#219. Claudia

How about another parody for 16 year old Claudia Conway?  Same title.  Different song.  

(The more selfies ye post, the more hostile parodies I shalt write.)

Hey, let's be honest here.  She's a minor.  

It was her parents, George and KellyAnne, who decided to throw her to wolves.

(My wife's best friend is the Orange Prolapse.)

I wonder if either of them ever considered that her brief appearance on American Idol... would result in a couple of derogatory spoofs.  I might even write a few more.  The last name "Conway" has a veritable plethora of alliterative possibilities.  Er uh... in this case, conceivable ramifications.

Claudia
sonofsaf

Tell you ‘bout Claudia Conway
Her momma is a clown
Just a D.C. whore
Gives sloppy head all around
They all cum inside her rear
Her ass is somewhat tight
She takes the morning wood, Lord
She takes it with delight

And her name is C-L-AW-D-I
C-L-AW-D-I-A
Claudia!
C-L-AW-D-I-A
Claudia!
She’s gonna fuck you all night
Claudia!
She’s gonna fuck you every way
Claudia!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

We cum in her rear
Ass is somewhat tight
She takes the morning wood, Lord
I want to say she takes it with delight
Likes to suck on all the meats (relevant Arby’s reference)
And George is her momma’s spouse
We call her anal whore
She has the smell of perfume
Yeah, and she take sit with delight

C-L-AW-D-I-A
Claudia!
C-L-AW-D-I-A
Claudia!
She’s gonna fuck you all night
Claudia!
She’s gonna fuck you every way
Claudia!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Loves wood
Claudia!
She’s white
Morning wood
Claudia!
She’s white, yeah

Gloria
Grateful Dead

Like to tell you 'bout my baby
You know she comes around
Just 'bout five feet-four
A-from her head to the ground
You know she comes around here
At just about midnight
She make me feel so good, Lord
She make me feel all right

And her name is G-L-O-R-I
G-L-O-R-I-A
Gloria!
G-L-O-R-I-A
Gloria!
I'm gonna shout it all night
Gloria!
I'm gonna shout it every day
Gloria!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

She comes around here
Just about midnight
She make me feel so good, Lord
I want to say she make me feel all right
Comes a-walkin' down my street
Then she comes up to my house
She knock upon my door
And then she comes to my room
Yeah, and she make me feel all right

G-L-O-R-I-A
Gloria!
G-L-O-R-I-A
Gloria!
I'm gonna shout it all night
Gloria!
I'm gonna shout it every day
Gloria!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
So good
Gloria!
All right
Feels so good
Gloria!
All right, yeah

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL *
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA *
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

* - Gloria encore

Van Morrison:

9-7-18, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA *

Please do not share this information with Claudia Conway, KellyAnne Conway, George Conway and/or former President Donald J. Trump