#193. Tornado, In Happy

Yesterday, a few tornadoes whipped through Happy.  Happy... as in Happy, Texas.  

Having no idea where the fuck this admittedly uplifting town is located, I did the obligatory google search.  

Happy is positioned South of Amarillo, North of Lubbock... in the panhandle area.  From a Texas perspective, Happy is surrounded by some other curiously named towns.  Sudan (likely pronounced "sudden"), Turkey, Memphis, Earth, Canadian, Freedom, Groom, Beef, Dogface, and Menstrual.  Seems like the whole area has some kind of an identity complex.  Note: the final three were fictitious.

Rather than showing the customary pictures of the usual structural damage, I think every news outlet should just post unflattering pictures of the Orange Prolapse.  You gotta figure, from a humanitarian perspective n'at, it's roughly the same thing.  

See what I mean?

Tornado In Happy
sonofsaf

For twenty sake you gotta toke
Inclement weather it ain’t no joke
Tornado, in Happy
I used to have a Super Chexx bubble
But now my dome hockey’s in the rubble
Tornado, in Happy
Tornado, in Happy now

Tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado, in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) Tornado, in Happy

If you survived, you are not dead
Somebody else is dead instead
Tornado, in Happy
Calmer weather you’ll have to wait
For high winds to dissipate
Tornado, in Happy

Oh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh tornado, in happy
Have you rolled the fucking number, c’mon hurry, smoke weed, happy in Happy)
Tornado, in Happy
It rained and poured for a while
Weather Channel ain’t in denial
Tornado, in Happy
Sorry about how all the shit went down
The gods of climate they sometimes frown
Tornado, in Happy

Tornado, in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado, in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado, in Happy

Now there, is a time to vote
We’re all on this great big boat
What about the children?  Tornado, in Happy
There was a band called Right Said Fred, they were too sexy for my head
Insurance claims will raise the dead
‘Cause tornado, in Happy, in Happy now

Tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado, in Happy

Tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado, in Happy

Tornado, tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado, fuck this shit, in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) there goes the human race
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) when your whole world goes to shit

Tornado
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) it’s from my ass, you know it’s the shit
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) tornado, in Happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) bodies buried, in Happy

 

Don’t Worry Be Happy
Bobby McFerrin

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now

don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy

Oh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh don't worry, be happy
Here I give you my phone number, when you worry, call me, I make you happy, don't worry, be happy)
Don't worry, be happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
Don't worry, be happy
'Cause when you worry your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry, be happy

Don't worry, be happy now
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be happy

Now there, is this song I wrote
I hope you learned note for note
Like good little children, don't worry, be happy
Now listen to what I said, in your life expect some trouble
When you worry you make it double
But don't worry, be happy, be happy now

don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be happy

don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be happy

don't worry, don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, don't do it, be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) put a smile in your face
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't bring everybody down like this

don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) it will soon pass, whatever it is
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be happy
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) I'm not worried, I'm happy

Bobby McFerrin has never come to the Burgh.  Four times in Philly though.  Doesn't really matter.  I can't fathom a scenario where I would've woken up and thought... golly gee willikers, fuckin' Bobby McFerrin's in town???  Hot damn, this could be some prime time bucket list shit!

Please do not share this information with Bobby McFerrin, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or anyone whose life has ever been impacted by a tornado.  In particular, residents of Happy, Texas.