Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto kinda reminds me of a guidance counselor-type character from that early 1970's television series Room 222. So I hereby decree that Mr. Peduto shall be the unwelcome recipient of my 222th parody. My other Peduto parody is worth a gander. Particularly because it incorporated Styx (not Renegade). Oh mama, the jig is up, the news is out.
The Democratic primary election is set for May 18, 2021.
The first debate takes place this afternoon in Homewood.
Racial demographics for the city of Pittsburgh:
White: 66.80%
Black or African American: 23.03%
Asian: 5.82%
Two or more races: 3.51%
Allow me to introduce the candidates. Drumroll please...
On election night, I suspect they'll finish in the order they're shown (from left to right).
Current Mayor Bill Peduto, State Representative Ed Gainey, retired police officer Tony Moreno, and community organizer Will Parker. There's a fifth candidate, Mike Thompson, whom I suspect will finish last.
The big question --- in a relatively diluted field of 5 candidates, is there any conceivable way that Peduto could possibly lose? In all seriousness, who really knows for sure? I mean, 75 million Americans just voted for an orange prolapse. That's 12 million more votes than in 2016. See where I'm coming from?
Gainey's a formidable presence. Charismatic, sharp, eloquent, etc. But I just don't see him pulling it out. UNLESS... one of the candidates decided to launch a smear campaign of unparalleled proportions directly targeting Peduto.
Just for the record, I happen to like Peduto. And if I lived in the city I'd probably vote for him. But I don't live in the city.
Anyhoo, here's the idea for the smear campaign. It's the traditional cheapo yard sign or old school, low cost flyer. Produce a ton of them and place them throughout the city. Particularly in "hard to reach locations" on empty buildings and vacated store fronts. Bring a footstool or milk crate to get the job done right. Hint: step up.
JOB TO BLOW PEDUTO
'Cause he looks like a gnome
JOB TO BLOW PEDUTO
In the human genome
JOB TO BLOW PEDUTO
It’s in his chromosomes
JOB TO BLOW PEDUTO
Is it the Down’s syndrome
JOB TO BLOW PEDUTO
Yeah, I know. It's the political equivalent of Trump on steroids. Total character assassination. Ridiculously mean-spirited to the point of absurdity. But with a clever twist. The premise being that city residents will read the signs and think... whoever did this needs to have his mouth worshed out with soap! But then, in typical Pixburgh fashion, the rumor mill will get going. And people will realize it's a spin-off of the familiar sounding...
Feel the comforts of home
Get to know Molyneaux
Everybody be singin' those refrains like a Sunday morning church choir! Hallelujah! Ironically, it's one of my wife's go-to favorites. That, and the intolerably abominable "We buy any car!"
A month ago, I was listening to the WDVE morning show and they were gabbing about Pittsburgh jingles. Molyneaux topped the list.
Please do not share this information with Pittsburgh mayoral candidates Bill Peduto, Ed Gainey, Tony Moreno,Will Parker, Mike Thompson, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.
No comments:
Post a Comment