#138. Schlapp It Up

I hereby assign Matthew Schlapp, head of the American Conservative Union, the nickname of "Schlappy."  Seriously, what other option exists?  This guy just exudes a feeling of "schlappiness."

A wise man once said... "Schlappiness is a warm gun."  That'd make for a great intro song.

Schlappy will be reunited with the Orange Prolapse this weekend!  It's a reprise of last year's CPAC.

I don't gamble much these days, but I'd be willing to wager that Trump comes on stage, and once again, hugs the American flag.  

Just a sick hunch.

Schlapp It Up
sonofsaf

I've been lovin’ Trump for days now baby
It’s way more than just a phase now baby
You know his ass is orange and hot now baby
Morning sex with bagels and lox now baby

Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it

Well we just had an insurrection baby
Trump’s private army’s lotsa fun now baby
He’s had enough of D.C. town baby
Voter fraud he guarantees now baby

Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it

Well I'm Matthew Schlapp and I drive a fast car
Just don’t ever leave the door ajar
Treason and sedition accused
Fake it, fake it for me, just more of the news

I've been lovin’ Trump for days now baby
It’s way more than just a phase now baby
You know his ass is orange and hot now baby
Morning sex with bagels and lox now baby

Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it

Schlapp Schlapp
Schlapp Schlapp
Schlapp

Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it

Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it
Schlapp it up he’ll fake it

 

Wrap It Up
Fabulous Thunderbirds

I've been watchin' you for days now baby
I just love your sexy ways now baby
You know our love will never stop now baby
Just put your lovin' in my box now baby

Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it

Well no more will I shop around now baby
I know I got the best thing in town now baby
I've seen all I want to see now baby
Bring your lovin' straight to me now baby

Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it

Well I'm gonna treat you like the queen you are
Bring you sweet things from my candy jar
You've got tricks you ain't never used
Give it, give it to me, it won't be abused

I've been watchin' you for days now baby
I just love your sexy ways now baby
You know our love will never stop now baby
Just put your lovin' in my box now baby

Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it

Wrap wrap
Wrap wrap
Wrap

Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it

Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it
Wrap it up I'll take it 

I've never seen The Fabulous Thunderbirds live in concert.  They're kinda like the ultimate chili-cook off headliner.  In fact, "Wrap It Up" lands somewhere in the middle of my Top 10 most vilified songs of all-time.  

Saf, what other songs do you totally despise?  Good question.  A few songs immediately come to mind.  Blues Traveler's "But Anyway."  Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."  Elton John's "Crocodile Rock."  Melissa Etheridge's "Come To My Window."  These are some of the songs where I'll be taking a hot shower, and if they come on the radio, I find myself physically and emotionally compelled to exit the shower, temporarily freeze my ass off, and turn off the clock radio.

Please do not share this information with Matt Schlapp, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or anyone attending CPAC 2021.