#201. A Deshaun Fight

It's always amusing when a 25 year old Southern Baptist, philanthropic superstar, NFL Quarterback worth an estimated $25 million encounters the sexual conundrum.  

Deshaun Watson likely enjoys living the single life.  But when they're aren't any "ladies" readily available, you gotta think outside "the box."  And that means the convenience of a female masseuse, preferably one, who near the end of your session, will capitulate with a sexual act of some sort.  Hey, it's a lot safer than flaggin' down a street walkin' hooker.  

But let's just agree that if you're the face of the franchise... well, getting busted for prostitution ain't gonna sit well with the front office.  

So it has been pointedly alleged that Watson has a proclivity for relying on "asymmetric satisfaction."  I guess we'll see how it all pans out.  My best hunch involves monetary settlements, non-disclosure agreements, and the customary gagging orders.  All of the same components that helped the Orange Prolapse obtain and secure the presidency.

(Same story, different players)

A Deshaun Fight
sonofsaf

There is a Deshaun fight, ‘cause he was acting like a pig
There is a Deshaun fight, they filed lawsuits pretty big
The allegations aren’t true no happy ending for you
Behavior impolite

He is a jerk who plays thinks it is funny the QB king
And you know his love won’t fade away his black dick you will be worshipping
So if by chance he does groan, you’ll have to caress his bone
Use butter not Parkay

Astrodome we once played there at night
Astrodome oil makes me feel alright, right, yeah

There is a Deshaun fight, ‘cause he was acting like a pig
There is a Deshaun fight, they filed lawsuits pretty big
The allegations aren’t true no happy ending for you
Behavior impolite, oww

So if by chance he does groan, you’ll have to caress his bone
Use butter not Parkay

Astrodome we once played there at night
Astrodome oil makes me feel alright, right, yeah

Oh, there is a Deshaun fight, ‘cause he was acting like a pig
There is a Deshaun fight, they filed lawsuits pretty big
The allegations aren’t true no happy ending for you
Behavior impolite
Behavior that ain’t right
Behavior that ain’t right

A Hard Day’s Night
The Beatles

It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright

You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things
And it's worth it just to hear you say you're going to give me everything
So why on earth should I moan, 'cause when I get you alone
You know I feel ok

When I'm home everything seems to be right
When I'm home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah

It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright, oww

So why on earth should I moan, 'cause when I get you alone
You know I feel ok

When I'm home everything seems to be right
When I'm home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah

Oh, it's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright
You know I feel alright
You know I feel alright

Paul McCartney:

2-12-90, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH

4–29-02, Gund Arena, Cleveland, OH

8-18-10, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

7-7-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with Texans Quarterback Deshaun Watson, the Texans front office, former President Donald J. Trump, Stormy Daniels, Paul McCartney, and/or any female masseuses.