#74. Subway

Nothing sucks more... than when a major brand, wraps their entire identity around a single spokesperson... and he/she ends up being a child molester.  

 

Whoops, my bad.  Wrong Jared.

Still, now you know how the Catholic Church feels.  And to a lesser extent, Subway.  Makes you kinda wonder if either Jared exceeds six inches.  Food for thought.

Dedicated to all the Subway customers who think their fresh bread smells like feet.  Just know that you're not alone.  I repeat, you'll never walk alone.

Subway
sonofsaf

Tuna the fish is dear
A parking space for me is certain
Don’t bend, not order here
The human race the Iron Curtain
Short-lived, the shit is bull
I like to preach and pray today -
Adore, esprit de corps
I’ll eat at Subway

No pets or doggy doo
The choice my friend is in abstention
I shit use toilet tissue
Wandering Jew, plant based redemption
Be damned it could be worse
Lost all my pep throughout the work day
Adore, esprit de corps
I’ll eat at Subway

Wine, 19 Crimes
You’re not a Jew
Kosher Jag-off more baked ham for you
Don’t slip’n’fall and never pout
I said whazzup no sauerkraut
A reuben small
I ate it all
I was at Subway

Roast beef, Sliders, on rye
I popped a pill, but not abusing
And now, I will confide
I will not fall from the boozing
To drink until I’m fat
But I’m not gay, you know what they say
“Job blow, job blow, for me
I’ll eat at Subway”

Food I am a fan, brown bag I brought
So is a MILF, you say why not
No chicken wings or sushi eel
And not the turds from all those meals
But no one knows it’s what I chose
I’ll eat at Subway

Yes, I ate at Subway

 

My Way
Frank Sinatra

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I've travelled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each chartered course
Each careful step along the by-way
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times
I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all
And I stood tall
And did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed, and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
"Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes, it was my way

I never saw Frank Sinatra live in concert.  But I once did take credit for creating the term "Bada bing, bada boom."  Also, in the final Sopranos season, I enjoyed a clip of Nancy Sinatra performing for New York boss Philly Leotardo.  But that's about it.

Please do not share this information with the relatives of the late Frank Sinatra, Subway employees or management, Jared Fogell, Jared Kushner, and/or child molesters.