#3159. Easter Egg Roll

President Trump is offering corporate sponsorships for this year's traditional Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn.  #SuperPower?  #AmateurHour!

Probably an effort to preemptively distract from Signal Gate.

Advertising options range from $75,000 to $200,000.

 

The Kimberly Clark Company, manufacturer of Depends Undergarments, immediately offered up $200K 

The Orange Prolapse raises the arm of the Easter Bunny... in triumph.

But the administration discreetly declined.

 

General Foods Corporation (maker of Tang) also had their offer rebuffed.  

It petered out.  It died on the vine.

 

Not for nothing, but I'm starting to sense a pattern here. 

 

 

Easter Egg Roll
sonofsaf

Not funny, Ivanka Kushner’s a Jew
Not funny, got stormy in Lake Tahoe too
Not funny, has a golden toilet stall
Not funny, tiny mushroom thing, will build a wall

News is all fake shit
News is all fake shit
News is all fake crap and gay you’ll see
News is all fake shit
News is all fake shit
News is all fake crap and gay you’ll see

Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told
Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told

Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth
Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth

Not funny, no China Virus cure
Not funny we were warned about a dickhead to endure
Not funny, was romancing Stormy but got confused
Not funny how we all lose

News is all fake shit
News is all fake shit
News is all fake crap and gay you’ll see
News is all fake shit
News is all fake shit
News is all fake crap and gay you’ll see

Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told
Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told

Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth
Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth
Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth
Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth

Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told
Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told
Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told
Easter egg roll, corporate control
Spread the big lie and do as your told

Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth
Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth
Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth
Orange clown his billions in net worth
We’re gonna regret Trump’s rebirth

 

Head Like A Hole
Nine Inch Nails

God money, I'll do anything for you
God money, just tell me what you want me to
God money, nail me up against the wall
God money, don't want everything, he wants it all

No, you can't take it
No, you can't take it
No, you can't take that away from me
No, you can't take it
No, you can't take it
No, you can't take that away from me

Head like a hole, black as your soul

I'd rather die than give you control
Head like a hole, black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control

Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve

God money's not looking for the cure
God money's not concerned about the sick among the pure
God money, let's go dancing on the backs of the bruised
God money's not one to choose

No, you can't take it
No, you can't take it
No, you can't take that away from me
No, you can't take it
No, you can't take it
No, you can't take that away from me

Head like a hole, black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control
Head like a hole, black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control

Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve

Head like a hole, black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control
Head like a hole, black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control
Head like a hole, black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control
Head like a hole, black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control

Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve 

My second parody of "Head Like A Hole."  Four years ago, I penned #743.  Congressman Cole (regarding Representative Tom Cole of Oklahoma)

From what I understand, Mason's relative, maybe a second cousin or something, whose name I have zero idea, is a good friend of Trent Reznor.  Nice guy.  Had a good time at his party.  Impressive set-up in the garage.

From 1988 to 2013, Nine Inch Nails nailed the Burgh a grand total of 10 times.

Nine Inch Nails:

11-28-94, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

9-23-95, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#2281)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

#3004.  Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)

#3005.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#3006.  TikTok (Bangkok --- Destroyer)

#3007.  Michael Vrabel (God Is Able --- Planetshakers)

#3008.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)

#3009.  Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)

#3010.  Mulligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Big Lie --- Lin Manuel Miranda)

#3011.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)

#3012.  Hegseth (Macbeth --- Frank Turner & Jon Snodgrass)

#3013.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Ratt)

#3014.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Harem Scarem)

#3015.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Paula Cole)

#3016.  Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)

#3017.  Ivanka's A Cunt (Memories Of Love --- Chicago)

#3018.  The J-6 Hostages (Song For The Hostages --- Five For Fighting)

#3019.  Stormy D.'s A Cunt (Memory Of Love --- Elton John)

#3020.  Jeff Van Drew (Thru And Thru --- Rolling Stones)

#3021.  Jeff Van Drew (Not For You --- Pearl Jam)

#3022.  Daniel Ball (Alcohol --- Butthole Surfers)

#3023.  Oath Keeper Rhodes (So Many Roads --- Grateful Dead)

#3024.  Pardon (Garden --- Pearl Jam)

#3025.  Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided by Voices)

#3026.  Trump Dumpin' Rage (The Golden Age --- Cracker)

#3027.  Trumpin' 'n Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Chinchilla)

#3028.  Proud Boys (Bad Boys --- Inner Circle)

#3029.  Guy Reffitt (Forget It --- Rodriguez)

#3030.  Reffitt (Bullshit --- Guttermouth)

