All the news channels absolutely love Trump lawyer and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Maybe it's the crazy things he says. Maybe it's the hair paint dripping down his face. It could be a lot of things. But most think it's the facial expressions. They're relentless. It's the shit that just keeps you comin' back for more. Always wantin' more. It's the gift that keeps on givin'.
Even Uncle Fester ain't got nothin' on The Rude. And he pretty much set the standard. At least during the last century.
But here's the deal. Yeah, everyone's obsessed with Rudy's zany expressions. I get it. But the secret sauce is not in his eyes... it's in his thighs.
Dedicated to anyone who has performed fellatio on Rudy Giuliani and had a close encounter with those steamy, dreamy thighs.
Giuliani Thighs
sonofsaf
His hair is dyed I’m told
His hips will hypnotize
His hands are limp and old
He’s got Giuliani thighs
He’ll shove his pubic near you
He’s got some hairy dice
Just don’t go commando
He’s got Giuliani thighs
And he'll squeeze you, he’ll displease you
He is wetter when he pees YO
He’s atrocious and he crows about shit
Takes a dump royal flush
He’s got Groucho Harpo’s marked up eyes, he’s got Giuliani thighs
He’ll let you use his comb
Trial by combat fight
A missing chromosome
He’s got Giuliani thighs
He’ll fake a rumble for you
Doesn’t like to play nice
Some say he’s gone cuckoo
He’s got Giuliani thighs
He’ll oppose you, if he knows you
The conspiracy crap, he shows you
Braggadocious and he crows about shit
Takes a dump royal flush
Trumper toy just don’t ask why, he’s got Giuliani thighs
And he'll squeeze you, he’ll displease you
He is wetter when he pees YO
He’s atrocious and he crows about shit
Takes a dump royal flush
Trumper toy just don’t ask why, he’s got Giuliani thighs
He'll squeeze you
He’ll displease you
When he pees YO
He’s got Giuliani thighs
He’ll oppose you
If he knows you
And he’ll show you, he’s got Giuliani thighs
He'll squeeze you
Betty Davis Eyes
Kim Carnes
Her hair is Harlow gold
Her lips a sweet surprise
Her hands are never cold
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll turn her music on you
You won't have to think twice
She's pure as New York snow
She got Bette Davis eyes
And she'll tease you, she'll unease you
All the better just to please you
She's precocious, and she knows just what it
Takes to make a pro blush
She got Greta Garbo's standoff sighs, she's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll let you take her home
It whets her appetite
She'll lay you on a throne
She got Bette Davis eyes
She'll take a tumble on you
Roll you like you were dice
Until you come out blue
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll expose you, when she snows you
Off your feet with the crumbs, she throws you
She's ferocious and she knows just what it
Takes to make a pro blush
All the boys think she's a spy, she's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll tease you, she'll unease you
All the better just to please you
She's precocious, and she knows just what it
Takes to make a pro blush
All the boys think she's a spy, she's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll tease you
She'll unease you
Just to please you
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll expose you
When she snows you
'Cause she knows you, she's got Bette Davis Eyes
She'll tease you
Never seen Kim Carnes live. Though back in my Wheeling Park ice skating days, "Bette Davis Eyes" ranked up there with Don't Bring Me Down, Blinded by The Light, Another One Bites The Dust, and Whip It.
Please do not share this information with Rudy Giuliani and/or any relatives of the late Jackie Coogan (Uncle Fester).
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