#190. Mario

Amid the incessant spattering of sexual harassment claims, all of the Democratic big wigs are calling for New York Governor Mario Cuomo to resign.  

Schumer, Gillibrand, DeBlasio, and a merry band of representatives, council greaseballs, assembly fucks, and executive schmucks throughout the entire state.

Everybody's got a god-damned opinion (mark 1:48)!  Everyone wants a piece of Governor Wopner's ass.

What we really need is more people weighing in.  Personally, I'd like to hear from the Orange Prolapse himself.  Who knows?  Maybe he'd flip the script and actually side with Cuomo.  How about Robert DeNiro?  He seems to think everyone's interested in his opinion.  What about David Berkowitz, a/k/a Son of Sam, the infamous NYC serial killer?  I'd be curious to hear his take on the sordid situation.

Alright, enough with this shit.  If you really wanna git rid of Cuomo, it's easy peazy Japanesey.  Just print out my parody of Dolly Parton's "Romeo" and distribute to every karaoke hot spot in the entire Empire State.  Trust me.  He'll be outta there in no time.

 

 

Mario
sonofsaf

Know what I mean he’s gone too far
Is a zero with the looks
Mario won’t pay nuthin’
He says he’s not a crook
But he wants you to suck his wang
And drink all of his seed
But still nobody wants him  
He doesn’t come for free

Hey, Mario, fuck you now
Go out and buy a whore
Just speak to me in Brooklyn
He thinks he’s gonna score
Viagra is the new pep
He takes it right on time
And we'll call this the Mario
You know he’s outta line

Romeo, Romeo, Romeo don’t fuck with me

He loves his blow jobs sloppy
Some call him anal queen
Vibrator and a big toy
Know just what I mean
Why does he keep on lyin’
And make us kiss his feet
I know he’s out for blood
‘Cause he will fuck you
With his meat

Mario, Mario, I’ve just never been so wet
Mario, Mario, I’ll be forever in your debt

So fuck her high, fuck her low
Fuck her out and in
Fuck to the side and open wide
You’re fuckin’ up again
Fuck that ass, it has gas
Fuckin’ no disease
But he’s a fuck who’s out for blood
Just don’t contract herpes

Mario, Mario, Mario with the magic meat

So fuck her high, fuck her low
Fuck her out and in
Fuck to the side and open wide
You’re fuckin’ up again
Fuck that ass, it has gas
Fuckin’ no disease
But he’s a fuck who’s out for blood
Just don’t contract herpes

Mario, Mario
I’ve just never been so wet
Mario, Mario
I’m forever in your debt
Mario, Mario
Mario, Mario

 

Romeo
Dolly Parton

A cross between a movie star
And a hero in a book
Romeo comes struttin' in
And everybody looks
'Cause he's just got that special thang
That everybody needs
And everybody wants him
But not as bad as me

Hey, Romeo, where art thou
Get out here on the floor
I want to dance you darlin'
'Til you forget wherefore
Let's two step to a new step
We'll keep it all in line
And we'll call this the Romeo
'Cause you're so mighty fine

Romeo, Romeo, Romeo come dance with me

That sexy little body
Beats all I've ever seen
I ain't never seen a cowboy
Look that good in jeans
My temperature keeps risin'
Every time we meet
I may not be in love
But let me tell you
I'm in heat

Romeo, Romeo, I just know I'll get you yet
Romeo, Romeo, I want to be your Juliet

So step it high, step it low
Step it out and in
Step to the side and let it slide
Then steppin' up again
Step on toes, it all goes
Steppin' as you please
But I'm one step away from love
So don't step out on me

Romeo, Romeo, Romeo with the magic feet

So step it high, step it low
Step it out and in
Step to the side and let it slide
Then steppin' up again
Step on toes, it all goes
Steppin' as you please
But I'm one step away from love
So don't step out on me

Romeo, Romeo
I just know I'll get you yet
Romeo, Romeo
Won't you be my Juliet
Romeo, Romeo
Romeo, Romeo

Dolly Parton really needs to broaden her horizons and come join the dark side.  Maybe give my parody a shot.  Bizarro "Stampede" Dolly would be the absolute shit.  After all, her updated version of Jolene was a pretty big hit in the realm of cable news fodder.  Feel free to tell her I finished up that lil' ditty.

Jesus Christ!  I was just telling my wife Mason about my latest parody and she says... "I thought his name was ANDREW Cuomo."  Wasn't Mario the father?  Isn't he dead?  

Unbelievable.  Total parodyxical blasphemy.  

Oh well, just think in terms of Andrew as being a chip off the 'ol block.

Please do not share this information with Governor Mario Cuomo (D-NY), Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY), Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), NYC Mayor De Blasio, former President Donald J. Trump, actor Robert DeNiro, and/or Son of Sam.