One of my favorite clips from The Office was Dwight and Michael performing Lazy Scranton. So I put a midwest spin on it. Think in terms of Angela vacationing on the casino circuit in Branson, Missouri.
Dedicated to Bye Missile out in Seattle. She compared my "hustling for tickets routine" outside Heinz Field to the behavior and mannerisms of Dwight Schrute.
Crazy Branson
sonofsaf
Shittin’ on the toilet a dump is what I’m takin’
Closin' the lights cash money that we’re rakin’
Yo Trump that clown is orange and shitty
Flies on Air Force One into the state of Missouri
They call it Branson (What?)
The state of Missouri
Branson (What?)
The state of Missouri
Crazy Branson, the state of Missouri
They call it that so you better not worry
The Bible Belt is in the Midwest
And our pubic zones and vaginas are truly the best
The treason patrol has knowledge from insiders
But check all the facts with your Holocaust denier
Plenty of lies in the Senate plot
Bearded Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley they got caught -
Caught, caught, caught, caught
Sneak attack crime, don’t wind up dead -
We like casinos for the black or red
They call it Branson (What?)
The state of Missouri
Brasnon (What?)
The state of Missouri
Branson (What?)
The state of Missouri
Branson (What?)
The state of Missouri
Branson (What?)
Lazy Scranton
The Office
Sittin’ in my office with a plate of grilled bacon
Call my man Dwight just to see what was shakin’
Yo Mike our town is dope and pretty
So check out how we live in the Electric City!
They call it Scranton (What?)
The Electric City
Scranton (What?)
The Electric City
Lazy Scranton, the Electric City
They call it that ‘cause of the electricity
The city’s laid out from east to west
And our public parks and libraries are truly the best
Call poison control if you’re bit by a spider
But check that it’s covered by your health care provider!
Plenty of space in the parking lot
But the little cars go in the compact spot
Spot, spot, spot, spot
Snack attack time, don’t lose your head
We like Cugino’s for the tasty bread
They call it Scranton (What?)
The Electric City
Scranton (What?)
The Electric City
Scranton (What?)
The Electric City
Scranton (What?)
The Electric City
Scranton (What?)
Just in case my parody's insufficient, here's the SNL original.
Please do not share this information with Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, former President Donald J. Trump, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO), and/or those who gamble in Branson, Missouri.
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