Sam Brown (This Town --- Neil Young)

#2600.  Sam Brown (Showdown --- E.L.O.)

#2601.  Sam Brown (Ghost Town --- The Vaccines)

#2602.  Sam Brown's A Clown (Don't Let Me Down --- The Beatles)

#2603.  Lies Of Nancy Mace (Eyes Without A Face --- Billy Idol)

#2604.  Trump Romancer (Tiny Dancer --- Elton John)

#2605.  Downing (Drowning --- Radio Company)

#2606.  Orange Prolapsin' Fart (Listen To Your Heart --- Roxette)

#2607.  Donald's Dildo Toys (Come On Feel The Noize --- Quiet Riot)

#2608.  Trump Dumps Ain't A Crime (One Day At A Time --- Cristy Lane)

#2609.  All You Need Is Trump (All You Need Is Love ---The Beatles)

#2610.  O'Brien (O'Brien --- Seinfeld episode)

#2611.  Tenney Is A Whore (Penny On The Floor --- The Clarks)

#2612.  Trump Is Great (Born Too Late --- The Clarks)

#2613.  Gabe (Babe --- Styx)

#2614.  Doug Burgum's A Cunt (I Want A New Drug --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2615.  Pastor John Mark Burns (As the World Burns --- Kreator)

#2616.  Deepfake (Jailbreak --- Anthrax)

#2617.  Buckhout (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#2618.  Deepfaker (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2619.  Donald Trump (Tainted Love --- Soft Cell)

#2620.  Donald Trump (Icky Thump --- White Stripes)

#2621.  Steve Daines (The Plains --- Wilco)

#2622.  Deepfaker (Heartbreaker --- Free)

#2623.  Trump's A Clown (All Right Now --- Queen w/ Paul Rodgers)

#2624.  Donald Trump Is Tragic (Listen To The Music --- Doobie Brothers)

#2625.  Greenwood (Falsehood --- Alpha Wolf)

#2626.  Orange Prolapse (Built To Last --- Grateful Dead)

#2627.  The Donald's A Clown From Florida (The Devil Went Down To Georgia --- Charlie Daniels Band) 

#2628.  Trump Dump (Love Dump --- Static-X)

#2629.  Missouri Doctor Bob Onder (Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder --- Dean Martin)

#2630.  Bobb (Job --- Iggy Pop & The Stooges)

#2631.  Kremer (Dreamer --- Supertramp)

#2632.  Amy Fuckin' Kremer (Jesus, My Redeemer --- Chris Tomlin)

#2633.  Amy Kremer (Jesus Screamer --- Sodom)

#2634.  Donald Trump Is Shitty (Isn't It A Pity --- My Morning Jacket)

#2635.  McGuire (Crossfire --- Judas Priest)

#2636.  Arizona Cunt Nancy Cottle (If I Could Make Love To A Bottle --- Weird Al Yankovic)

#2637.  Cottle Fuck (Bottled Up --- DEVO)

#2638.  Grothman (Loves The Orange Prolapse --- Caution: Do Not Stop On Tracks --- Grateful Dead)

#2639.  Crooks Will Kill (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

#2640.  Priebus Is Fuckin' White (Jesus Is Just Alright --- Doobie Brothers)

#2641.  Priebus (Jesus --- Velvet Underground)

#2642.  He'll Defend Donald Reince Priebus (What A Friend We Have In Jesus --- Alan Jackson)

#2643.  Priebus Cuming From A Stormy Wet Dream (Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam --- Nirvana)

#2644.  Rubio (I Don't Know --- Beastie Boys)

#2645.  Cao (Pow --- Beastie Boys)

#2646.  Kamala (Shambala --- Beastie Boys)

#2647.  Priebus Is Red (Jesus Is Dead --- The Exploited)

#2648.  Usha Vance (In A Trance --- Malcolm Todd)

#2649.  Donald's Jism (Aneurysm --- Nirvana)

#2650.  Rubio (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2651.  Mark Green (Irene --- Grateful Dead)

#2652.  Cheatle Is A Fuckin' Cunt (Needle And The Damage Done --- Neil Young)

#2653.  Kimberly Cheatle (Everyday People --- Sly & The Family Stone)

#2654.  Timmy (Timmy --- South Park)

#2655.  Tim Burchett's Dick (Is Not Long) (Don't Forget Me: When I'm Gone --- Glass Tiger)

#2656.  Donald's Dumpin' (Gets Ya Pumpin' --- Bob Seger)

#2657.  J.D. Vance (Army Ants --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2658.  Vance, Motherfucker, Vance! (Dance, Motherfucker, Dance! --- Violent Femmes)

#2659.  J.D. Vance (And We Danced --- The Hooters)

#2660.  Bitch Forty-Five (Switch 625 --- Def Leppard)

#2661.  Trumpin', Dumpin', Feedin' (Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' --- Journey)

#2662.  Nancy Mace (Off My Face --- Justin Bieber)

#2663.  The Trump Towers (The Small Hours --- Metallica)

#2664.  News Faker (Jawbreaker --- Judas Priest)

