#200. Whiny Mark

My 200th parody for the year deserves something "special."  Special... as in olympically retarded. 

(Mark Madden Alert!)

So here's my offer.  

If anyone's willing to call in to Double M's radio show and serenade Big Sexy with my latest song about the Super Genius... in its entirety.   Well, I will reward you with the princely sum of one hundred five dollars and ninety cents.  No joke.  Cash or check --- you decide.  And yes, I realize the prize of $105.90 bears a striking similarity to the radio frequency of WXDX.  That's what makes it kitschy.

I'd even be okay if you collaborate and agree to split the loot.  After all, at some point, he's likely gonna have to be on board with this schtick.  Because the song lasts almost 3 minutes.  And well, let's just say that Mark Madden has a tendency of being "caustically curt."

 

Whiny Mark
sonofsaf

I always say good day
Prefer the concept of a rasslin’ heel
You know what they say
‘Bout all of the players that kneeled
But I'm jaded
And not that cool
So I will talk shit
I’m hardcore
Oh the shows I’ve planned
As I travel to countries ‘round the world
‘Cause I’m not a man
But instead I was born as a girl
And I'm crying
When I gaffe
Brag about buying
Fill my online cart
And I fake from the start
And my rake is a lark
Cause I am a whiny Mark

I always say good day
Prefer the concept of a rasslin’ heel
You know what they say
‘Bout all the players that kneeled
But I'm jaded
And not that cool
So I will talk shit
I’m hardcore
Horrifying is my ass
Terrifying stampede at last
Suffocating it was Saf

Tiny Spark
Brendan Benson

I've always been this way
Never known any other way to feel
Got the right of way
And all of the others must yield
But I'm naked
And I'm in school
And I can't make it
To the door
Try to understand
That an oyster can only make a pearl
From a grain of sand
But from what I don't know comes a girl
And I'm trying
Not to laugh
Feels like I'm dying
When we break apart
And you take back your heart
And it aches in the dark
But it makes a tiny spark

I've always been this way
Never known any other way to feel
Got the right of way
And all of the others must yield
But I'm naked
And I'm in school
And I can't make it
To the door
We were lying in the grass
I was trying oh not to laugh
I was drowning in the past

Feel free to share this information with Pittsburgh sports radio talk show host Mark Madden and musician Brendan Benson.