I have absolutely no intention of seeing 80 For Brady. It appears to
be an assemblage of whimsically, brazen golden girls who seek out Tom Brady. From what I understand, the movie revolves around their collective desire for a 4 on 2 "granny-bang" with Brady the Goat and Roger Goodell... while Gronk simultaneously masturbates in
the corner.
However,
if I understand the underlying premise of the movie (from the rarely
seen promo), it seems as though they all manage to steal and connive
their way into the Super Bowl for free. Now I do like that theme. As I happen to have written
several books about how to destroy the NFL.
Negative Feedback Loop, Not Fucking Love, and Never Forget Losing.
Anyhoo, here's the daily dump. And it's a doozie.
A spectacular three-pronged Trump Dump next to the Manchester Bridge monument. Stadium proximity alert! |
Dedicated to the GOAT... Tom Brady.
You (Suck Like Tom Brady)
sonofsaf
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Stormy was a bloody damn whore
Trump’s daughter-wife is not as hardcore
Forty five is orange and not white
Maybe baby her thong has a g-string that’s tight
Alright
Asshole
Asshole
Coup d’etat is a big crime
A muff dive isn’t always okay*
Stop the steal ‘cause Trump’s asinine
Ivanka is a cunt and it’s open on display
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
So, Kushner is a really bad lover
Because he has a cunt you’ll discover
A cunt in disguise pray for Donald’s demise
Trump’s gotta mushroom of a penis, and he’s spreading his big lies
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
So Donald Trump’s an Orange Prolapse clown (he’s a fucking fat queer)
Donald Trump’s an Orange Prolapse clown (asshole, asshole, asshole alright)
Donald Trump’s an Orange Prolapse clown (he’s a fucking pap smear)
Donald Trump’s an Orange Prolapse clown (asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole)
Ooh, such a fucking Brady
Ooh, his bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, n’at.
Ooh, Tom is a Brady!
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Asshole, you suck like Tom Brady
Ass, ass, ass, you suck like Tom Brady
Ass, ass, ass, you suck like Tom Brady
Ass, ass, ass, you suck like Tom Brady
Ass, ass, ass, you suck like Tom Brady
Dude (Looks Like A Lady)
Aerosmith
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
Cruise into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's alright
That's right
That, that
That, that
Backstage we're havin' the time
Of our lives until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
So, never judge a book by its cover
Or who you're gonna love by your lover
Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise.
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
So baby let me follow you down (let me take a peek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me all night)
Baby let me follow you down (turn the other cheek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me, do me)
Ooh, what a funky lady
Ooh, she like it, like it, like it, like that.
Ooh, he was a lady!
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
GOAT Dump Top 10:
Brady (Lady --- Styx)
Brady (Lady --- Little River Band)
The Brady Cunt (The Brady Bunch theme song)
Trump Hates Tom Brady (The Real Slim Shady --- Eminem)
Brady Nirvana (Lady Madonna --- The Beatles)
Brady's Camel Toe (Lady Picture Show --- Stone Temple Pilots)
Brady Tom Was The Boy Wonder (Baby Don't Forget My Number --- Milli Vanilli)
Brady With A Lime (Baby One More Time --- Britney Spears)
You Suck Like Tom Brady (Dude Looks Like A Lady --- Aerosmith)
Gay Brady Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)
Brady You're So Fucked Up (Lady You Bring Me Up --- The Commodores)
Brady I Know You're Gay (Baby, I Love Your Way --- Peter Frampton)
Brady Fishmonger (Lady Madonna --- The Beatles)
Brady (Lady --- David Hasselhoff)
Tom Brady's Ball Sack (The Lady Wore Black --- Queensryche)
You (Suck Like Tom Brady --- Aerosmith)
This
is actually my second parody of Aerosmith's annoying hit "Dude Looks
Like A Lady." For last year's Super Bowl, I penned the same tune.
Totally forgot about it. Same song but with vastly different lyrics. #1026.
From 1973 to 2009, Aerosmith has played the Burgh an incredible 30 times.
* - Mark Madden's favorite concert of all-time. I must admit, the energy level was off the charts. Guns 'n Roses opened.