Thursday, March 04, 2021

#157. Christopher Wray

Two months have passed since the insurrection at the Capitol.  So finally, FBI Director Christopher Wray took the opportunity to testify before Congress.  

He revealed virtually nothing of interest.  However, he did take one major, controversial stand when he mentioned that the Orange Prolapse's merry band of misfits who stormed the Capitol... were not Antifa in disguise.  Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.

Transition:  When I think of famous Wheeling gingers, the late B.E. Taylor comes to mind.  

He passed away 5 years ago.  His most famous hit was "Vitamin L" which charted somewhere in the Top 100 back in 1984.  I actually knew the guy.  He would park in my lot (Lot 12 next to the Bridge Tavern) when he headlined Christmas shows at the Capitol Music Hall.  He'd always have the correct amount of money.  $2.25.  Two single bills and a quarter.  Very cordial, pleasant, humble individual.  Nice guy.

Ages ago, I briefly considered buying a small church in Woodsdale.  Had I gone through with the transaction, we would have been next door neighbors.  But alas, 'twas not meant to be.  Instead I got Chrisagii'd in the butthole.


Click here and ye shall receive a dose of Vitamin L.  Peculiar music video.  All the characters seem "aggressively stilted and robotic."  It opens with a McDonald's Hamburglar knock-off robbing a local pharmacy.  

Regrettably, from a credibility perspective, the name Christopher Wray carries with the identical syllable progression as... yep, you guessed it, Vitamin L.

 

Christopher Wray
sonofsaf

Comin’ from the FBI
Insurrection ask me why
Don’t make the questions to obscure
Response could be awkward
The Congress said we all agree
You think it was conspiracy
All of your guts, Chris, you should spill
A description here’s the drill, he said

If you ask why, they’ll surely say Christopher Wray
If you ask why, they’ll surely say Christopher Wray
Christopher Wray

Come into the fray, Christopher Wray

Bottled water he imbibed
Prepare for a long diatribe
The hot seat is not what he prefers
But power does have some allure
The option becomes less defeat
The government does not retreat, no
Despite all the fake news and lies
Any way to capitalize, say

If you ask why, they’ll surely say Christopher Wray
If you ask why, they’ll surely say Christopher Wray
Christopher Wray

Nothing as is what it would seem
A cellular induced stampede
It never stops bothering me
Potential for viral blitzkrieg
Wireless fear is all you’re feeded
Punishment it will be meted
Black swan comin’ accept your fate
Time to make America great.  he says

If you ask why, they’ll surely say Christopher Wray
If you ask why, they’ll surely say Christopher Wray
Christopher Wray

Come into the fray, Christopher Wray
Come into the fray

 

Vitamin L
B.E. Taylor

Went into the GNC
Told them what was wrong with me
I thought that they might have a cure
They said, 'see your doctor'
The doctor said, it's plain to see
You suffer a deficiency
The problem is, son, I can't fill
The prescription for your ill, he said

If you could buy, I'm sure they'd sell Vitamin L
If you could buy, I'm sure they'd sell Vitamin L
Vitamin L

It makes all things well, Vitamin L

Then proceeded to describe
This vitamin he can't prescribe
A chemical reaction occurs
Every time that boy meets girl
Its healing power's so complete
There is no drug that could compete, no
But we just can't seem to devise
Any way to synthesize it, say

If you could buy, I'm sure they'd sell Vitamin L
If you could buy, I'm sure they'd sell Vitamin L
Vitamin L

Has to occur in love like dreams
And now I know just what he means
All that had been bothering me
Has been cleared up completely
All this time, she's all I needed
What a great way to get treated
Take this advice and you'll feel great
Even if you're not sick, why wait? It says

If you could buy, I'm sure they'd sell Vitamin L
If you could buy, I'm sure they'd sell Vitamin L
Vitamin L

It makes all things well, Vitamin L
It makes all things well



I saw B.E. Taylor perform a few times around 1990.  Once at the Capitol Music Hall and I vaguely recall him playing in the little outdoor amphitheater next to the Good Lake at Wheeling Park.

Please do not share this information with FBI Director Christopher Wray, former President Donald J. Trump, family and friends of the late B.E. Taylor, and/or the Chrisagis Brothers.

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