#2665.  The V.P. Vance (The Safety Dance --- Men Without Hats)

#2666.  Heap (Creep --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2667.  Heap (Creep --- Radiohead)

#2668.  Make America Great Again (Make America Great Again --- Brian Kelley)

#2669. 'Merican Nation (Terrapin Station --- Grateful Dead)

#2670.  Stormy's Chest Is Plastic On Fake News (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John) 

#2671.  Senator Vance (Shut Up And Dance --- Walk The Moon)

#2672.  America (Hysteria --- Def Leppard)

#2673.  Steele (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2674.  Shitshow Paula Stark (Rainbow In The Dark --- Dio)

#2675.  Paula A. Stark (Shot In The Dark --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2676.  David Shoar (He's A Whore --- Cheap Trick)

#2677.  Tim Walz (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#2678.  Trump Fucks You (I Thank You --- Bonnie Raitt)

#2679.  Big Lies And Adin Ross (Behind The Crooked Cross --- Slayer)

#2680.  Priebus (Jesus -- Phil Thompson)

#2681.  The Big Lie (Frizzle Fry --- Primus)

#2682.  Michelle Morrow (Broken Arrow --- Grateful Dead)

#2683.  The Orange Prolapse Stain (The Last Waltz Refrain --- The Band)

#2684.  Roger Stone (I Alone --- Live)

#2685.  Orange Prolapse Stain (Hamburger Train --- Primus)

#2686.  We'll Sever Donald's Bone (You'll Never Walk Alone --- Liverpool Anthem)

#2687.  Tim Walz Inspires (Great Balls Of Fire --- Chris Isaak)

#2688.  Donald's Fat (My Friend Fats --- Primus)

#2689.  Paula Allene Stark (Lurking In The Dark --- King Diamond)

#2690.  Priebus Stop The Steal (Jesus Take The Wheel --- Carrie Underwood)

#2691.  Kennedy Is Old (Ecstasy Of Gold --- Metallica)

#2692.  Spartz (Hearts --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2693.  Kremer (Dreamer --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2694.  Robert F. Kennedy (Don't Be my Enemy --- Wang Chung)

#2695.  Far-Out Liz Murrill (About A Girl --- Nirvana)

#2696.  Gabbard (Shattered --- Rolling Stones)

#2697.  Sparks (Sparks --- Coldplay)

#2698.  Michael Sparks (Tiny Spark --- American Hi-Fi)

#2699.  Let's Stop The Stealing (That's How I Feeling --- Jack White)

#2700.  Robert Morris (Wordless Chorus --- My Morning Jacket)

#2701.  Gabbard (Shattered --- Dokken)

#2702.  McCormick (Ton Of Bricks --- Metal Church)

#2703.  Go To Hell (Top Yourself --- The Raconteurs)

#2704.  Taylor Greene (Stella Blue --- Grateful Dead)

#2705.  Peter Thiel (Pittsburgh Steel --- Warren Zeiders)

#2706.  Peter Thiel (Dipped In Steel --- Flaming Lips)

#2707.  Mahomes (Them Bones --- Alice In Chains)

#2708.  Thiel (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2709.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Eric Clapton) 

#2710.  J.D. Vance (Song And Dance --- John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band)

#2711.  An Ass: Donald Trump's The Orange Prolapse (He's Back: The Man Behind The Mask --- Alice Cooper)

#2712.  Fox News And Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#2713.  McDevotion (Sweet Emotion --- Aerosmith)

#2714.  J.D. Vance (Zero Chance --- Soundgarden)

#2715.  Jew (True --- Spandau Ballet)

#2716.  Donald Trump (One Pump Chump --- Steel Panther)

#2717.  Deb Fischer (Well-Wisher --- Single Mothers)

#2718.  O'Grady (Lady --- Styx)

#2719.  Insurrection (Operation --- Circle Jerks)

#2720.  Kushner Jew (Karma Stew --- Circle Jerks)

#2721.  Laura Loomer's In The White House (There's A Tumor In the White House --- Dan Mangan)

#2722.  Sean Hannity (My Sanity --- Bad Religion)

#2723.  Priebus, Scam And Fraud (Jesus, Lamb Of God --- Phil & Victor Thompson)

#2724.  Donald Trump's A Cunt And... (Gimme All Your Lovin' --- ZZ Top)

#2725.  Trump's A Cunt (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)

#2726.  Kushner Screw (Under You --- Foo Fighters)

#2727.  Loomer's Bullshit (Rumor Has It --- Reba McEntire)

#2728.  Insurrection! (Strangulation! --- My Morning Jacket)

#2729.  Fight (Fight --- The Cure)

#2730.  Donald Is Fuckin' Inbred (Can't Get It Out Of My Head --- Electric Light Orchestra) 

#2731.  Tim DeFoor (Amateur --- Aimee Mann)

#2732.  Fight Fight Fight (Fight Fight Fight --- Riot)

#2733.  Hey Routh (Hey Jude --- The Beatles)

#2734.  Crank's Small (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)

Please do not share this material with Jeff Crank and/or former President Donald J. Trump.