#3031.  Oath Keeper Rhodes (So Many Roads --- Joe Bonamassa)

#3032.  Trump Forever (Come Together --- Soundgarden)

#3033.  Trump Trump Trump (Dump Dump Dump --- Urge Overkill)

#3034.  Donald J. Trump's A Clown (Who Can It Be Now --- Men At Work)

#3035.  Proud Boys Will Defile (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#3036.  Proud Boys (Bad Boys --- Whitesnake)

#3037.  Hegseth (Last Breath --- Low)

#3038.  Trump Wants A Tariff (I Shot The Sheriff --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

#3039.  A Tariff (The Sheriff --- The Strumbellas)

#3040.  Andrew Kloster (Great Imposter --- The Fleetwoods)

#3041.  Go To Hell / Benjamin Black (Morning Bell / Amnesiac --- Radiohead)

#3042.  Netanyahu (Who's Cheatin' Who --- Alan Jackson)

#3043.  Trump's A Cunt (For Your Love --- The Yardbirds)

#3044.  Brendan Carr (Lucky Star --- Madonna)

#3045.  Marocco's Load (Tobacco Road --- David Lee Roth)

#3046.  Brendan Carr (lucky star --- Nessa Barrett)

#3047.  Noem (Rome --- Yeasayer)

#3048.  Brendan Carr (Superstar --- Social Distortion)

#3049.  FCC's Brendan Carr (You Are My Lucky Star --- Gene Kelly & Debbie Reynolds)

#3050. McClain (Insane --- The Hives)

#3051.  Paula White (Fly By Night --- Rush)

#3052.  Paula White (Candlelight --- The Mystery Writers)

#3053.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Son Volt)

#3054.  Elon Musk's DOGE (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#3055.  Unanue (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#3056.  Finland's Howard Brodie (On Top Of Old Smoky --- Burl Ives)

#3057.  Elon's DOGE (Vintage Clothes --- Paul McCartney)

#3058.  Paula White (Parasite --- Kiss)

#3059.  Brendan Carr (Caviar --- Wavves)

#3060.  Taake's Fuckin' Gay (Rocky Mountain Way --- Joe Walsh)

#3061.  Brendan Carr (lucky star --- Ricky Nelson)

#3062.  Whore Paula White's A Cunt (Your Inner Light Is Love --- Right Said Fred)

#3063.  The Biggest Lie (I Wonder Why --- Sha Na Na)

#3064.  Nancy Mace (Damage Case --- Motorhead)

#3065.  Emil Bove (Hello Hooray --- Alice Cooper)

#3066.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Mr. Kitty)

#3067.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Sly & The Family Stone)

#3068.  Kellogg (Black Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#3069.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#3070.  JD Vance (Take A Chance --- Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta)

#3071.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- They Might Be Giants)

#3072.  JD Vance (Second Chance --- Lemonheads)

#3073.  Trance (Vance --- Screeching Weasel)

#3074.  JD Vance (Second Chance --- Don Williams)

#3075.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- Mark Knopfler)

#3076.  JD Vance (If By Chance --- Patti LaBelle)

#3077.  Edward Robert Martin (Fightin' Fuckin' Fartin' --- Wheeler Walker Jr.)

#3078.  Vance (Dance --- Jesus Culture)

#3079.  Tucker (Sucker --- Marcus King)

#3080.  Congressman Hern's Pink Slime (If I Could Turn Back Time --- Cher)

#3081.  Turn! Turn! Turn!  (Hern! Hern! Hern! --- The Byrds)

#3082.  Hern's A Fuckin' Cunt (Turn My Back On Love --- Triumph)

#3083.  Hern's A Fuckin' Cunt (Turn It Into Love --- Kylie Minogue)

#3084.  Terry Cole (Rock And Roll --- Led Zeppelin)

#3085.  Tenney's A Piece Of Shit (Any Way You Want It --- The Ramones)

#3086.  Jack Posobiec (Right Side Of My Neck --- Faye Webster)

#3087.  JD Vance (Song And Dance --- Buck Owens)

#3088.  JD Vance (If By Chance --- Dean Martin)

#3089.  JD Vance (Take A Chance --- Chicago)

#3090.  Usha (Russia --- Tori Amos)

#3091.  JD Vance (Half A Chance --- Carly Simon)

#3092.  JD Vance (Half A Chance --- Vince Gill)

#3093.  Schimel Plan (Simple Man --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#3094.  Schimel (Simple --- Phish)

#3095.  Caine (Rain --- Planetshakers)

#3096.  Caine (Rain --- Skinny Puppy)

#3097.  Caine (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#3098.  Caine (Rain --- Grateful Dead)

