#105. Trump

Here's a fairly bold prediction.  I think Trump is going to start tweeting again.  My hunch is that he'd just create an account using his son Barron's identity.  And then frame everything like this...

My father thinks Nikki Haley is a loser.  Doesn't have what it takes to be your President!

Mitt Romney has betrayed the voters of Utah!  He voted for my father's impeachment.  Not once but TWICE along with the radical Senate Democrats and a few washed up, hate-driven RINOS! (Collins, Sasse, Murkowski, Cassidy, Toomey, and coward Richard Burr)

It strikes me as a very obvious thing for him to do.  And Trump usually does the obvious.  Plus, it would present the cable news circuit with an unusual dilemma - whether or not to afford coverage to Barron's twitter feed when everybody knows it's actually the Orange Prolapse.  I could see Hannity smirking.  You know, how it was Trump's business acumen that helped conceive of this brilliant way to buck the system.  Like he's some kind of social media mastermind.  (Hey, it's driving Jack Dorsey and all the twitter executives absolutely bonkers.  But what can they do?  There's no way for them to 100% verify if it's actually Trump Sr. incognito.).  

All he'd have to do is simply avoid tweeting the volatile, incendiary content.  The stuff that twitter blocks for violation of community standards.  He'd probably be able to control himself.  At least for a while.  As long as he sticks to his forte with the standard insults.  Dumb, stupid, pathetic, failure, and/or disgrace.  That's pretty much his sweet spot anyway.

I'm gonna even tag this with an over/under prop bet.  I think Trump will start tweeting again on... April 1, 2021.  Yep, April Fool's Day.  I just think the date would appeal to his base "screw them" egomaniac sensibilities.  The only question... in the meantime, would he be physically capable of refraining from implementation?  Solely nurturing the idea for 2 1/2 months to obtain its maximum "gotcha impact?"  Hmm, we shall see. 

And here's a question.  What would be the new twitter handle?  I kinda like @KneelBeforeTrump.  A familiar and reasonably sarcastic, clever spin on the whole "kneel before Zod" Superman bit.  Sounds like something a 16 year old might come up with.

Dedicated to the 2009 Reading Festival fans who got to witness the rare Creep opener.  This is the first time I effectively used the "orange prolapse" nickname in one of my parodies.  Yay me.  Whassup?!?

Trump
sonofsaf

So rotten to the core
You fucking pig in a sty
I’m sick of your hair gel
I hope that you die
You live in warm weather
Fake salute flag unfurled
I’ll give you cum facial
You're takin’ cum facial

Butt you’re a Trump
You’re a freakshow
Why the fuck you actin’ queer?
Want you to steer clear

Got rosacea and warts
Orange prolapse asshole
You are so fucking gaudy
The ultimate asshole
You have saggy large tits
Your nipples are round
Give you cum facial
I’ll give you cum facial

Butt you’re a Trump
You’re a freakshow
Why the fuck you actin’ queer?
Want you to steer clear

Melania’s a whore (whore)
Melania’s
A whore, whore, whore, whore,
Whore…

Barron calls you his pappy
Butt you are a cunt
You're takin’ cum facial
I’ll give you cum facial

Butt you’re a Trump
You’re a freakshow
Why the fuck you actin’ queer?
Want you to steer clear
Want you to steer clear

Creep
Radiohead

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
So fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door (run)
She's running out
She run, run, run, run,
Run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

Radiohead concerts: 

8-8-01, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, OH

7-26-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with former President Donald J. Trump, Barron Trump, Melania Trump, former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley, Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT), members of Radiohead, and/or the additional six Senate Republicans who voted to convict.