Saturday, March 06, 2021

#168. Stars

Philadelphia 76'ers star Joel Embiid has embedded his memory in all of us.

 
 
Just a few hours ago, he donated his entire NBA All-Stars game bonus to various Philadelphia homeless shelters.  That's 100,000 big ones!  Well... technically speaking, it's all ones.  But you get my drift.
 
So I'm gonna send out a very rare, obligatory "Thuggin L'Chaim" to Joel Embiid.  Mazel Tov!
 

 
Stars
sonofsaf

NBA stars
They can sure dunk their balls
They have multiple whores
And they party all the time in bars

NBA stars
You could hardly conceive
How they travel for you
Planes, trains, and automobiles called cars

NBA stars
You can watch them downtown
Most are not Japanese
And they will not take a test for SARS

NBA stars
You know they sure like to drink
No doubt Henny’s alright
And the moonshine’s always served in jars
 
 
Cars
Gary Numan

Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live in cars

Here in my car
I can only receive
I can listen to you
It keeps me stable for days in cars

Here in my car
Where the image breaks down
Will you visit me please
If I open my door in cars

Here in my car
I know I've started to think
About leaving tonight
Although nothing seems right in cars

 
Believe it or not, Gary Numan actually came to Mr. Small's down in Millvale just three years ago (9-17-18).  That's like 1.3 miles from my fucking house!  I remember seeing his name on their marquee and thinking to myself.... damn, I wonder if that's the one hit wonder from the Wheeling Park ice skating rink days when they played "Cars."  Sure enough, one in the same.  
 
Hot damn, I could have zipped down and gotten him to sign my Subaru Impreza dashboard.  Would have made for a great conversation starter.  
 
"Saf, what's that scribbling signature shit?  Who the fuck signed your dashboard?" 
 
"Oh, uh, that's uh, Gary Numan. (delayed pause)  He was in my.... car." (obviously imitating the patented, stilted electro-voice). 

In the late 90's, I had a surprise encounter with Mario Lemiuex.  Both of us were parked in the fire lane outside the Wheeling Civic Center.  As we exited our vehicles,  I engaged him and thought about asking him to sign the dashboard of my 97 Jeep Grand Cherokee.  But I didn't have a fucking sharpie on hand.  Lesson learned.  From that day forward, I've always had a black marker in the car.  
 
Although admittedly, that Jeep was a compete of shit.  It suffered from a rare phenomenon known as "shake rattle and roll" also known as "axle asshole."  Purchased from Elm Grove Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram.  Do not buy a vehicle from them.
 
Please do not share this information with Joel Embiid, NBA all-stars, Gary Numan, Mario Lemieux, and/or employees of Elm Grove Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram.


No comments: