Wednesday, February 03, 2021

#66. Wood

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger just launched an investigation into Orange Prolapse attorney Lin Wood.

So Wood released this fucked up statement about how he's "currently domiciled" in the state of Georgia.

Hey now, feel free to call me some kinda weirdo dumbshit hillbilly atheist kosher Jew hamhock currently living in Pennsylvania... but at least I know where I reside.  And where I vote.  And I don't stroll around claiming how I'm "presently domiciled in the Burgh."

So here's what I think is probably goin' on.  Wood always votes in South Carolina.  Why?   Because it's his primary residence.  And that's where you're supposed to cast a ballot.  The place where you predominantly reside.  Where you work, where you sleep, where you piss, where you shit, where you raise a family, etc.  But this litigious asswipe Linn has multiple homes in different states.  So he's probably thinking to himself... oh well, South Carolina is guaranteed Trump country.  So I'll just cast a ballot from my Georgia home.  Where he knows it's a tossup.

Makes sense right?

So here's my hunch.  Wood was obviously registered to vote in both states simultaneously.  Perhaps others.  I do not know.  But if that's the case, it obviously violates the entire spirit of the election.  Hmm, I'll buy a bunch of different homes in all of these different states.  And I'll register in all of 'em and vote wherever I want!  Because MY vote is more important than the vote of the peons, the pissants, the putrid, and so on and so forth.     

Fuck Linn.  FUCK HIM!

Dedicated to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger.   

"Would" is easily one of the best power songs of the 90's.  So let's go with this acoustic version.


Wood
sonofsaf

Blow me token Trumpy lawyer
Rally so wild, blood thereafter

The voter fraud pretend
Just a quip from citizen
Georgia’s where I live and fake
Try to vote from out of state

Acting naughty, it’s pure commotion
Trying, coat hanger abortion

The voter fraud pretend
Just a quip from citizen
Georgia’s where I live and fake
Try to vote from out of state

The voter fraud pretend
Just a quip from citizen
Georgia’s where I live and fake
Try to vote from out of state

Play along
Did I vote too far from home?
I’m a pawn
Georgia I bemoan

Play along
Did I vote too far from home?
I’m a pawn
Georgia I disown

I am Wood, fuck you!


Alice in Chains:

7-21-93, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

Incidentally, the cruelest joke in the entire history of Pittsburgh heavy metal likely happened on August 17, 2019.  Korn and Alice in Chains played at Star Lake... while Maiden played at the arena.  Obviously we chose the latter.  But seriously, how fucked up was that?

Please do not share this information with Republican Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, Trump attorney Lin Wood,  former President Donald J. Trump, South Carolina voters, Georgia voters, and/or fans of Alice in Chains.


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