Does anyone remember when Governor Doug Ducey was certifying Trump's loss in the state of Arizona? And he declined to pick up a phone call from the Orange Prolapse? I sure do. He got busted by the press for his "Hail to the Chief" ringtone. Hard to fathom why anyone would exhibit such deference to a politician's exposed section of colon. Then again, it's a relatively free country. And he was the President. Right? Maybe Ducey's true calling was internal medicine. Double D the Proctologist? Has a nice ring to it I suppose. Ah, the sweet sound of narcisisstic flatulence.
Poor Trump was desperately, repeatedly trying to call him. But Ducey, in an act of minimal courage, opted to silence the call, follow the law, and do his job instead. As opposed to being a gutless fucking coward. Well, I guess that's worthy of minimal praise. Or in this case a parody.
Dedicated to the children of Doug Ducey... Sam, Jack and Joe.
Doug Ducey
sonofsaf
Doug Ducey is just so white, he’s a scrotum with no balls in sight
Bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch,
Has a small dick that he’ll scratch and itch
He’s an asshole, and a bitch, has a really bad case of the jock itch,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, shitting, “Fuck you, fuck you anytime!”
Ass gets pumped enema alright,
Takes it up the butthole through the day and night,
Bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch,
Has a small dick that he’ll scratch and itch.
Doug Ducey, he’s a whore, says I need pornography so hardcore,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, shitting, “Fuck you, fuck you anytime!”
Dumbshit Ducey his name’s Ducey. He wants you to stick a dildo in the,
Bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch,
Has a small dick that he’ll scratch and itch.
Smell his farts he’ll make you cry, he was just eating out an anal cream pie,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, shitting, “Fuck you, fuck you anytime!”
Want it right between the thighs, you know I'll starch you with a tampon fry,
Bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch,
Has a small dick that he’ll scratch and itch.
Fuck you awhile ‘cause I’m always white,
Just cum on me it’ll be alright,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, shitting yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh,
Shitting yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh,
Shitting, “Fuck you, fuck you anytime!"
Loose Lucy
Grateful Dead
Loose Lucy is my delight, she come runnin' and we ball all night,
Round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
Don't take much to get me on the ground.
She's my yo-yo, I'm her string, listen to the birds on the hot wire sing,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
I got jumped coming home last night,
Shadow in the alley turned out all my lights,
Round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
Don't take much to get me on the ground.
Loose Lucy, she was sore, says I know you don't want my love no more,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
Be-bop baby how can this be? I know you been out a' cheating on me,
Round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
Don't take much to get the word around.
Cross my heart and hope to die, I was just hanging out with the other guys,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
Went back home with two black eyes, you know I'll love ya till the day I die,
Round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
Don't take much to get the word around.
I like your smile but I ain't your type,
Don't shake the tree when its fruit ain't ripe,
Yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh, singing yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh,
Singing yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh,
Singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
Grateful Dead:
04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL *
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD *
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Soldiers Field, Chicago, IL
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN *
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA *
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
* - played Loose Lucy
I saw Jerry play "Loose Lucy" a grand total of four times. He always sounded kinda rough and winded. Another GD fail goes out to Phil Lesh with those agonizing "Wave to the Winds." And while we're at it, let's throw in that uninspired Bob Weir "Eternity" first set closer. Although it did provide a nice opportunity for an early bathroom piss break.
Please do not share this information with Governor Doug Ducey (R-AZ), former President Donald Trump, and/or Deadheads.
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