#73. Wendy's

Great scene from The Office:

I remember when you could get a small chili from the Wendy's value meal for 99 cents.  Throw in two packets of hot sauce and a bunch of crackers.  Your total with tax came to $1.05.  All things considered, this was possibly the greatest deal in the history of fast food.  Well, unless you're San Jose's Anna Ayala a/k/a "chili finger woman."  In 2005, she falsely claimed to have been served a Wendy's chili with a severed finger tip in it.  Mmm... kidney beans, ground beef, onions, bell pepper, tomato, pinky, seasonings, you get my drift.

Turns out, the actual finger belonged to Brian Paul Rossiter who lost it in an industrial accident at an asphalt company.  And then sold it to Ayala's husband to settle a debt of some sort.  The rest is litigation history.

During the same time frame, with the Iraq War going full throttle, I distinctly remember boycotting, not only Wendy's chili, but the fast food behemoth in general.  I caved about a year later. 

Dedicated to Rossiter's severed finger... which ended up costing Wendy's over an estimated 20 million in lost revenue.  He literally, and unknowingly, gave Wendy's the finger.

Wendy’s
sonofsaf

Wendy’s, Wendy’s
Will Baconator exit my rear
Wendy’s, Wendy’s
Wipe my asshole have no fear
With no hot sauce chili bowls
And a Frosty that is cold
You could say it makes you die
Wendy’s, Wendy’s

Wanna eat more when it’s fried
Wendy, you're ginger cool
But in the end we’re gonna die
Wendy’s, no barbecue
All of the drive thrus that we drived
All the meals we valued most
After takin’ a fat toke
Let me fuck you in the rear
Wendy’s, Wendy’s

Wipe my asshole have no fear
Oh, Wendy’s, they got fish  
Butt their restrooms smell like feet
I shat a massive dump of fries
But Wendy’s
Wendy’s
In the end we’re gonna die

With no hot sauce chili bowls
And a Frosty that is cold
You could say it makes you die
Wendy’s, I’ll still eat here maybe
Every time I sprink-kill salt on fries
There ain’t no lemon in my tea for two
C’mon biggie size my fries
Angie, Angie I should apologize
Wendy’s, Wendy’s, hot and juicy all the time

Angie
Rolling Stones

Angie, Angie
When will those dark clouds all disappear
Angie, Angie
Where will it lead us from here
With no lovin' in our souls
And no money in our coats
You can't say we're satisfied
Angie, Angie

You can't say we never tried
Angie, you're beautiful
But ain't it time we say goodbye
Angie, I still love you
Remember all those nights we cried
All the dreams were held so close
Seemed to all go up in smoke
Let me whisper in your ear
Angie, Angie

Where will it lead us from here
Oh, Angie, don't you wish
Oh your kisses still taste sweet
I hate that sadness in your eyes
But Angie
Angie
Ain't it time we said goodbye

With no lovin' in our souls
And no money in our coats
You can't say we're satisfied
Angie, I still love you baby
Everywhere I look I see your eyes
There ain't a woman that comes close to you
Come on baby dry your eyes
Angie, Angie ain't it good to be alive
Angie, Angie, we can't say we never tried

Rolling Stones concerts:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA 

1-10-03, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (Fail!  An ice storm around Claysville, PA forced Jay George and I to turn around and head back to Wheeling.  Fortunately, no tickets were eaten.) 

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN

Please do not share this information with Wendy's management/employees, Anna Ayala, Brian Paul Gossiter, Steve Carrell, members of the Rolling Stones, and/or those who have lost a "digit."