#3099.  Dan Bongino (Love Casino --- Lenny Kravitz)

#3100.  Bongino (Casino --- Gleemer)

#3101.   Trumpin' Dumpin' Ass: He's Always Shittin' --- (Living Loving: She's Just A Woman --- Led Zeppelin)

#3102.  JD Vance (Song And Dance --- The Sound)

#3103.  Amy Gleason (Feels Like Treason --- Magnum)

#3104.  Jimmy Fuckin' Comer (Gary's Got A Boner --- The Replacements)

#3105.  Gleason (Reason --- The Cranberries)

#3106.  The Donald's Gay (This Is The Day --- The The)

#3107.  Dan Caine (Cocaine -- Eric Clapton)

#3108.  Ryan Woods (Damaged Goods --- Stabbing Westward)

#3109.  Cincinnati's Charlie Hustle (Colostomy Jigsaw Puzzle --- Cattle Decapitation)

#3110.  Charlie Hustle (Picture Puzzle --- Shirley Bassey)

#3111.  Marshall's Cock (Martial Law --- Ghostmane)

#3112.  Marshall's Cock (Martial Law --- Ookay)

#3113.  Floyd Joy Mayweather (Let's Stay Together --- Al Green)

#3114.  Brian Glenn (Now And Then --- The Beatles)

#3115.  Gleason Is A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#3116.  John Ratcliffe Baby (Take A Whiff On Me --- The Byrds)

#3117.  Hey Ukraine (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#3118.  Hayden Haynes (Wooden Planes --- Art Garfunkel)

#3119.  Haynes (Chains --- Iggy Pop)

#3120.  Stormy's Tits Are Fake (When The Levee Breaks --- Led Zeppelin)

#3121.  Brian Glenn (Born Again --- Supergrass)

#3122.  Daughter-Wife (Afterlife --- Illenium)

#3123.  Dan Caine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#3124.  Dan Bongino's Shitty (Cappuccino City --- Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever)

#3125.  Paula White (Parasite -- Volbeat)

#3126.  Dan Caine (Queen Jane --- Grateful Dead)

#3127.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Scorpions)

#3128.  Fuck JD Vance (Just One More Chance --- Dean Martin)

#3129.  Toilet Stall (Free For All --- Ted Nugent)

#3130.  Anal Hegseth (Angel Of Death --- Slayer)

#3131.  Bill Bazzi (Bumblebee --- Ween)

#3132.  White Cunt Of Bill Bazzi (Flight Of The Bumblebee --- The Alchemist)

#3133.  Clowns Of MAGA (South Of Heaven --- Slayer)

#3134.  Horseface (Racehorse --- Kelly Clarkson)

#3135.  Steak 'n Shake (Rattlesnake --- Live)

#3136.  Musk (Dusk --- Carbon Leaf)

#3137.  Cybertruck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#3138.  Elon's Cybertruck (Running Out Of Luck --- Mick Jagger)

#3139.  Cybertruck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3140.  Cybertruck (What The Fuck --- Ryan Adams)

#3141.  Pete Hegseth (The Black Death --- Something Rotten! Original Broadway Soundtrack)

#3142.  Cybertruck (Out Of Luck --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#3143.  Trumpin' Dumpin' (Waken Baken --- Wiz Khalifa)

#3144.  Newt Gingrich (Eat The Rich --- Motorhead)

#3145.  The Noeming (The Gloaming --- Radiohead)

#3146.  Donald J. Trump (Here Comes The Grump --- Adam Ant)

#3147.  Donald Trump (Do The Rump --- The Black Keys)

#3148.  Flood (Blood --- Pearl Jam)

#3149.  Nvidia (Albania --- Coach from Cheers TV Sitcom)

#3150.  Eichorn (Stillborn --- Black Label Society)

#3151.  Michael Flood (Raining Blood)

#3152.  Flood Is A Whore (Blood On The Floor --- Fleetwood Mac)

#3153.  Cybertruck (Semi Truck --- Teenage Bottlerocket)

#3154.  Summer Lee (Summer Breeze --- Seals & Croft)

#3155.  Tom Homan (My Omen --- Electric Guest)

#3156.  Pete Hegseth (Final Death --- Death Angel)

#3157.  Cybertruck (I Will Truck --- Dirty Projectors)

#3158.  Liberation Day (Celebration Day --- Led Zeppelin)

#3159.  Easter Egg Roll (Head Like A Hole --- Nine Inch Nails)

Please do not share this material with corporate sponsors of the White House Easter Egg Roll and/or President Donald J. Trump.