#183. I'm Tate

The proud Governor of a great state is coincidentally named... Tate.  Not many people are aware of this, but he acquired the nickname after being caught red handed using a hollowed-out baked potato as a means of pleasuring himself.  Kids started calling him "Tater Bater."  Regardless, Governor Tate Reeves (R-MS) is all about courage and freedom.  And his decisions are valiantly reflected in the state's Latin motto --- "Virtute et armis" --- by valor and arms.  

(O.P. and G.P. = Orange Prolapse & Ginger Prolapse))

Now lemme tell ya something!  Reeves is at the top of his game.  Evidenced by yesterday's signing of a bill barring transgender students from participating in women's high school sports.

Reminiscent of the infamous "bathroom bills" from a few years back.  It's a solution to a problem that's entirely nonexistent.  Purely a ploy to agitate and demonize.  It's hard to believe that the sophisticated, forward thinking citizens from a progressive state like Mississippi would fall for such nonsense.  

I mean, seriously, maybe Tate should also consider barring Islamic fundamentalists from participating in high school sports.  What about diabetic kids who selfishly hoard insulin?  If anyone were to have a seizure during a football game, it could drain the state of precious resources in the form of time and money.   

Personally speaking, I think all Jewish kids in Mississippi should be forbidden from participating in athletics.  College too.  If you think about it, the underlying rationale makes sense.  You see, Mississippi is widely considered the "most religiously observant" state in the country.  But its Jewish population is less than 1%.  So obviously, the presence of any Jews would serve as a major distraction because all of the morally decent Christian kids would likely feel undermined, distracted and potentially threatened.

I’m Tate
sonofsaf

I’m Tate, I’m Tate
Run a very important state
Transgender sports you will not try
I’m Tate, I’m Tate, I’m Tate

No no no no no no!
I’m here to screw
I don’t care if it's true
So don’t ask why or try to know
I’m Tate, I’m Tate, I’m Tate

I’m Late
Bill Thompson (Alice In Wonderland)

I'm late, I'm late
For a very important date
No time to say hello, good-bye
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late

No no no no no no!
I'm overdue!
I'm really in a stew
No time to say goodbye, hello
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late

I'm submitting legislation that a nickname be assigned to Governor Tate Reeves.  I'm thinking "Ginger Taint."  It's a political spin-off of NFL wide receiver and venerable journeyman Golden Tate a/k/a Golden Taint.

Please do not share this information with Governor Tate Reeves (R-MS), former President Donald J. Trump, transgender high school athletes, Golden Tate, and/or Alice in Wonderland aficionados.